Thank you for some of the nice feedback. I was a bit nervous to relive and share my memories. Some readers asked me if it is a true story. The answer is yes. This is what happened to me in Bangkok. This was about 3 or 4 years back so in places my recollections are a bit hazy. I have tried to remember what people said to me. Some people, some customers made more impression on me than others. Some things have stayed with me more than others and I have written more about them. I was pretty scared when I was there, but I also found it very exciting. I was lucky I think, because I heard of other girls who sounded very like me who got trapped in that life. Coming from a good family, I certainly never expected I would experience life as a prostitute. I hope you don't judge me too harshly, and that you enjoy my story.
Chapter 3
I slept deeply, exhausted from my nights activities. I dreamt I was with a lover, smooth and warm. He held me close, close, close, caressing me, kissing me. Tongues and fingers in intimate places. I woke damp between my legs, with a glowing feeling.
As my consciousness returned I was quite disoriented. I was alone in the small bed. Looking around it started to come back, and I realized I had slept all day. I could see through the small window that it was getting dark outside. Ni had already showered. Other girls were rising, putting on their slips or thongs. I sat naked on the edge of the bed. I felt famished. Apart from water, my only sustenance had been the gulps of sperm that I had greedily swallowed last night. Unlike downstairs in the club, the upstairs dormitory didn't seem to be air-conditioned, or at least it wasn't switched on. I could feel the balmy warmth on my skin, but at least this was the cool season.
I went to the shower with another girl, which revived me fully. Now that I was sober, my situation became clearer to me. I felt uneasy... on edge, how readily had I slipped into accepting things that would have appalled me only days ago.
At work, in my hospital I mean not here in the brothel, if someone had so much as patted my ass, I would have immediately made a formal complaint. A grievance procedure would have rapidly followed with the offender most likely facing suspension. I imagined the outrage my girlfriends and I would have felt, discussing it, sipping our glasses of chardonnay in our favourite wine bars just off Park Lane, or by the river.
In the past, I had prided myself on my strength of character, and if not overtly feminist, I certainly believed in my equal rights as a woman, as a female doctor. So I was painfully aware of what I had become, and that my body was now a plaything for any man that desired me. It was shocking to contemplate, but each time I thought of it, I felt a tingle between my legs.
I knew that one of my least likeable traits, which I did my best to overcome or at least hide, was a snobbish sense of superiority. I felt more intelligent, prettier, deserving even, than most of my acquaintances, and had often scorned the advances of guys that I felt were beneath me. Among my immediate group of Chinese girlfriends, I was the one who stood out, who guys would try to approach first. But we all had similar outlooks on the world. We came from quite privileged backgrounds. I'm ashamed to say that beyond our careers, which admittedly were pretty demanding, we were more concerned with fashion and gossip than politics and important issues. I mostly wore designer clothes, occasionally feeling pangs of guilt as I glanced at the price tags... designer clothes? Not anymore!
This was in my mind as I fingered my filmy, cheap nylon slip and thong idly. Perhaps hunger kept me from dwelling, worrying too much about my predicament. I felt very vulnerable in this strange alien place. I had missed any chance I might have had to leave during the day, now I was becoming resigned to staying another night.
And then I remembered... OMG! Had I been fucked bareback? Yes! I remembered. The big American guy! The only one at least... surely? Oh fuck... Clive! My husband's boss? I felt butterflies, and my fingers strayed to my stomach, in a futile effort to feel if I were pregnant. On the few occasions I had had unprotected sex before, I had gone straight to a pharmacy to get a morning after pill. I remembered feeling embarrassed by the questions they routinely asked me.
Now I felt like a simple and weak girl among these dominant people who knew nothing of my true circumstances, and yet, if I admitted to myself... I was excited, yes, its true, I was turned on by the thought that complete strangers had cum in my pussy, and crazily, I felt excited by the uncertainty of whether I might be pregnant.
I had been lured so easily, recklessly into their world. Fuck! Now I wasn't sure how to get out, back to my familiar environment. I wondered if anyone had missed me. Right now I was so hungry, I found it difficult to focus clearly. Food! I need to eat, and then leave this place.
Ni came back in and approached me smiling and putting her hand gently on my shoulder.
'Kitty, we go eat, is very late breakfast', she giggled.
I followed her down to a basic kitchen where scantily clad girls like me were eating rice and papaya salad. I helped myself and enjoyed the filling spicy food sitting in one corner.
I looked around at the other girls, all of us tucking into our rice. Was I really one of them? With my education, my privileged background, all my knowledge of medicine, of science. What did they know of molecular genetics? For a moment my mind drifted back to restriction endonucleases... to the lab research I had been doing. With my eyes closed, for a moment I could almost imagine myself back in the lab over lunchtime...
Clap! Clap! The picture vanished instantly, 'We opening in one hour girls.' Mamasan rasped at us, demanding our attention.
Yes, I wasn't a researcher in the lab, I was a whore in a brothel. I approached Mamasan warily.
'Mamasan, please. I leave my bag and dress in changing room, I can't find.' Was there a note of pleading in my voice?
She looked blankly at me. 'Uh, maybe somebody put in my office. Why you leave lie around?' She looked me up and down, seeing what? A small Chinese girl, pretty with slender body barely covered, gazing up at her hopefully.
'Ah, ah, why needing dress anyway?' It was hardly a question.
I wondered if she even recalled meeting me at the door of the bar, where she had procured me as a whore. She just looked on me now as another of her girls. I tried to remember what was in my bag. Thankfully not my passport. That I had left in my hotel room safe together with my purse. My phone was there, some papers. Fuck, a small notebook with some addresses and notes. I didn't want her to be able to identify me.
