Chapter 19 Dawn

I sigh as I swipe through the movie tiles. Nothing is catching my eye. Even in the comfort of First Class, I can't seem to induce sleep, so I was hoping to fill the time with a movie. After a few more swipes, I give up and yank off my earbuds.

As I do, my ears pick up a quiet giggle to my right. I turn to find the stewardess leaning in towards Ryan, both of them with grins on their faces. She's wearing a dark navy blazer, and her blonde hair is wrapped up into a tight bun.

He whispers something and she gasps with mock indignation. She lightly smacks him on the shoulder.

Another flight attendant walks by, and quickly mutters something to her. The flirty attendant nods and holds up a finger to Ryan before she ducks out of sight. Ryan sits back, smirking to himself.

I chuckle, which catches his attention. "What?" he asks innocently.

"Nothing." I shrug. "It's entertaining watching you flirt."

Ryan grins. "It's fun. I don't get to do it often with someone new or not a Client."

"Well, you didn't waste any time! We haven't even gotten to Vegas yet."

"It's important to warm up!" He strokes his beard. "You don't want to pull a muscle."

I chuckle again and turn back to my screen. Still a few hours left in the flight.

It's hard to believe that we're already going back to the Fetish Ball. Time seems to have no meaning in Eden. I wasn't exactly eager to go back to the event after what happened last year. But the rest of the group savors the opportunity to get out of Eden and change things up. Plus, I've been assured that there aren't things asked of me like last time. I can just enjoy the party like everyone else.

"Pssst!"

I blink back to reality, and look again to my right. It's Mari, leaning over Ryan to tap my arm.

"Ex-

cuse

me," Ryan protests. He contorts himself in his chair to try to get out of her way. "Can't you walk around to the other side?"

"Hush." Mari dismissively swats at him. She looks back at me. "If I forget, come talk to me later, 'kay? I've got a proposition for you!"

I frown at her suspiciously. "Oookay. Should I be concerned?"

She snickers. "Nah! Trust me!"

She recedes backwards, dragging her breast over Ryan's forehead.

"Hey!" he cries, recoiling.

"Oh, you love it!" Mari snickers and vanishes from view.

"Ughh." He wipes his brow, and combs his fingers through his hair.

"You two are a riot," I say.

"She's annoying!"

"Have you two ever hooked up?"

"What?!" He shudders with a grimace.

"C'mon. You two have such chemistry together. You've never even thought about it?" I inquire.

"No way." He frowns, looking at me. "Don't get me wrong. Mari's awesome. But we don't have that kind of connection. She's-- y'know-- my best friend."

"Is that how

she

feels?" I press further.

Ryan folds his arms together. "You can ask her. But I'm betting you she'll vomit at the suggestion."

I fall silent, giving up.

"Besides," he adds. "That's against, like, every rule. I'd be freaking crazy to even

think

about hooking up with someone in Eden."

***

The casino we check into on the Vegas strip is much different than last time. Whereas the previous resort had a subdued luxury, this one is all in-your-face glitz and glamor. The colors are black with shocks of magenta and accents of sparkling silver. Loud music thump through speakers, and there are balloons and disco balls everywhere.

I finish unloading my bags into my hotel room, and reconvene with everyone downstairs in the lobby. A contingent of the Talent want to hit the tables and gamble. It's mostly the guys, but also Mari and Julia.

Not feeling particularly keen on gambling, my eyes drift towards another pack of Talent off to the side. I hesitantly take a couple of steps in their direction.

Dawn, among that group, stands with her hand on her hip and taps her foot impatiently. She notices my awkward approach.

"Sup. What, you wanna come with us?" she asks me. "We're deciding on where to go to get a bite to eat, and then maybe some drinks after. You up for it?"

I scan across the group again. It's Dawn, Esther, Drew, and Roberta. They're Talent that I often see around Eden, but I've rarely ever spent time with. I feel a surge of social anxiety.

Dawn senses my hesitation, and grabs my arm. "White girl's coming with us, y'all!"

I'm caught off guard and speechless as I get pulled into the circle by Dawn. From the expressions on the rest of the group's faces, I can tell that they're not exactly ecstatic.

"Let's just check out that food court," Dawn proclaims.

She leads the entourage out of the lobby, further into the casino.

Her hair is braided into tight, thin strands that sway as she walks. Her gold jumpsuit sparkles, refracting light off her ample backside.

Behind her is Roberta, also African American, but much lighter in complexion than Dawn. Her curly, dyed blonde hair bounces as she confidently catwalks through the crowds. She always seems to be scowling, keeping people at bay from her.

Following Roberta is Esther, towering over everyone. Even in casual sandals, she breaks six feet tall. Her straight, black hair is extremely long, going down to the small of her back. I've always regarded her as intimidatingly hot. Her large breast and ass cheeks are perfect spheres. Despite her bountiful curves, she still comes off as fit. She garners a lot of attention from the men we pass. She stoically ignores all the leers, smiles, and feeble attempts to get her attention.

Behind them and next to me is Drew. Even with our impressive looking group, Drew seems to be the one who gets the most eyes. He looks like how I'd imagine a Greek god would look. Perfectly chiseled cheeks and jaw, toned physique but not muscular to the point of looking gross. However, his expression is always serene and peaceful. There's no hint of ego or arrogance. It's not what I would expect from someone so immaculately beautiful.

Nearly every woman I see casts their gaze on him, subtle or not. A nearby bridal shower loudly hoot and holler at him. Drew simply smiles and nods back at the party.

We proceed through the casino and up escalators into a shopping section. It's more like a mall crossed with a rave. It's astonishingly noisy. The other Talent laugh loudly to each other and point at products in the store windows as we walk. The place is bustling and so loud that I can't even make out their conversations.

As we continue on, the stores give way to a food court area. Instead of the cheap eats fare I was expecting, everything is the fancy versions of food. Wagyu burgers, gourmet fried chicken, New York pizza slices that are

authentic

yet somehow also from locally sourced ingredients. Although I have to admit, the smells were wonderful and enticing.

"Oh my god," I exclaim and inhale. "I think I need a burger in me. Right now."

Dawn snickers. "Go get it, girl."

Once armed with a tray containing a grass-fed beef cheeseburger, organic shoestring fries, and an artisanal root beer, I search for my party. They managed to secure a table, already crowded with pork belly bao buns, fish tacos, fried chicken, and a scattering of sides.

I join them, and dive blissfully into my burger. Esther cackles. "Jesus, just remember to breathe between bites!"

The group converses as they eat, but I'm too focused on my burger to absorb any of it. I savor every mouthful of the juicy, salty, artery clogging food. Soon, my tray is empty save for the greasy wrappers and dry soda bottle.

"Damn, Lisa!" Dawn utters.

Drew laughs. "You didn't like it, obviously."

I rub my already bloated-feeling tummy. "Man, I haven't eaten like that since I got to Eden. I mean, I know I can eat whatever I want whenever I'm out at my apartment, but it just never occurs to me."

There's a collective groan.

"Oh bitch," Dawn says, "don't even mention your apartment. That's a

very

sore subject."

"What?" I scan through their faces, taking in their annoyed expressions.

"You know not everyone gets that privilege. And you jumped the line before most of us," Dawn replies.

"Oh! Sorry, I didn't know that was a subject of controversy." I had known that apartments were not commonly handed out, but I didn't think how coveted they'd be.

Roberta snorts. "Jesus Christ. You cannot actually be as

clueless

as you look." She glares at me and then rolls her eyes.

Confounded, I suddenly feel the jitters of butterflies in my stomach. I open my mouth but am too shocked to say anything. Roberta had seemed annoyed about me joining them tonight, but this was outright vitriol.

Dawn holds out her hands. "Alright, let's just go and get some drinks. Esther?"

Esther blinks. "Oh yeah, there's some secret bar around here that someone was telling me about."

We all get up from our table and follow Esther, who investigates the area. I fall in line in the back, replaying the last few moments in my head.

After my transition, I was more confident and comfortable as myself than I ever remembered. For the first time, I felt beautiful and sought after. Moreso, I was surrounded by a group of people who were kind, warm, and supportive. But the last few minutes caused all of my old self doubts and anxiety to come flooding back through me.

Esther leads us around the food court a couple of times as she searches for her destination.

I continue to trail the group as I try to deduce the reason for Roberta's hostility. They all seemed pretty annoyed about the apartment, but that alone can't spark such a reaction, can it?

I contemplate just retreating back to my hotel room. Maybe I can do it quietly, without them even noticing.

As we loop around the seating area again, my eyes are drawn towards a group of guys ogling at Esther. They turn to chatter among themselves. A visual pops into my head of a flock of pigeons in a park hovering around someone with a piece of food. Ugh, no wonder so many of my Clients hate men.

As Esther passes the group's table, one of the guys cocks his arm back. His fingers splay wide as his hand begins to arc towards Esther's ass.

Without thinking, I lunge forward and grab the male's wrist.

"Don't!"

I yell.

People around us-- including the other Talent-- turn in our direction.

The male spins his face towards me, scowling. "What the

fuck,

bitch!"

He yanks his hand out of my grip, and jumps to his feet. To his surprise, I'm taller than him. He has closely shaved, dark hair, and a goatee. His black, plaid shirt is buttoned all the way up, but I can still see his gold necklace with a cross.

He tries to stare me down. His nostrils are flaring with his breath.

I look down at him, calmly. "I just saved you from doing something you were going to deeply regret. You're welcome."

He lifts his hand high over my head and points a finger down at me. "Mind your own business, cunt!"

With that, the entire area around us freezes. All the sound seems to suck into a vacuum. The guy invoked a very taboo word. Even his crew begin to shrivel back into their seats. In my periphery, I can sense the Talent squaring up around me.

All of my anxiety and insecurity evaporate away. In their place is seething anger. Anger that I desperately want to unleash onto this guy.

I smile coldly at him. "You see these heels?"

His eyes follow my finger as I point down to my black stilettos. The heels are five inches high, starting sharp and narrow before flaring towards the base. "I'm about to violently insert them all the way up your asshole, unless you sit down. Right now."

One of his friends taps the back of his hand against the man's thigh. The male holds his stare at me, but there's enough of a flicker that I can tell he's assessing the situation around him.

"Tsh," he lets out with a click of his teeth, and turns to sit back down at his table. "Skank ain't worth it," he quietly mutters.

A collective breath seems to let out as regular noise of the crowd returns to the area. I let out an exhale of my own as I realize my entire body had been clenched, ready to pounce. I shake out my hands as adrenaline works its way through me.

"Fucking A, Lisa," Drew offers, with a chuckle.

Esther hooks her hand through the crook of my arm. "That was for my benefit?"

She pauses for a second, before smiling.

"That was pretty cool." She leans in, and kisses me on the cheek.

A small grin sits on Dawn's face. She gives me a long blink in apparent approval. Roberta diverts her eyes away from me, looking unimpressed.

"We definitely need drinks now," Drew declares. "Esther, does this place actually exist?"

Esther lets out an indignant grunt. "Ay güey, I'm looking, slut! Gimme a minute!"

She resumes her search, with me in tow. Finally, we come across a part of the wall that hinges inward.

Inside is a dark space that is lit by red lights, casting everything and everyone in a crimson hue. The bar is tiki themed. Fake fireplaces and backlit stained glass depictions of sandy beaches are the only other sources of light. Smoke billows out from several spots.

Despite being a

secret

bar, the small space is packed with patrons. We squeeze our way through the crowd and find an unoccupied circle of short stools. We sit so close that our knees bump against each other.

Esther glances at Roberta and then me, and gives an exaggerated nod. "Oookay, booze. Now. Drew! Go get us drinks." She jerks her head towards the bar.

Drew sits up straight. "Why does it have to be me?"

"You're the gentleman. Be all chivalrous and shit," Esther retorts.

Drew gives her a look and huffs, but stands up.

Esther groans. "Ayyye! Fine, you whiny whore. I'll go with you." She rises off her stool, and they both navigate their way through the mass of bodies.

The bar is loud. Dawn leans in towards me, but still has to shout. "That was cool what you did for Esther. I hope that wasn't just for show to get on our good sides."

I let out an exasperated sigh, and toss my hands up. "Of course not. But what do you want from me? Should I leave?"

I stand up and shrug.

"Sit the fuck down! Christ alive," Dawn barks. I comply.

Dawn crosses her legs, and rests her chin on her hand. "Look, I'm not trying to hate on you. I'm trying to let you know that your attitude towards us before just didn't come off great. It never seemed like you made any effort to get to know any of us."

Roberta makes a flicking motion with her fingers. "You were fine off with your little Brady Bunch and your

Holier Than Thou

attitude."

I begin to protest, but recall some of Lily's past accusations towards me. Jomi too. His criticisms caught me by surprise. I feel like I always make an effort to be nice to everyone, but clearly the perception of me isn't what I thought. Do I come off as fake? Or conceited?

The loud music prompts my heart to thump louder and faster. The people crowding around and over us stirs up a sense of claustrophobia. Everyone's faces look demonic from the red lighting. It's my worst nightmare. I try to keep my focus on the two across from me.

"Okay ..." I try to talk without my voice wavering. "I hear you. I'm sorry that's how I came across. But that was not my intention." I feel like I'm yelling hysterically.

"Also," I add, "it's not like any of you came up to talk to

me.

It's a two way street, right?"

"Ahhh," Roberta sneers, "we're to blame. Fucking typical."

"No!

Look-- I'm not an extrovert," I say to her. My blood rises. I feel like my skin wants to jump off of my body.

"I'm not the type of person who will seek out others. I don't just walk up to people and start talking. Especially in new or uncomfortable situations. I'll just kind of shrink into myself or go hide in a corner. Coming into Eden, I was scared shitless! My instinct-- right or wrong-- was to keep to myself. I'm not saying it's cool, but it's not like I was deliberately dissing you."

I look back and forth between them pleadingly. Dawn seems to soften. She looks over at Roberta, who reacts to her with a glare.

"Well," Dawn says, her eyes still trained on Roberta as she turns to me, "there's something else. When you started taking on Clients, you poached some of Berta's. That's kind of a big no no for Talent."

"I didn't know." I look at Roberta.

"I didn't know!"

She scoffs. "Again-- clueless."

"You want them back?" I offer.

Roberta recoils and scowls. "Bitch, I don't want your sloppy second rejects."

My anxiety begins to turn into frustration. "Roberta, I didn't have any say in who my Clients were. And if I did, I wouldn't have knowingly wanted to take yours or anyone else's."

My voice becomes more forceful. I look directly at her. "I had no intention of doing anything offensive to any of you. But okay-- I'll own up to my role in it. So I apologize, Roberta. I'm

sorry.

I'm sorry for wronging you, even if it was by me being clueless. What can I do now, Roberta? How do I do right by you?"

Roberta side-eyes me skeptically. Dawn leans towards her. "Berta, it's been a year. You got new Clients now."

Roberta frowns at her for a moment. Eventually, she rolls her eyes and sweeps her arm in a wide wave.

"Fine!

We good."

Dawn cocks an eyebrow at her. Roberta tilts her head in response. "I'm

good,

alright? I can't switch it off instantly, but I'll get there." She turns to me. "We're all good. 'Kay?!"

I lean back and let out a shaky breath.

At this moment, Esther returns, balancing two handfuls of colorful drinks. "Frozen cocktails for everyone!"

Drew sits down next to her as they survey our faces. "We still all angry and shit?" Esther asks.

Dawn snickers. "Nah, we cleared out the bad blood. Right?" She looks at Roberta and me. We both reply with weak grunts.

Esther glances over at me. "Okay, good. Well, let's do some shots! Drew!"

Drew does a double take at her. "What the hell? Me again?! I just sat back down!"

Esther waves dismissively at him. "Fine, we'll just get some boys to buy us some."

She whips her head around, and taps the shoulder of a nearby guy. He turns around and smiles in delight at the sight of her.

"Hey!" she yells at him. "Wanna get us a round of shots?"

***

After reluctantly gulping down a tequila shot, I hear a loud cackle behind me.

"Wassup, fools? Making trouble?" Mari appears and takes the seat next to me. She slaps my thigh.

"What are you doing here?" Dawn asks. "I thought you were hitting the tables with the others."

"I lost it all." Mari shrugs with a grin. "I went all in on a hand. Dealer had a freaking black jack. I mean, it's all rigged, right?!"

The group lets out an assembly of groans and laughs.

"Then I texted Esther to see where y'all were." She exchanges glances at me and the others. "You getting along?"

"Lisa is Esther's muscle now," Drew replies, grinning.

Esther holds a hand up to Drew. "I don't need no muscle, 'kay?"

Mari lays her head onto my shoulder. "See? I told you Lisa's cool. Jomi's been saying it too!"

"Jomi's a sucker for anyone with a pair of titties," Dawn retorts.

I look around as everyone chuckles in agreement.

Roberta laughs. "Men are so fucking weak."

Everyone nods. Except Drew, who seems to be trying his best to look invisible. I know that feeling.

Mari grabs Drew's drink and takes a swig. He does a double take in protest, but shakes his head in resignation. Mari snickers and elbows me in the arm a couple of times, grinning. Drew turns to Esther to try to steal her drink. They swat at each other's hands a few times as Mari and I watch.

"So, you wanted to talk to me about something?" I prompt.

"Oh right!" Mari settles into her stool. "So yeah, I've got family in SF. They've been giving me shit for a while now about coming back to visit. I just figure that we're already in Vegas, so it'd be a short hop and a skip to knock out some time with the fam."