'The room is dark and cold. I can barely see two feet in front of me but I know I'm not alone. Tiny whimpers and screams bounced off the walls and fill my ears. We are all too frightened to say anything or just too weak. I can't see her face but I can tell she is as terrified as I am by the way she is gripping my hand. Suddenly the door opens above us, gleaming light bursts through and all I can see is scared little girls. A man appears dressed in black and scans the room. Whimpers turn into fierce screaming but I can't scream for help. I want to scream for help but the man doesn't look like he intends to leed me to salvation. From above he grabs me and pulls me away from my friend. She holds on and I cry. We both cry. He pulls me towards the light but I know it isn't leading towards heaven.'
'Calm down.' Rachel said while holding her shaking hands. Chasity opened her blurry tear-filled eyes and gawked at her therapist. She cursed herself for having the same reaction every time but she couldn't help it. She couldn't control it.
'I'm sorry doctor.' Chasity said honestly with a shaking voice. Breathing heavily, she wiped the sweat from her brow. When she spoke about her dreams, she would always have the same reaction but her doctor didn't mind taking her from that awful place Chasity would get lost in.
'It's okay sweetheart. Have the dreams become more frequent since you left home?' Rachel asked, turning her attention back to the notepad.
'Yes doctor. They have become clearer and even more morbid but the same scene plays out. I don't know what to do? It's been going on for so long.' Chasity felt exhausted by the dreams. Almost every night she would wake up screaming and drenched in sweat. She didn't want to leave her loving parents' home but she needed to be independent. It seemed silly to Chasity, a young woman in her early twenties, living at home. She loved her parents with all her heart but she had to refuse when they asked her to stay.
'It is very important that you don't let the dreams affect your life. How is the studying going?'
'Good.' She lied. Being a full time student at a university one town over had its challenges already and her dreams allowed her little sleep and concentration. 'There are a few bumps in the road but I'm sure I can smooth them out.'
'That's great. Looks like our time is up for the day. Doris has your medication at the front desk. Chasity?' she asked peering over her yellow notepad. 'Yes?' Chasity answered.
'It's very important you take your medication. We don't want what happened last time to happen again. Please don't forget.' How could she forget? Rachel mentioned it every single time their sessions were over and called her mother to make sure she was taking them. She wondered if the doctor actually cared or if she did it for the paychecks?
The small town didn't seem all that busy today but it rarely did. The walk to Paul's house didn't take long but she hurried anyway. When he called her this morning he seemed troubled about something. Not only that but it was the first time she heard from him since the funeral.
'Come in quickly.' He said, shutting the door behind her. He was freaking out, which caused her to freak out too. 'What's wrong? What happened?' she asked frantically. He sat her down at the kitchen table, which he never did. They always sat in his living room. 'I need to ask the biggest favor.'
'Sure. You can ask me anything.' She said honestly. Paul was her best friend since she could remember. Anything he asked her, she would do in a hurry. 'I need you to help me find Shaun's murderer.' Except that.
'What the hell?' She asked furious and a bit confused. 'They said it was an accident Paulie. I know you're grieving but...'
Paul held her hands the same way her doctor did when she got nervous. 'Chas I need your help with this. We both know Shaun would never get in an accident. He knew that road like the back of his hand and when he took us out racing, he never crashed. I know what they said in the newspaper but I have a hunch.' He said trying to convince her. He did have a point. Shaun and Paul were thick as thieves. They were brothers after all. She remembered her days in high school when they would kick anyone's ass for messing with her. She was messed with a lot being the weird girl in school.
'Why don't you ask your buddies at the station, they did cover the case?'
'I couldn't convince them. After taking me off the case, they wouldn't tell me anything about it and they wouldn't let me interfere either. Please Chas. I need you. Don't you want to see Shaun's murderers behind bars?'
'Look I loved him too but...' she saw the hope in his brown eyes. The same look Shaun gave her every time he asked her for something. Her heart silently broke. 'Okay tell me about everything first before I get myself involved.'
'I knew you would say yes. A couple of months ago Shaun said he owed some people money. I didn't pay much attention until I remembered it a few weeks ago. The chief chased me out when I told him who Shaun owed money to.'
'Are they the same people who killed him?'
'Yes. The Cartel.'
Her body went numb. Of course! Only Shaun could be so stupid and get tangled with those people. She hurriedly pushed out of the leather stool, ready to walk out the door. She felt guilty for not giving Paul a chance. 'I can't get involved with the Cartel.'
'So you know them? Sit down I'm not done.' He said. She had to give him the benefit of the doubt. For Shaun's sake at least. It seemed like he had a solid point. 'Okay I have this theory. Maybe they cut the brakes of his car or something?"
'How are you planning on getting them to confess to killing him? I bet they got rid of the evidence already. I don't think we should mess with them.' She said, thinking rationally.
'These people are related to drug trafficking, prostitution and murder. If we catch them in the act of doing one of those things, it could mean a life sentence. We're not after the small guys Chas, we're going after the big dogs.' What the hell was he talking about? Suddenly the point he was making wasn't all that good. Getting involved with the Cartel could be fatal. 'You're studying to become a journalist. You know all the right questions to ask and I still have the equipment from work. They can see an undercover cop from a mile away. That's why I'm asking you this. How can it go wrong?'
'Are you shitting me? How can this go wrong?' she asked furious. He couldn't be serious. She's the one that's supposed to be insane, not him. 'They will kill us.'
The Cartel was one of the most feared drug companies in the world, notorious for their involvement in drug trafficking, prostitution and sex trafficking. Dark images flooded back from her past, knocking the wind from her lungs. Chasity gripped the bottle of pills in her pocket for strength. She couldn't take them in front of Paul.
'You will wear a wire and I'll be listening to the conversation. I already know a guy on the inside. You just need to remember the right questions to ask and that's it. I will be in the next room if anything happens.'
'I'm going to wear a wire and buy drugs. Why would they send the "big dogs" for a lousy bag?" she asked hoping it didn't sound like she was giving in to his demands.
'It's not going to be a bag. You're ordering a truck full.' He said nonchalantly. Utterly lost wasn't the best way to put it. She stood in the Sahara desert with a flashlight and a set of keys. She had no clue how to get out or navigate through the conversation. 'You will be protected. Please just think about this, think about Shaun.'
Chasity pushed open the door to her small apartment. Two brown coaches, a small TV and a plastic fern made up her living room. The place had a warm feel to it that she loved and it felt warmer than her family's overly spacious house with the white sterile carpets. She walked into the kitchen and popped a plate of Two-minute Noodles in the microwave. Making her way to the bathroom, she threw her shoes in the bedroom along the way.
The bathroom was nothing special. A shower, sink and toilet were only the essentials but she sometimes found herself missing her mother's tub with the Jacuzzi jets. Chasity ran the shower until the room filled with hot steam. Removing her baggy clothes and neatly folding and placing them on the sink took time but it was the usual routine.
The extremely hot water ran down her back washing away the day's stress. Taking the cinnamon scented shower gel, Chasity lathered up her pink loofa sponge. The soup bubbles dripped down the drain along with the hard day she had. Therapy never ended with a smile or a feeling relieved but it made her feel at ease. Talking about her past reassured her that it would remain in the past. Paul's deal was the furthest thing in her mind. She couldn't shake the memory of almost breaking in front of her friend. Chasity closed her eyes for a brief moment.
The face appeared before her, knocking her to the wall. His dark eyes and cynical smile took tragic blows to her stomach. He held tightly on her arm, his fingers wrapping all the way around, gripping so tight that she could feel the blood clump and bruise under her delicate skin.
Chasity rapt her hands around the shower rod to keep herself steady. Her eyes flung open in horror but she could still see him. Feeling his tight grip and hot breath was terrifying. The pills! Where did she leave the pills? She knew the bad man would disappear as soon as she swallowed one little pill.