Dear Readers,
What can I say about the lovely support you have all shown me, especially given the infrequent updates between chapters? I can't tell you how surprised and gratified I was to see one of my chapters earned recognition for winning a monthly contest! You are all wonderful for coming on this ride and suspending your disbelief. Thank you for your patience, too. I'm not sure if people believed that the last chapter was the end, but I can assure you there is a long way to go before I'd be happy with leaving James, Cecilia, Abe, and Clara. I'll remind people that the author doesn't sanction or condone anything done to another person without their consent.
Xoxo
PoeticLicense
*****
James's final performances in America were a triumph. He knew that Cecilia's presence—in his life and in the audience—made those subtle but important differences to his playing. Even Roger stopped complaining about the opportunities lost due to Natasha, and started angling for solo recording deals. When James floated the idea of original compositions, Roger hedged; "No promises James, but I'll see what I can do. Those performances were just the ticket. Name the places and I'll be able to book you for concerts."
That was good news, and so James felt ready to leave America. The entire week he'd been steeling himself for the possibility that Cecilia might want to remain in the states after all.
He agonized over this in the early morning on his way to the nearest pharmacy to pick up Plan B. Cecilia was awake when he returned to the hotel. He handed her the package and a glass of water; she looked embarrassed, but only said, "thank you."
"Not at all. Least I could do, really. I shouldn't have been so careless." James started packing the last of his personal items away in his suitcase.
"You weren't the only one. I hadn't planned on any of this, but I knew better too."
James didn't like the self-recriminating tone in her voice. He paused in his packing and looked up. "We'll sort that out as soon as we're back in London."
Cecilia gave a small smile and nodded, relieved that he didn't make her feel dirty or awkward.
***
James insisted on lugging Cecilia's carry-on bag for her at the airport.
"I'm ready to be home," James admitted. He'd been away for months and the rapid pace of his last few performances up the American east coast cured him of his itchy feet. "How about you?"
"Me too," Cecilia said easily. "Not that this hasn't been a lovely, if unexpected trip. But I'm ready to have a home-cooked meal and see Clara and Abe. It's hard to keep this a secret from them."
"They'll be very surprised," James agreed as they boarded the British Airways jet. It amazed him that Cecilia showed no trepidation about leaving the States, but he wasn't about to question his luck.
It was nice to have a traveling companion on this last leg of his journey. His trip had been isolating in many ways until his rendezvous with Cecilia in Philadelphia. He noticed Cecilia's discomfort during takeoff and squeezed her hand in his own. After the plane leveled off and the cabin pressure stabilized, Cecilia turned her attention back to James. "We're really heading back? To London, I mean?"
"Yes. You're okay with that?" James asked. Now that they were in the air, it was safe to voice his doubt.
"I am. I just can't believe it. I never thought—never dreamed... that you'd be part of my future."
"I want to be, if you'll let me; it's you're choice."
"Of course, I want you to be."
James's eyes turned very serious, which made Cecilia's heart skip a beat. "You know you can change your mind, right? Do you feel I've forced you into anything?"
Cecilia looked bewildered at his question, so he continued.
"I don't want you to feel like I was your only choice."
"What do you mean?"
James considered his words. "Your apartment . . . I didn't want to leave you there, I admit that. I didn't realize where you lived was so . . . rough. I wouldn't blame you if you only wanted to stay with me to get away from that—but, I can set you up, if—"
"Stop." It was the first time Cecilia had ever cut him off. "Stop talking that way. I didn't have a place as nice as yours, but after such a narrow escape, do you think I'd give myself over to you if it wasn't something I wanted?" She was upset that the sincerity of her choice was in doubt. "It's not about apartments or money, James."
He'd insulted her. It was the last thing he wanted to do. "I just don't want you to be with me because it's the path of least resistance. I can set you up with your own place—somewhere safe—and let you decide if this is something you want." James hated this suggestion, but knew it was the chivalrous thing to do.
Cecilia didn't like that suggestion either. She touched the ribbon on her neck. "Don't you still want me?"
Oh God, her mother's voice had been right.
James squeezed her hand. "I do. God knows, I do."
"Then why are you changing your mind now?"
James thought that waiting until they were in the air would help him avoid such a question. "I'm not changing my mind Cecilia. But, it would be very easy for someone to use your trauma against you. You were introduced to the lifestyle—to me even—in the worst imaginable way, and now I'm the scoundrel who's reaped the benefits of your misfortune."
"How can you say that?"
"Because it's true. You don't know what a healthy relationship looks like. Especially, not a relationship like ours."
Cecilia had stopped blinking in her anger, and now tears were threatening to spill, tugging at James's heartstrings.
"Cecilia, we're on a jet, flying over the Atlantic, headed back home. I want you. I should have discussed this with you before now, but I've been selfish. I've already behaved poorly. You deserve full disclosure."
"I've had full disclosure. Please don't change your mind."
"I won't. But I need you to know you're allowed to change yours. At any time. For any reason. Do you understand?"
"Yes Sir."
"Good. Do you still want me to show you what a relationship like ours is supposed to look like?"
"I do, Sir." Cecilia's eyes stopped tearing and she felt calmed just by uttering the words.
James brushed away an errant tear. "Good girl. Relax. Nothing is wrong. You're not in trouble."
Cecilia gave a weak smile.
During the flight James occasionally asked Cecilia about her like and dislikes when it came to their play. He explained they were her "limits." He had his own. Limits were to be respected at all times. He shared that he refused to engage in anything that broke the skin or drew blood. He had little to no interest in having multiple partners either. She agreed and told him that she also didn't care for blindfolds, but was very receptive to bondage.
"Even if you feel okay with bondage know, if you feel unsafe or want me to free you, you have every right to use your safeword. Do you understand?"
"Yes Sir."
"One day, we'll test your limits, either intentionally or inadvertently. So I need to know you'll use it. I don't want to push you that far right now. I want to give you the gentleness and affection you didn't have in your initiation. But if, for some reason, you feel scared or triggered, I need to know. Do you understand why that's important?"
"I do. I promise."
"Good. Then we'll say no more about it for now. I'm sure I've given you enough to think over."
"Enough and then some," she agreed.
"I'm sorry if you're overwhelmed. I just want to make certain that we start this new chapter right. It's not often you get a second chance."
"I'm glad though, aren't you?"
"I'm ecstatic," he said earnestly. "We'll be home soon. Are you ready?"
"I am, Sir. I can't wait to see their faces."
***
James stood to let Cecilia walk in front of him as they got off the jet. "Abe sent me a text. Apparently he's picking me up alone."
Cecilia's face fell. James redirected her disappointment. "That means we'll get to make quite an entrance when we arrive back home and also surprise Clara."
After collecting their bags, James looked down to his phone. "Abe's parked outside the terminal." Cecilia smiled, picking up on the lighthearted energy pervading James's smile.
They lugged their baggage out the doors of the terminal and saw the familiar Audi S4 waiting for them with the hazard lights blinking.
Abe leaned against the car, keeping his eyes peeled for his best mate. He didn't register James until he was only 3 meters away. "James! It's great to see you!"
Cecilia hung back behind James, wondering how long she could hide in plain sight. She got her answer when Abe pulled James into a brotherly one-armed hug. That was when he recognized Cecilia standing shyly just behind James. "CECILIA!" he broke his hug with James, practically pushing him out of the way in favor of wrapping Cecilia in a big bear hug.
"Well, that's a welcome, I'd say. My best mate just threw me over..." James muttered to himself in a self-depreciating tone. He smiled anyway as his friend warmly greeted the new love in his life.
"Ahhhh!" Cecilia squealed. "Abe! It's good to see you!"
"Damn straight, it's good to see you too. What's going on here? Why aren't you in Philadelphia?" He asked Cecilia, but looked at James.
"There was a change in plans," James said lightly.
"I can see that, you thickhead." Abe retorted.
James wrapped his arm around Cecilia and kissed her temple, choosing to avoid the whole story while making the reasons obvious.
"Come on, I'm tired. Let's go home," James prodded as he rounded the back of the sedan and waited for Abe to pop the boot.
Abe looked sidelong at James and said to Cecilia: "I can't believe neither of you told me. Does Clara know?"
Cecilia shook her head and grinned. "It's a surprise. For both of you, but then Clara stayed home... We'll surprise her when we get in."
Abe laughed heartily and helped Cecilia throw her extra suitcases into the car. "D'you know James, I was going to have a chat with you on the way home about Cecilia." James clambered into the front passenger seat, Cecilia slid into the back, and Abe got behind the wheel, setting off for home. "I was going to try to convince you that we should all go and see her in Philadelphia to make sure she'd settled in alright." He glanced at Cecilia in the rearview mirror and nudged James. "Guess you were a few steps ahead of me then?"
"You could say that," James said.
"Fine, James. Keep the stiff upper lip for now if you must, but Clara won't rest until she hears exactly what's been going on. And I'm inclined to let her."
Cecilia couldn't stop smiling. In no time at all, they were back at James's posh townhouse. She let Abe and James enter first. A delicious aroma greeted them in the foyer, and she and James sighed in appreciation. It had been ages since James enjoyed a home-cooked meal. "Sweetness! We're back!" Abe called into the house, as he set one of the suitcases by the stairs.
After a moment, Clara emerged carrying a glass of wine. "That's perfect, dinner will be ready as soon as you freshen . . . up . . ." Clara trailed off and set down her glass before emitting a high gasp of delight and a feminine scream. "You're
back
! Oh!!"
