Chapter 1 EDIT
I sat at the table, wishing I were elsewhere. I was wearing one of the two St Laurent dresses I had packed, a black A-line number , relieved it wasn't as sexy as my others. It had long sleeves and covered my thighs to just above my knees. I had put my hair up, and I wore a wide black choker round my neck that I had picked up in a mall this afternoon.
Professor Wu Yongjie held court at the table with his glamorous assistants on either side of him. I had taken an instant dislike to all of them. Him, for his arrogance and domineering manner and outright rudeness to the hotel staff, or anyone I guess he considered below him, and them for the way that they pandered to him, giggling at his jokes and simpering at him.
His assistants were already wary of me, an attractive overseas Chinese girl, and possible competition? They were welcome to him. One of the girls looked at me curiously then with a more penetrating stare. I looked away and said something about the food to my neighbour. But I was aware of her still staring at me. She leaned over to whisper to Professor Wu. My heart sank and I felt myself colouring. Had they recognized me?
'That's a nice choker', she said with a unpleasant smile, 'may I see it?' and she held out her hand. Did she expect me to take it off and pass it to her?
'Chokers are good for hiding things' she went on. My heart was pounding and I excused myself to go to the bathroom.
I stood in front of the mirror, looking at myself. Was this girl still me? I studied the choker turning my head from side to side. Nothing to see. I gently rolled down the choker, and there was the dark red love bite, lip-shaped on my neck. I fingered it pensively. I lifted the hem of my dress exposing my thighs and looking at the bruises. I was thankful for the long sleeves which hid more. I went into a cubicle to pee and sat for a while. I heard the door open followed by voices. Prof Wu's companions!
'I think it's her!' One of them said.
'It looks like her but it can't be. She's a slut for sure, but I can't imagine her being there, doing that?' the other sounded doubtful. Sadly her reservations were not justified.
'Then why is she wearing that choker? It doesn't go with her dress, it could be hiding that love-bite, remember?'
I remembered. How could I forget? Everything was so fresh in my mind, and I drifted back to the beginning...
Yes, all this has been in my mind since the events happened. And yes, it's a true story that I experienced before the world changed with Covid. Was it only two years ago? I won't give any indication where I work as I certainly don't want anyone to identify me from this. The school and Medical College I mention also are not the actual ones although they give the idea of my background, of the kind of girl I am.
I was 26 years old at the time and had been married for just over a year to my steady accountant boyfriend of the last 3 years. A comfortable life, maybe too routine? My husband and I are both very busy in our careers, and always tired by bedtime. Sex was still good, but I doubted that we fucked more than once a week. Perhaps our lives were lacking in passion and excitement?
In our early days I loved to be tied up, as previous bfs had done. I still remember the thrill of being tied, spreadeagled on our bed. The feeling of helplessness was such a turn on, although I had never really considered myself as submissive. I'm not sure my husband was so keen, but he went along with it. Perhaps I felt wistful sometimes?
At the time I was attending a medical conference in Bangkok. I had arranged to stay on afterwards for a holiday with some girlfriends who were flying out. With this brief background lets return to me sitting in the loo, as my mind drifted back to the start...
I was feeling annoyed. The conference wasn't as interesting as I had hoped although my own presentation had been well received. Now I had done my talk and there was anti-climax.
The conference dinner this evening had dragged. I had wanted to sit at dinner with my friends but having won an award I had to sit at a table with the seniors. As I mentioned, Professor Wu Yongjie held court. I had learned that he was a bigwig from Beijing, and was struck by the deference that the other Asian doctors from Thailand, Taiwan and the Philippines showed him.
He was said to be very rich, his arrogance on full display and he always seemed to be surrounded by a bevy of pretty young interns and research assistants. I wondered maliciously if they had other duties? He was middle-aged, fat, balding and used to getting his way and now he seemed to be expecting an attractive young British Chinese doctor, me, to show him the same deference, even succumb to his supposed charms I wondered?
A couple of guys had hinted that now my research paper was in the running for the final prize, it would be worthwhile being nice to him. He was Chairman of the prize committee. Inwardly I felt a sense of outrage... did they expect me to sleep with him? Actually, I found him totally repulsive, and the thought of him touching me turned my stomach. Several times during dinner I found him leering at me, trying to catch my eye, otherwise he seemed bored. At least when shared that in common.
When someone at the table mentioned the red-light districts in Bangkok Professor Wu's attention seemed to perk up. A middle-aged American woman sitting opposite said that she could never understand how those girls could do those things for money, it was so demeaning. Professor Wu just laughed although his pretty assistants agreed with her, making clear their total disdain.
I tended to agree with them, feeling contempt for such low women, so far beneath me in status, although somehow I had always been curious about that world. I was an avid reader of Anais Ninn, Collette, Angela Carter and their stories of the demi monde. I remember being turned on by a Guy de Maupassant story when I was at school about a wealthy lady being mistaken for a prostitute.
I occupied a completely different world growing up in Hampstead, attending South Hampstead School for Girls followed by Oxford and St Thomas' Hospital Medical School and now pursuing my hospital career in the NHS. I was aware that I was fortunate in my life, and I also knew that I had been spoilt, the apple of my wealthy parents' eye. My two brothers had always looked out for me too.
At last dinner was finished and we all moved through to the dance area. On the dance floor in my LBD, (OK this one was red!) I had swayed to the rhythms of indifferent music, mostly K-pop and Canto-pop with a few international hits thrown in. Haha, I admit as usual I started to feel a bit of a dancing queen not that I seemed to command the deference appropriate to royalty. Was my dress too short?
Several times I had to smile sweetly and twist away from the arms of an over-amorous senior colleague. The Japanese and Chinese doctors seemed to feel less reserve in groping me than their Western counterparts, and I felt more than a few hands on my ass in the darkness of the dance floor with flashing lasers playing over us. Don't say I was aroused!
When I saw Professor Wu approaching me, I slipped away. Eventually I extricated myself from the dance floor and went for some drinks in the hotel bar with my colleagues. We spent a pleasant hour or so chatting and drinking too much. At around 11pm we said our goodnights. I made a quick trip to the bathroom and then walked to the lifts, swaying slightly... too much wine, whisky? What else? The lift lobby was empty. As I waited somehow I felt expectant, wanting ...what? I thought of going up to my room, lying on bed, touching myself. I wanted release.
I paused at the lift, but didn't enter, turning on my heels. I wanted some air; my head was swimming slightly. I decided to go out by myself. I had already called home so no more duties there, my husband was working. I walked on down the street from the Marriott ... luxury conference hotel Asia style. So much grander than back home in London.
It had been raining earlier. Unconcerned, my feet led me onwards. I felt excited, not really knowing why. I gazed in the windows of stores stopping now and then to look. I walked on. The roads gradually changed, big stores and luxury restaurants becoming fewer and the road winding.
I walked further taking a few turns barely aware of the roads becoming narrowing, hardly noticing how the bars became smaller, crowded, cheap neon glaring on the wet pavement. I could not walk elegantly in my heels, not after so much whisky, but at least I could still stand, walk.
It wasn't too hot at this time of year. Too drunk, I had left my raincoat back in the hotel bar. Would I get it back, a present from my husband? Fuck! I never really liked that coat and it had stopped raining. I didn't miss the coat, but my red minidress was quite short; well I decided, I didn't care about my bare thighs. Aware of admiring glances from guys sitting, drinking beer and whisky as I passed, I smiled back and flounced past... swaying my ass more provocatively?
Restaurants and cafes gave way to different bars. They were all similar with Agogo featuring in their names. Thai and Chinese girls, looking not so different from me perched on stools waiting for customers under the watchful eye of their mamasan. There were too many people walking here and I turned down a small side street still with small bars and massage parlours.
I felt excited, alive, a bit drunk? Sure. My friends had gone back to their rooms early, which annoyed me, but I hadn't been ready for bed. Conference begins early tomorrow? WTF I could just go in to one of these places for another drink! I wished I had stopped at one of the nicer cafes I had passed.
I hesitated in front of a doorway. Shall I go in or better just head back now? Better the latter, but the doorman swung open the door smiling at me. I crossed the threshold into this faceless bar and entered. Brash music hit me and I inhaled the smell of alcohol and sweat and tobacco and,,, sex? I felt intoxicated, elated. I wanted to drink, but I knew I would need to be alert, careful.
There was a good chance some guy would try to chat me up. But I admitted to myself that I wanted to feel desired, I was ready to flirt a bit. I thought I could extricate myself before anything too much happened that I would regret later. A snog? Groping hands like at the conference dinner? Could I let them go a little bit further here! I was feeling a little turned on. It was quite dark, with flashing lights... many people, a stage with gyrating forms, noise, bustle, life.
