"Before I ask for a story, I have a National Nude Day story," said Stan. "This is something that is close to my heart, albeit my black heart and something that I have been planning for a long time. It relates to the category of Non-Consensual and Reluctance."
"That's always a good category," said Sam. "I'll never forget the time I tied up my neighbor's wife when we were all drunk out of our minds and stripped her before—"
"Shh, another time, Sam, please. I have the floor."
"Sorry Stan."
"Well, as you all know, I'm officially divorced, finally, but not before my wife and her mother took everything, the house, the car, the boat, my savings, a portion of my retirement, and even the dog. I'm gonna miss that dog, poor Buster. It was a long and bitter divorce with my mother-in-law involved up to her neck the whole way."
"Oh, boy," said Nick. "Mother-in-law stories are always good."
"Well, for those of you who have met my wife know that she is busty, an understatement. She has a D cup and her mother has a double D cup. Tits run in her family. Her grandmother had big knockers and my daughter has huge hooters, too. You can't attend one of our family gatherings without accidentally grabbing, I mean, feeling, I mean brushing against tits," said Stan with a dirty laugh.
"PMS! PMS! PMS!"
"Having big tits is nothing to be ashamed about, Stan. Think of all the money the women in your family save on breast implants and floatation devices. Besides, maybe your daughter will make you proud by getting a job as a stripper to pay her way through college."
"A Dad can only hope," said Stan.
"Tits! Tits! Tits! Tits! Tits! Tits!"
"Okay, guys quiet down. Stan has the floor," said Sam.
"Also, for those who know both my ex-wife and ex-mother-in-law know that they are churchgoing women, upstanding members of the community, and very modest, which is probably why I'm the pervert that I am today. Because of being married to my wife all those years, I have all this pent up frustration and repressed sexuality. Also, no doubt, being a pervert is the reason for our divorce because, apparently, she told me on more than one occasion that I and my behavior was an embarrassment to her family."
"Hey, I'm proud to be a pervert," said Nick.
"Me, too," said Ed.
"PMS! PMS! PMS!"
"My wife, much like Eddie's wife, never went for nudity and never undressed before turning out the light. It was a rare occasion that I ever caught a glimpse of her big tits."
"Damn shame," said Dave. "There's nothing worse than a good set of tits going to waste and not being used, stared at, caressed, felt, sucked, and worshipped."
"I couldn't tell you the arguments we'd have because I'd want her to wear something sexy and something that showed off her cleavage. Nope, no way, she'd button her blouse all the way to the top button. She could have been a Nun, but Nuns have more sex than she gave me," said Stan with a bit of remorse in his voice.
"PMS! PMS! PMS!"
"I never met your wife, Stan," said Hal, "but she sounds like she has some serious sexual issues. It's been my experience that many large breasted women were sexually abused."
"She sounds like a woman that I'd like to abuse," said Dave.
"Yeah, it sounds like you guys are on the opposite ends of the spectrum there and needed to meet somewhere in the middle," said Sam.
"Well, yeah, it's too late for reconciliation. Besides, I never understood her modesty. She always thought she was fat. I thought she was perfect. She's a few pounds overweight, but she's not obese or anything. She has a decent body and so doesn't her mother. It's in the genetic makeup for the women in her family to be a little chubby. She's more voluptuous than she is fat. I like a woman with some meat on her bones."
"This is beginning to smell like a revenge story, Stan," said Dave.
"It is, Dave," said Stan.
"What's that saying, revenge is a dish best served to your cold ex-wife and her bitch of a mother or something like that," said Hal.
"My ex-wife's mother has been going through the change, you know, PMS hormone shit. If she wasn't crazy before, she's loony now. Definitely, she needs a man in her life to pull her down from the ceiling sometimes. She needs to get laid to calm her the fuck down."
"If you're asking for a volunteer, I'm your man," said Sam.
"PMS! PMS! PMS!"
"Yeah, well, not that kind of PMS, but you get my meaning. Suddenly, she has turned into a daredevil or sorts. Either that or she has a death wish. She bought a motorcycle, took up scuba diving, and recently went skydiving," said Stan.
"No offense, Stan, but I'd like to see your mother-in-law and her double D tits squeezed so much like toothpaste in a wetsuit."
"No offense taken, Nick, and yes, it's a sight to behold. Looking so much like an older version of Raquel Welch, the first time I saw her, I wanted to pull the zipper of her wetsuit down with my teeth and gobble up her monstrous tits."
"Raquel Welch. There's a memory," said Eddie. "I wonder what happened to her."
"She got old," said Hal. "She's got to be close to seventy. Angelina Jolie replaced her, that is, until Brad knocked her up with twins. Jessica Alba is the next big thing."
"Anyway, back to my story. My ex-wife, much like her mother, never went anywhere alone, which is another reason why we are no longer together. Wherever she went, her mother followed. You never saw one without the other. They were always together. Attached at the hip, they could have been sisters, twin sisters. She even brought her mother along with us when we vacationed."
"Boy, do I have a story about twin sisters," said Hal.
"Later Hal," said Stan.
"I always wanted to try skydiving, naked skydiving," said Ed.
"Thanks for the image, Ed," said Dave. "And I don't mean that in a good way."
"Yeah, well, because my ex-mother-in-law wanted to try skydiving, my wife skydived with her. My wife rode piggyback on my ex-mother-in-laws motorcycle. The things that my wife should have been doing with me, she did with her mother."
"It's always been a fantasy of mine to ride piggyback on a hog with a woman who has big tits. Definitely, I'd have plenty to hold on to and grab should we take a turn too fast," said Sam. "Please forgive the interruption, Stan."
