It can be a slippery slope from porn into submission
Warning: This story contains elements of video sex, threesomes (MMF and FFM), group sex, nonconsent/reluctance, and even a gangbang.
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I caught my boyfriend Brad watching some porn on his computer. It was gross, but really, it was not surprising. Most men watch porn on their computers, or so I'm led to believe. I think it's disgusting, myself, but I also realize things are different for men.
We had a long talk about it. Perhaps I was being a little mean, because I know Brad hates my "talks." We can talk about our jobs, our bosses and co-workers, our friends, our enemies, news of the world, sports, even politics. (Brad is red and I am blue, even deep blue.) The point is, though, we can talk about these things, and have a good time doing it.
We just can't talk about emotional issues between us. That drives Brad crazy.we certainly cannot talk about sex. We can have sex, and we do, quite a bit if you ask me. We just can't talk about it.
I knew that, so I tried an unusual tack. I told Brad I had never watched porn (true) but was curious about it (also true, but not in the way I let Brad think I was), and could we watch together? Perhaps he could give me some pointers about the nuances and the like?
Brad laughed when I mentioned "nuances" but when I explained what I meant, he stopped laughing. He was thrilled I was - for once - not being judgmental and being open. It took some acting on my part, but Brad was buying it, and besides, I wanted to see what my lover liked.
A personality flaw of mine is that I tend to think I'm right about anything on which I have an opinion. I had a of opinions about porn, even if I had not yet ever watched anything. First, I figured porn was for men. Perhaps it was not exclusively for men, but most of it was for heterosexual men, gay men, and yes, well, okay, perhaps also lesbians. It was not, however, made for women like me.
Second, like everything else, I figured it was exaggerated. It portrayed scenes and events that probably never, or at best rarely, ever happened. This isn't surprising, and it's not even a bad thing, a priori. For example, just go see an action movie and you see all sorts of highly improbable things happening. You know it's the movies, and you've suspended disbelief, and so it's fun, even if it's not always realistic.
Third, I figured it was all staged, with men and women paid to act in the porno flicks, even the short videos, as nobody would do such things for free. It was hard for me to imagine people doing such things at all, to be frank, but I knew they were doing it, so that kind of reality forced me to temper my thoughts. To be honest, I knew most of the stuff portrayed really did happen, but without doubt it happened only rarely. It nevertheless amazed me that women would do such things, even if they were paid to do it in porn videos. The whole thing I found mind boggling.
Women drug addicts, sure, they might be happy to do pornos. Often women sold their bodies on the street in order to score drugs, so why not do porn videos? It was safer, cleaner, and probably more pleasant. I kind of suspected, even, that most of the women actresses were indeed drug addicts, getting money for their next scores.
Pornographic pictures, however, I felt might be different. I knew a lot of girls and women sent risqué or even lewd pictures to their boyfriends, and/or the boyfriends took such pictures. I also figured some of the boyfriends became ex-boyfriends and in a fit of pique posted the pictures of the unfortunate girls and women on the Internet. So, I concluded, some of the porno pictures, as opposed to the videos, might be of ordinary women and not of actresses.
As you can see I had thought about all these issues. I'm not sure why, but the entire porn phenomenon had always intrigued me. I suspect it might have been because such things were completely unimaginable to me. I was raised an upper middle-class girl. Porn actresses, like the now famous Stormy Daniels, were probably trailer trash, or close to it.
I was intrigued by the 'bad girl' aspect of it, however, and part of me (okay, just a small tiny part of me) wanted to break out of the iron vice grip of my good girl upbringing and be one of those 'bad girls,' if only for an evening. That was never going to happen, however. It was just a fantasy. It was a hot fantasy, but it was, unqualifiedly, a fantasy!
What I was the most interested in, however, was what aspects of porn appealed to men. Of course, different men could have different tastes, so in particular I was interested in what the men who I liked, or might potentially like, liked in porn. Did they just like seeing naked women, did they like seeing naked women getting fucked, and if so in what positions? Did they like misogynist aspects, did they like seduction, or perhaps simulated nonconsent? Did they like biracial sex, bisexual sex, lesbian sex, first times and the deflowering of a virgin girl, what?
There was no easy way for me to know in general, but I did have Brad right there, now didn't I? I might as well find out what he liked! I could do the obvious thing and ask him, right? I could secretly log onto his computer and check out the browser history and learn in detail what he had been watching, but my computer skills were not up to it. Besides, Brad changed his password frequently, and I did not know it.
Asking Brad seemed to be the way to do. That might not work, however, because he might be ashamed. Maybe he liked, for example, watching bondage and discipline, or scenes close to rape, or gangbangs, or other perverted things? He would surely be too embarrassed to reveal those tastes to me, especially given my conservative nature about all things sexual.
I decided to play it simple. "I've never seen porn, Brad. Can you show me a few of your favorites? It might be fun watching porn together?"
"You're teasing me, aren't you?" Brad asked, although it was not really a question. It was more of an accusation.
"Look Brad, I'm horny. I've never seen porn. Would you like to introduce me to it? Could you show me my first ever porn video? Choose something you like, and then maybe we could try it? Just the two of us?" I figured that might get to him.
"You're serious?" Brad asked.
"Completely," I said.
"No judging?" Brad asked.
"None at all. I'm tired of living in ignorance. You know me. I like always to learn, to know more stuff. This is a part of popular culture I've been missing out on. It's time to rectify that!" I said. I silently knew, however, that I was fibbing. I would judge. I would judge him every six ways from Sunday. You can't just turn off a part of your personality. I guess Brad knew I would silently judge him, as well. We both silently agreed to ignore this, however.
"You'll be grossed out, Cammie. There's oral sex galore, and also anal sex, and a lot of group sex, you know. Want to act out some group sex? A little two on one action?" Brad said.
"Don't be silly Brad. Let's stick to one on one sex," I said, and then realized my mistake. What if group sex was Brad's thing? I'd have no idea given the restriction I had just put on him.
