Spring had kissed D.C. for just enough time to allow the soft pink of the cherry blossoms to bloom before winter snapped back to bitter cold. I was walking my great dane, Amadeus, a large black and brown spotted house-horse with a tail like a whip, when I saw her in the park. She was caught in a sudden gust of wind, a flurry of petals swirling around her and getting caught in the curls of her long deep brown hair. She had a laugh like liquid silver, it danced in the cold air and caused her to glimmer. The wind had burned her cheeks to a rosy pink that matched her full lips that could only be described as luscious. She had eyes the color of gold and a cute upturned nose. I wonder what she looked like naked, I bet she was curvy like Marilyn, but her bulky tan coat made fantasies impossible. I would have stayed to watch her, but Amadeus was getting restless, and resisting a great dane was futile. I left her there in the park with the cherry blossoms, never to see her again, or so I thought.
Her visage haunted me in my dreams. Steam from the shower would turn into her face. I tried hard to forget her. I even dated a young secretary for a time, but she was blonde and thin and couldn't hold an intelligent conversation. I longed for more. I longed for cherry blossoms and gold eyes. I had taken to sitting on the window sill and watching the street. I hoped that one day I might see her and be able to rush down the five flights of stairs and out the door to stop her and tell her that it was love at first sight, but that was a daydream.
One summer morning, as I sipped my coffee and stared down at the street, a flash of white caught my eye. I turned and looked up. Someone's window was open in the apartment complex next to mine. Pale legs in red heels, spinning and spinning, tapping to a beat I couldn't hear. I smiled. A young woman. I wondered if she could take my mind off of the woman from the park. Maybe. She stumbled and fell back. I held my breath, was she hurt? When she tossed her head back and laughed, I couldn't help but laugh too. She seemed young and pretty. It wasn't until she got up that I was able to see all of her. Long pale legs. Wide hips with red lace panties. Thin waist. Ample breasts with a red lace bra. Pink cheeks... Luscious lips... It couldn't be, but it was. Adjacent to my window was the window of the girl I had left among the cherry blossoms. I could observe her more closely now. She had a small dark mole on the inside of her right thigh and scars on her knees. Her arms and shoulders were freckled and her nails were long and unpolished. She turned, startled at a sound, towards the door. She fled to another room, out of sight, and a small impish redhead entered, took a look at the open window and immediately closed it and drew the blinds.
It was her, just a few yards away. I saw her. My mind began to swim with images of her dancing in red heels, her bare back, those large breasts. It wasn't enough to just imagine her body though. I finished my coffee and stepped into the shower. I turned the water on hot as it would go. It felt like ice against my fingers and toes and burned my back. I couldn't help it. I wanted desperately to feel those thighs, to kiss them. I needed her lips against my lips. My fist connected with the tile on the wall. No! How would I see her? It's not like she would pop over to my building, walk five floors up and knock on my door and ask for a cup of sugar, where then I would seduce her into being my little sex bunny. Although that was starting to sound like a delightful fantasy. I couldn't think, so I just watched.
That summer she left the blinds open and her roommate closed them. She liked to dance in her underwear and drink chocolate milk. Her favorite colors seemed to be peach and lavender. I wanted to see her more closely, but sadly the distance was too much.
It wasn't long until I found myself looking at a pair of binoculars. They weren't high quality, but I didn't need them to be. I didn't expect to really use them, but then I was fooling myself. The next time I noticed the shades up, I grabbed them and began to watch. She had painted her nails pink and began to spend a lot of time on her laptop. I couldn't see the screen, but her face became flushed and she wouldn't spend more than fifteen minutes online before she closed the computer and left the room. Naughty girl, I bet she was watching porn, or maybe reading erotic stories online. The thought of her, laying back on her bed with her thighs spread wide as she played with herself made me go crazy, but not as crazy wondering what she could possibly be looking at. That's when I noticed the scratch marks on her thighs and the little half moons of nail marks on her breasts. Had she gotten carried away? Or was she a masochist?
I began to resent her for teasing me so blatantly, in the back of my mind I knew she wasn't doing it on purpose, I know that she had never seen me, but still, she was teasing me nonetheless. If she liked pain, then I wouldn't mind giving it to her. It started simply, I fantasized about biting her skin, leaving hickies and dragging my nails down her back, maybe even spanking her. Then it got more elaborate. I wanted to tie her up and drag knives down her skin, occasionally letting the blade bite into the flesh so that a little dot of blood would pop up so that I could lap it up. My own fantasies drove me insane, I needed to meet her. I learned her schedule. It seemed erratic and nonsensical at first, until I realized all of the books she constantly carried with her. She was a college student.
Amadeus got to take a walk every day at 6pm. I walked by her a few times and she took no notice. I once got close enough to smell her perfume. It was rich and sultry but also light and sweet. I breathed it in deep and began to look for it in department stores only to find it was just a simple body spray. It smelled different on her though, less like sugar and more like honey. Then it happened, Amadeus ran into her and she fell. I felt a little bad at first, but once I helped her to her feet and she looked into my eyes, it no longer felt like chance, it was destiny.
Her hand was so cold as I held it in mine and pulled her to her feet. She smiled and ran her fingers through her hair and breathed in deep before muttering a quick thanks. I thought that was it until she looked at me with a gorgeous smile. "Is he friendly?"
"Huh?" I was too distracted by her beauty to realize that I had a dog. "Oh, yeah. His name is Amadeus."
She knelt to the ground and began petting, patting and scratching Amadeus. His tail went wild and whipped me in the leg. I didn't care. "You're really beautiful."
I couldn't stop myself and fumbled to cover up my idiocy. The words just tumbled out. "I mean, uhm, it takes a special kind of girl to not be afraid of him. He's so big most girls are really scared even though he's a sweet heart. You petted him with such joy, it's really nice."
I mentally kicked my own ass. She just giggled and scratched behind Amadeus's ear. "I love dogs, I wish we could have one, but my girlfriend and I, our apartment doesn't allow pets."
Girlfriend. Girlfriend. Girlfriend. She was a lesbian. She liked only girls. I am not a girl. Fuck. I nodded and let her finish pampering my pooch before just wandering around the city for an hour and a half contemplating the benefits of a sex change when, forlorn, I returned to my apartment, still happy I had a dick and desperately wanting to keep it. After all, most of my fantasies are just about how it would feel to push into her, feeling the silky sensation of her pussy around my cock, tight and wet. I just fell into bed and slept for a long time.
It was dark. Everything was silent as I entered the apartment, a mirror's reflection of what I had always seen it to be. There were her heels by the front door and her laptop on the coffee table. I was silent as I moved through the apartment. She wouldn't know I was there until I was on top of her. I stood at her bedside, watching her breast heave in her sleep. I took the knife, now in my hand and pressed it to her throat, she opened her eyes and they glowed with an intensity that shook everything into daylight. I was now between her legs, her hands tied with red silk and her entire body quivering beneath me, as I pushed into her, everything turned into silk and I began to fall. I awoke with a start and the buzzing of my alarm.
That's it, I needed her. I continued to walk Amadeus at 6pm and each time I walked by her, she would say hi and pet him. I even learned that her name was Amanda. Eventually, whether driven by curiosity or whatever, I don't care, she asked me if I lived nearby. When I pointed out the apartment building, she told me what I already know, that she lives in the one right next to it. I acted surprised and suggested coffee at my place. I was ready for almost anything, a kind rejection or even for her to laugh in my face, but not for her to accept my offer.
