It was a lovely Saturday afternoon and I was in trouble. Well, I wasn't in trouble yet but I would be by this time tomorrow if I didn't get to work right now. I was trying to figure out exactly how to get to work when Nicky arrived.
"Hey, Mish, why the long face?"
"Hi, Nicky," I said despondently. "Um you know my parents have been on that cruise?"
"Yeah."
"Well, they get home tomorrow and before they left I swore I'd keep the house and garden looking immaculate."
"From what I've seen of the house recently you've succeeded there," Nicky answered.
"And?" I prompted.
"The garden might need a bit of work," she admitted. "It's not that bad though. The garden beds are in good order and the lawn in mainly mowed. All you need to do is finish mowing the middle section of the lawn and use a whipper snipper to go around the bottom of the fences and you're done."
"And how am I supposed to mow the lawn?" I asked.
Nicky gave me an odd look. "Ah, with your motor mower?" she suggested.
"Which broke down when I reached the point I'm now at," I snapped.
"Oh. Your mechanical kiss of death. Has it got fuel?"
"It's electric. It just suddenly stopped and won't start again."
"Well, tell your dad that and he'll understand. I mean, a little bit of mowing will wait until he can get the mower fixed. Just do the edges."
I gave her a nasty look and she sighed.
"OK. What did you do to the whipper snipper?"
"I did nothing. It just doesn't want to work for me. It's an evil piece of machinery. Try it yourself."
I nodded to where I'd left the whipper snipper leaning against the fence and Nicky strolled over and picked it up. She turned it on to be met by the sounds of silence.
"OK. That's bust, too. Still, your dad can't blame you for the fact that they've both broken down."
"Don't you bet on it. He did the lawn and edges last thing before they left and everything worked fine. It's just for me that they won't work."
"I suppose you could always use the hand clippers for the edges. Even you can't break a pair of scissors."
"But that will take all day," I wailed. "My back will be breaking from crawling around clipping the edges. How about you grabbing your father's whipper snipper so I can use that."
"Um, sorry, but no. He'd kill me if I did and you broke it."
"I wouldn't break it. Honest."
"Yeah, and I bet you said something similar to your dad before he left."
I blushed at that because I had. Oh, I was so dead.
"All you really need to do is get rid of the long grass around the edges," Nicky said thoughtfully. "I know how we can do that."
"You do?"
"Sure. It's easy. You know how hot and dry it's been. We'll just set fire to the edges, standing next to it with the hose so we can squirt it if it looks like getting away."
"That's not a bad idea," I admitted, considering the situation. "Especially if we soak the edges of the lawn a little so it can't spread in that direction."
"What's more, even you can't break a hose," Nicky rather rudely pointed out.
We quickly got to work. I lit the grass while Nicky sprayed the actual lawn, and then we started walking along next to the fire that was burning quite merrily. I was actually starting to feel a little nervous as it seemed to me that it was burning too merrily and could easily get out of hand.
It appeared that was Mr Henderson's opinion, too. Mr Henderson is the man who lives next door. He's a largish man of about forty, currently single as his wife died of a heart attack. (Brought on by over-eating in my opinion. She'd been fat with a capital F.) He has two children of about my age and I get on well with them.
He came swarming over the fence, grabbed the hose off Nicky, and soaked the ground immediately in front of the fire so that it ran out of fuel. Then he walked back along the section that had burned, soaking that as well, swearing the whole time.
Satisfied that the fire was so completely out that there wasn't even a shred of smoke left he tossed the hose to one side and turned to look at us.
"I'd call you a pair of imbeciles but you're probably too dumb to know what the word means. What the hell did you think you were playing at?"
"We were just burning off the edges," snapped Nicky. "That doesn't make us stupid. We had the whole thing under control. We made sure that the fire could only run along the long grass at the bottom of the fences."
"Oh, really? And how did you manage that incredible feat? You're a fire talker or something?"
"We soaked the edge of the lawn." Nicky wasn't backing off at all. Personally I'd have been offering apologies because Mr Henderson looked mad. "That was quite enough to stop the rest of the grass catching."
"Oh, well done," was the sarcastic rejoinder. "Tell me, do you know what normally burns in a grass fire?"
"Grass." Nicky obviously considered that a no-brainer.
"And?" he prompted.
"Um, sticks and stray scraps of wood," I suggested.
"You mean like wooden fences?" he asked, and I gave a horrified gasp when I saw the charred marks along the bottom of some of the palings.
He gave that a moment or two to sink in and then started in on us again.
"I can understand Nicky coming up with this sort of suggestion as she's always been a bit scatter-brained, but really Michelle, what on earth prompted you to go along with it."
"It wasn't that dangerous." It was my turn to be obstinate. I don't know why. I was just being contrary I guess.
"Really? Do you want to explain that to the Judge when he asks why you were lighting grass fires on a day of total fire ban?"
I felt sick. A quick glance at Nicky showed that she felt the same way. She rallied pretty quickly though.
"It's not a day of total fire ban," she snapped.
"Oh? And you know this because?"
"It's not hot enough and it's far too early in the season. It's still only spring."
"But did you check?"
Well we hadn't and that was pretty obvious from our reactions. We were both giving him nasty looks, feeling rather hard done by, which was stupid seeing we were the ones at fault. I guess when you're guilty you don't like being caught out.
"Alright. So you rushed in and saved the day," Nicky said snidely. "You can now feel free to rush away and do your hero act somewhere else."
Really, that girl's mouth is going to get her into trouble one of these days. It turned out that this was the day.
"You do like pushing things to the limit, don't you," observed Mr Henderson, reaching out and taking hold of her arm. "Why don't you come over here for a moment while I explain something to you?"
He calmly strolled over to the house with Nicky going with him, like it or not. I naturally tagged along behind. He sat down on the yard bench we had near the back door and without so much as a by-your-leave he hoicked Nicky across his knee, face down, bum up.