As soon as I understand his words, I pull my knees up to my chest, cross my arms on top and hide my face in my little cocoon. I cry hysterically,
if he hurts me one more time, I think I'll die, I can't take it anymore... his violence.
I get flashbacks of being in that room again.
Keeping my head down, I choke out, "Please Jamie... I can't do this anymore... you're ruining my life... I haven't even done anything wrong to you... please... you rather just kill me and get it over with... because I can't live like this... with you!"
I sob as if I'm about to die.
"Skylar" he whispers.
I don't look up, "You lied to me; you said you couldn't handle hurting me again." I weep.
He crouches in front of me, "Sky please look at me." he says concerned and places his hand on my crossed arms. I lift my head up slowly and look at him.
The devastation is clear on my face, he swallows, "I wasn't lying about not hurting you again but I also meant what I said, you are mine. I want to know who is he and what does he mean to you?"
I stare at him,
why am I his?
"Answer me, Sky." he says quietly, his hand touching my moist warm cheek.
I bit on my bottom lip and look into his eyes. The gentle touch of his hand on my skin causes goose bumps throughout my entire body, I breath faster,
why is this happening to me?
Releasing my lip from the grasp of my teeth, "I will answer you if you promise to answer a question of mine." I say.
"I promise." he replies seriously
"I have known Reese since I was eleven, he is my best friend, it isn't what you think... I didn't want to be alone, I needed someone to numb the pain." I whisper. He looks at me for a while than stands up and walks away from me.
It's my turn
, "You're getting married, why would you do this to me?"
He stands by the door and faces me. He seems annoyed by my question but still answers, "It's quite simple, I'm a bastard Sky... Edith and I are getting married but when I saw you, I knew you are exactly what I want, it didn't matter whether I was engaged or not, I had to have you so I took you."
That's what I thought,
"So my feelings doesn't matter, what I want doesn't matter, you are just selfish, is that what you're saying?"
"Yes" he answers.
"And when you're married, how am I still yours?"
"You will always be mine" he replies calmly
Oh for the love of... Is he high?
"What do I have to do to get you out of my life!?!" I yell in frustration and put my head back down.
His reply is instant, "Submit yourself to me."
Huh,
"What?" I ask confused and look up
"I want you to give yourself to me. I want you willing and at my bidding." he stops, "I don't want you to fight me Sky... I want to know what it would feel like if you wanted me." he says warily.
I swallow, his expression is absolute longing. "For how long?"
"A week." he replies.
A week!
"Then I'll never see you again... I can quit and you won't destroy my career?" I inquire curiously.
"You will never see me again if that's what you decide, I won't interfere."
I furrow my eyebrows, "How do I know you not lying again?",
I don't trust you.
"You can tell Edith if I go against our arrangement." he says seriously.
I cringe at that word,
arrangement,
this is just another business deal to him and I have to let him use my body in exchange for a life free of him. I feel the tears well up again.
What choice do I have, he's gonna have his way anyway.
I take a deep breath and stand up,
let's do this shit,
"I accept." I say firmly. His eyes widens.
I walk forward and shove him against the door. I grip onto his t-shirt and pull him down to my face. I kiss him forcefully, tears rolling down my cheeks. He holds onto my waist and kisses me back, even more forceful.
After a while he pulls away from me and takes a breath. "Let's do it the way you want to." he whispers.
Seriously! This is a first,
"I want the music on." I reply,
to distract myself from what I'm about to do.
He nods at me,
urgh granting me permission.
I leave his hold and walk to my iPod dock. I take a while choosing the song, trying to prolong the inevitable. I skim through the song list,
sad and depro, that would help me lose myself.
He comes up behind me and I quickly select,
Sia's My Love,
he holds on my hips and pulls me against him, "Good choice." he breathes in my hair,
why is that?
"What next?" he asks.
"Our clothes... we should... um... take our... clothes off" I struggle to get out.
He turns me around, "Do it then." he whispers gruffly, staring at me intensely.
He walks backwards and sits on the bed, looking at me intently, "Strip for me." he demands softly.
What!?!
I look at him annoyed;
he's going to make this difficult for me.
I turn up the volume of the music and walk near the bed,
a week Sky, that's all, you can do this.
I step out of my sneakers and kick it aside. I unzip my dress at the side and slide it off my shoulders, letting it drop to the floor. I stand awkwardly in my white lacy bra and panties, looking at the ground. I hear his sharp intake of breath and look up at his face. He looks like he's about to eat me. I shiver a little.
"Come here." he says hoarsely, his eyes are dark. I step closer to him and he reaches out and grabs my hand, pulling me in between his knees, his face is level with my chest. He leaves my hand and cups my left boob, rubbing the lace against my sensitive nipple with his thumb. I feel my nipples stiffen further under the fabric of my bra,