I am broken. The realization that I've now been held captive for a month sinks in slowly but comes on suddenly as I track these impossibly similar days through the fog of my memory. Emerald has been distant and yet he is not cold in his distance. He is within my reach but that would have to be my decision to reach out to him. I don't. Instead, I sink into loneliness. It is a chasm that has swallowed me leaving nothing but the shifting of light and shadows on the bare walls of his basement. Still, it has been nearing a week without his touch, his warmth, or his conversation. At first I had settled into my punishment with glee. Then the isolation sinks in and wears me down like a stone in a steady current.
Emerald entered the room to set down my tray of food. I still eat all of it to avoid his punishments, the sick taking me later and rendering me a quivering ball of pain. I entertain myself as much as possible by remembering tales from movies and books, but it is hard to remember all of the details as I stare at empty walls. I sing songs sometimes. My voice is scratchy and I can't hold a tune, but my mind remembers the sound well even though I stumble over ill-remembered words. Sometimes I think I hear Emerald outside the basement door, listening to me. I stop when I believe he is nearby. I hate my voice. Always have. It had gotten better after it dropped during my transition, but the feeling of discomfort never has gone away.
I stare at him as he moves with purpose. I long for him to speak to me but I say nothing. I swallow the silence and hold my head high. He pretends not to notice or care. I bite my lip but I feel the irritation growing within me. A restlessness that makes me tap my ring finger against my thumb in order to get out some of the energy. It isn't enough. Suddenly I am up and moving toward him, the chain around my leg rattling as it moves over the bed. I stalk toward him and stand with my hands on my hips, eyes glaring up at him as I now stand between him and the door.
I still say nothing. I dare him with my actions. He sighs and shakes his head. Sitting down on the bed he casually breaks the silence. "Well?"
"Well what?" I say, my voice scratchy from disuse. It feels strange to speak again after such a long silence.
"Well what do you want? You're being petulant." He said, eyes scanning me now to gauge my anger.
"I am not. I am just tired of this game, Emerald." I am tired of it. I don't want to play with his silent-treatment anymore. I wanted to at least have someone to speak to here.
"Have you learned to behave?" Emerald said haughtily.
I bite my lip in response, biting back sarcasm. "Yes."
"I don't believe you have." He says, leaning back on the bed and now eyeing me hungrily. The shift was rapid. I now wished I wore more than black boxers. I swallowed my pride as I knew he would soon make requests of me that would test my ability to take orders. I approached him and then knelt at his feet, hands on thighs as I looked up at him, my hazel eyes meeting his deep green. He is handsome, I think. I tell myself to look at the man as he is and not as the monster he has shown himself to be.
"I am ready to behave and obey." I nearly choke on the last word as I try to keep my voice seductively low. I need him to believe me, but more than that I worry that my obedience will wear me down further till I have fallen deeper into his trap. What a seductive trap it was. Be a good boy and live without any of the worries of life. Here, at least, there was no shitty slumlord stealing my paycheck. No horrible office manager making a wage slave of me. I didn't have to worry about the outside world as it fell into wars, famine, and disease. I wanted to believe it was better here, but alas there was no freedom. I remain, as ever, a slave to another.
Emerald grinned at me then leaned forward to tousle my curly brown hair. It was now longer than when I first was captured. It felt like heaven to be touched by another person, even him. I closed my eyes and savored the feeling of his fingers combing through my wild dark hair. He stoped and stroked my cheek. His voice was husky when he spoke again. "Good boy."
I want to be a good boy, to be his good boy. I want to hear him say it again and praise me. It feels so nice to finally be acknowledged. Even so, the shame trickles down within me and I know for certain he has broken me. Not fully, but I am now weak to him just as he wanted. Emerald speaks again. "Do you know what it takes to be a good boy and obey?"
"Yes." I pause and then decide to lay it on thick. "Yes Sir. I will listen to your every word and endeavor to fulfill your every desire."
Emerald's grin was genuine and radiant as he began to stroke my hair again. "That's right."
"What do you desire?" I asked cautiously, unable to hide the reservations I felt at asking the question and quickening the inevitable.
Emerald's eyes glittered as he stroked my lower lip with his thumb. Catching my chin, he tilted my face up so that I was looking into his verdant eyes. "I want you to suck my cock. If you do a good job then I'll reward you."
I nodded in response and sat up on my knees and began to rub his thighs. They were muscular beneath his jeans. Licking my lips I looked down to his crotch which was already bulging with a partial erection. I rubbed it through the rough fabric as my other hand unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. He watched with anticipation and a look of satisfaction. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from saying something I'd later end up regretting.
Pulling his cock free of his jeans I was once again surprised by the size of it. Still pushing forward and eager to free myself from isolation, I licked the head of his cock. He stroked my hair in approval as I moved my lips over his cock and sucked the head gently, swirling my tongue around the sensitive head. Emerald groaned and leaned back on an elbow, his hand still running through my curly hair. I pulled away, the tip of his cock slipping from my mouth and bopping me on the cheek as I moved to kiss and suck his shaft. I wanted this to be over soon so I used my skill, knowing that he'd be easier to deal with after he'd cum.
Dipping my head lower I licked his balls and sucked one into my mouth. A tingling feeling shot through my belly as he pulled my hair and moaned. I once again moved my mouth to the tip of his cock and wetly sucked it into my mouth. I was ready to begin the real work of sucking his cock. Taking him in inch by inch, I massaged the underside of his cock with my tongue as I worked my way down his shaft till my tongue was nearly massaging his balls again. I held back a gag as he entered my throat and eased up on his cock. I began to suck and bob my head up and down on his cock.
Emerald's grip in my hair tightened and he began to move my head for me, forcing his cock further down my throat as I struggled to continue sucking. He moaned as he throat fucked me and I felt his muscles tense and balls tighten as he neared orgasm. I closed my eyes tight against the tears that were forming as he tested my gag reflex again and again. Then, without warning, he bucked his hips and shot his hot load down my throat as I swallowed.
"Good boy." He gasped, out of breath. Emerald released his hold on my hair and I slumped back down to sitting on my knees. He looked down at me with admiration, now satisfied.
"Thank you." I said quietly while trying to distract myself from the bitter salty taste on my tongue.
"Eat your dinner then we'll talk about your reward." Emerald said, motioning to the tray of food. I didn't feel like eating after that but didn't want to start a fight after I'd just gotten on his good side.
"Yes Sir." I stood on wobbly legs, pins and needles in my feet, and began my meal.
