"Hurry up!" Mistress Lily barks. I catch up to her, while juggling my bag and trying to screw the top to my water bottle.
"Hey," I retort, "I'm not sitting on a plane for hours without water."
"They have water on planes, you know," Mistress Lily huffs. "They somehow managed to solve that big conundrum years ago. We're boarding."
"What? Already?" I look at my ticket. "We're Group One!"
Mistress Lily tilts her head at me, with an annoyed gaze. I'm too elated to be dimmed by it. "I've only ever been in like Group Six or whatever is the last to go. This is great!"
I study my ticket again. "Holy shit, we're First Class?!"
"Lower your voice!" she hisses at me, looking around. "Jesus, try not to act like a complete hillbilly yokel!"
"Sorry, Mistress."
"And don't call me
Mistress
in public," she whispers forcefully. "You can just call me Lily."
We board the plane, and I'm astonished at our seats. They take up the entire middle row, just the two of ours. The seats recline all the way flat, and I can stretch out my legs without even touching the back of the seat in front of me. There are pillows, blankets, and bottles of water already waiting for us.
As we settle in, an attendant approaches us with a tray of plastic cups. "Champagne?" I look over at Lily, who is completely over my wonder at everything luxury.
"Thank you," Lily tells the attendant, grabbing a cup for each of us.
I pick up a slip of paper. It's a menu for our in-flight meal. I resist the urge to comment to Lily for fear of further exasperation from her. I read down the menu choices. Salmon, chicken breast, and steak! I shake my head. The attendant returns and takes our orders. I opt against the salmon, unsure about seafood on an airplane, so I ask for the steak.
After we take off, the attendant presents us with trays. As she places one in front of me, I'm let down to see that she brought me salmon sitting on top of salad. I don't want to make a big deal out of the incorrect order, so I quietly accept the meal. I was so hungry that I end up finishing it off. Plus it's actually pretty tasty!
I'm stunned when the attendant takes my empty tray and replaces it with a new steaming tray-- it's the steak I ordered! I scoff loud enough for Lily to hear.
"What?" she asks, pulling out an earphone.
"It's nothing," I shake my head. "It's just that I thought that the salmon with salad was the entire meal, not the appetizer."
She laughs and replaces the earphone back in her ear.
***
"Gah!" Lily jumps as we step out of the airport and into the Vegas evening. "It's freezing! What the hell? It's got to be forty degrees! I thought this was the desert!" She clutches her jean jacket tighter.
"Didn't you check the weather?" I ask, as I unfurl my puffy coat from my bag. I point at her jacket. "Is that all you brought?"
She shoots me a menacing look. I decide that it might be best for my personal wellbeing to remain silent while we wait for the Uber.
Lily begins shivering violently. Her arms are folded up tightly at her chest.
"Oh for crying out loud," I sigh, as I grab her and pull her into my coat. She huddles in close as she continues to shake.
"Are your teeth chattering? I thought only cartoons did that."
"Oh shut up!" Her hair whips in my face. I can smell her hair product.
The Uber arrives, and we're shuttled to a fancy hotel on the Strip. We check in, and have our bags carried.
On our way to the elevators, Lily exclaims, "I need a drink! To warm me up. The bellboys can take our bags up first."
We detour to the bar. There are TVs everywhere showing sports. It's about half full of people, mostly middle-aged men. We take a pair of empty stools at the bar.
"I'll have a vodka martini, dirty," Lily tells the bartender, and then nods to me.
"Gin and tonic?" I say.
Lily scoffs. "What a lady drink!"
"Shut up!"
Our drinks arrive shortly. We clink a silent cheers and take a sip. "Ahhhh," Lily exhales, "much better." She looks at me. "You should try a real drink." And scoots her glass over.
I take a sip. My mouth feels overwhelmed with the taste of alcohol. My face scrunches into a frown. I breathe out hotly.
"How do you drink that?" I choke. She laughs and takes her drink back.
"Heyyy
ladies!" we hear from behind us. Lily and I turn to see a white man with pompadour cut blonde hair and a bearded black man next to him. Both are smiling with very white teeth. They look like the types of douchebags that are in finance or tech. "What are you in town for?"
"Buzz off, wanker." Lily waves him away.
The black man rolls his head to the side and turns away. The white man scowls, and also starts to turn while muttering, "Stuck up bitch."
"What the
fuck
did you say?!" I yell, much more loudly than I expected. I'm as surprised as everyone in the vicinity, with all eyes turning towards us. Even Lily observes me with shock.
But I'm furious. My mind floods with horror stories from just about every woman I know, in which they had to fend off creeps and assholes. Usually, the rejections are treated with condemnation and judgement. It's always lose-lose for the women. And here I get to see it firsthand. My blood boils.
"Learn to tell when a woman doesn't want to have anything to fucking do with you!" I continue. "Hint-- that's all the fucking time!"
"Hey, fuck you, bitch!" the white bro shoots back.
"Eat a bag of dicks, you Johnny Bravo wannabe!" I shout.
The guy's face turns red. His eyes ignite in fury. But before he has a chance to say anything back, his friend grabs him and pushes him towards the exit. "Jesus, Dave! C'mon! We just got here!"
Lily bursts out laughing.