He was almost back at the house, the backseat of the car loaded up with food for tonight's dinner, when John heard the siren.
He sighed with frustration. This seemed to happen every time he left the house. He was only five minutes away from home too, and he had a whole afternoon's cooking to get underway!
He pulled over the Porsche to the side of the road, watched in the rear-view mirror as the police car slowly pulled up behind him with its lights flashing, although the siren had now ceased.
John rolled his eyes. This was part of the day-to-day routine for a man in modern society. Best to get it over with. Hopefully it wouldn't take long.
He watched in the rear-view mirror as the long-legged cop stepped out of her car, her sleek leather boots shining in the glare of the burning sun. She was tall, he could see, and her body was tanned and fit. Much stronger than his own gawky eighteen-year-old frame, with its awkward limbs and skinny muscles.
The cop advanced brusquely towards the Porsche, her long black hair flowing behind her in the cool breeze. She was all business, and – John could see in the rear-view mirror – wore a stern expression on her face.
"Well," she began, her voice hard, "what have we got here?"
"Officer, I'm just on my way home with groceries," John attempted to explain in a weary voice (he had done this so many times before!) "That's all."
The cop didn't believe him.
"Uh-huh," she replied, unconvinced. She looked the sleek black Porsche over from trunk to bonnet. "That sure is a nice car you have here, male."
"It isn't mine," John replied. Every time, he had to explain this. Every time. And they never believed him.
"Go on. You amaze me." Her sarcasm was like a cruel whip.
"It belongs to my owner."
"To your owner, huh? Sure it does. Y'know, a Porsche just like this one was reported missing a coupla days ago, only a few blocks from here. Same model, too. Different colour, but I suppose you could have had it painted in that time." She leaned in to the window, observing his face.
John began to sweat – an unfortunate reaction that would hardly attest to his innocence. He hated being questioned by these... these... (his mind screamed the word out for him)... these
bitches!
And it made it so much harder that he was forbidden by law to look away, to refuse to look a female in the eye, police officer or not.
Even though he had done nothing wrong John knew it would be difficult to justify himself. It always was. A male driving a Porsche alone through one of the richest neighbourhoods in the city? Of course that was suspicious! No male anywhere in the country could afford such a car – except maybe one of the high-class gigolos, or a Senator's household staff. Perhaps.
Unfortunately it would be up to him to prove his innocence.
The cop observed the nervous beads of sweat forming on John's forehead, the eyes that pleaded to look away only to return reluctantly to her face as the law demanded.
"Something bothering you, male?" she asked, her voice silken now, the purr of a cat that has cornered its prey. "Something making you nervous?"
"No, officer," John replied, the quaver in his own voice giving the lie to his words.
"Uh-huh. Can I see your ownership papers, please?"
John reached for the glovebox, but the cop stopped him.
"No, male. Not the ownership papers for the car.
Your
ownership papers."
"Oh. Of course officer." He reached into his pocket, pulled them out and handed them to the cop. Every male carried these on his person – a male found without them would be unable to explain his movements on the street, and would be liable for arrest and possible re-sale.
The cop looked them over, whistled in awe. "Wow. So your owner's a big deal, isn't she?"
"I... I guess so."
"A big television star! I guess that makes you think you're kinda special, huh? That you're a big deal too?"
It was the same old story. Police officers were not particularly well paid. To them, John was a pampered male pet who lived in luxury that they, perfectly healthy females, would never be able to afford for themselves. He understood their resentment –
this chattel probably lives better than I do! –
but that didn't make it any easier to endure.
"No, officer. I'm a nobody. Just a male on his way home to make dinner for his owner."
"Hmmm." John watched as her face crinkled slightly. A thought had just occurred to her. "Step out of the vehicle, male."
"Huh? Why?" John asked, bewildered. "It's all there in my ownership papers. You know officer, I really need to get back to the house and..."
"
Excuse me?
" she thundered, her voice full of disbelief. "Male, I have just given you a command. It is against the law to disobey a reasonable command from a female, as you well know – let alone the fact I am an officer of the law also! Step out of the car and explain yourself!"
Attempting to bury a sigh, John opened the door and stepped out onto the pavement. Immediately the cop's arms were around his shoulders, flipping him over hard until he was face to face with the black finish of the car's trunk.