Confessions of a Mother

I was fucked up and I knew it. That is why I sought out counseling in the first place. I first met Lori to talk about what had happened in the past, but I had no idea that he future would be even more disturbing. It all began like this:

My daughter Allie was four years older than Jayme. We didn't have the best relationship, but it was much better that night.

When Allie was just 17 years old, I found myself in an interesting predicament. Her boyfriend Joel was 21 years old and despite the age difference, I did approve of him. He was a nice guy, athletic, and very handsome. He lived with his parents during his breaks from college, but he spent a great deal of time at my house. He was happy to find a beautiful girl with an open-minded mother.

I didn't ask any questions, and Allie didn't share much with me. I was okay with that. Jayme would have been 13 at that point and she was having an awful time at school. She took up much of my time and Allie had a lot of freedom. I'll admit I was a bit neglectful and didn't follow her comings and goings much. She was a good girl and I trusted her.

One night, however, she must have fallen asleep early and Joel came downstairs to watch TV with Jayme and I. I don't remember what we were watching because I was focused on some work that I had brought home. Before I knew it, Jayme went back to her bedroom because it was a school night and nearly ten o'clock.

I had the feeling that Joel was watching me type on my computer but I didn't think much of it - I didn't even look up. He asked what I was doing and I told him about my job and all of the work I couldn't finish in a nine hour day. He acted interested - I don't know why. It was boring work and nothing a 21 year old would be interested in.

I closed my laptop after a few more minutes and opened a bottle of beer that he had brought me from the refrigerator. Soon enough, I joined him on the couch and we watched TV. After a half hour, and two bottles of beer, he reached over and touched the back of my hand. I wasn't sure what he was doing. He returned his hand to his lap and the conversation resumed its casual pace.

He reached over again, taking my hand, and placed it in his lap. I pulled away quickly; I had no idea what to say. I sat there, it was awkward, but he talked as if nothing had happened. I can't explain why, but I shrugged it off and went back to my beer.

When he grabbed my hand again, he wasn't letting go. I began to shout at him but he told me to shut my mouth. He had covered my mouth with his other hand. Letting go of my hand, he unzipped his pants and revealed the bulge that had grown beneath his boxers. It was big and had a bit of a curve.

He told me that he was going to take his hand away from my mouth and that as long as I didn't scream, and do as I was told, that nobody would get hurt. I saw my life flash before my eyes and my heart was racing. I was even more worried about my sleeping girls.

The head of his penis was peeking from the elastic of his shorts and he reached down and let it spring up.

He told me to suck it, so I took it in my mouth and did as he said. Before long, I lost my inhibition and began to like the feel. It slipped in and out of my mouth with that slurping sound I just loved to hear. I cupped his balls and I took it as deep as I could without gagging. As much as it was wrong, I didn't resist. As much as I didn't want to be doing this, somehow I did.

He pushed my head up and slid my pants down as I got back to my feet. He pulled me closer, his pants and boxers around his ankles, and guided me onto his lap. I felt him enter and I shivered with a blend of excitement and horror. I bounced up and down on his cock, for what seemed like only a few minutes, before he pushed me off and turned me around. He worked me backward and maneuvered his dick into my ass. It hurt! I hadn't been fucked like this for a long time. Much slower than the last time, he eased himself in and out.

I could feel his cock begin to throb when he pushed me off, turned me around, and told me to get on my knees. I took his dirty dick back in my mouth and he grabbed a hold of my head. He was rough and I liked it. With his cock shoved as far down my throat as possible, he unloaded several streams of cum that both choked me and ran through my mouth and nose.

He wiped his dick on my shirt which was thrown beside him and he got up without saying a word. I cried. I cried because I was raped, and I cried because I liked it. I was embarrassed. Is this how he treated my daughter? I sure hope not - unless of course, that is what she wanted.

I gathered my things and went to bed. I awoke to Allie crying at my door. She told me that he dumped her and that it was all my fault. He told her that I seduced him and when he refused I told him to leave and never come back. I wanted to be there for her, but I couldn't. Not only did he rob me of my body, he robbed my of my daughter who would never trust or believe me again.

Allie spiraled out of control in the year or two that followed.