We all have to make compromises . . . some are just easier to live with than others are.
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Brooklyn and I had been friends since grade school. We grew up, graduated high school and college, married wonderful men and fully expected to live happily ever after . . . or so we thought.
Though we had continued as close and caring friends for all of that time, it wasn't until the birth of her second child did Brooklyn confide in me a secret she had kept for a long time. I'm not sure why she finally felt compelled to share her secret with me, but when she did, it was as if she couldn't hold the truth any longer and had to tell someone she trusted, someone who would not be judgmental.
Before I recount Brooklyn's story, I just want to say that despite everything, despite the situation she found herself in, despite the initial shock and surprise at hearing her secret, Brooklyn is a wonderful person and has always been a faithful friend to me, so please don't judge her too harshly.
*****
Her name was Brooklyn Anthony; she was named in honor of the old Brooklyn Dodgers, her Grandfather's favorite baseball team when he was a boy.
She was an only child; a preacher's kid, sheltered, obedient and trusting to a fault.
Her Grandfather had been a pastor, just as her father Ezra Anthony was. Ezra Anthony was the pastor of a small church, and young Brooklyn grew up wanting only to marry a man like her father and dreamed of one day being a good pastor's wife.
At nineteen Brooklyn was of average height, slim, with shoulder length auburn hair, and a curvaceous woman's body. Brooklyn had her whole life in front of her and expected only the best.
After high school, Brooklyn went to the Morgenson Bible College near her hometown of Pendleton, and there she met Michael Downes, her future husband. Michael was very religious and very ambitious, two qualities that Pastor Anthony admired. Her father liked Michael from their first meeting and thinking he would be a good husband for Brooklyn, actively encouraged their dating and eventual engagement. Of course, Brooklyn liked Michael, but I don't think she loved him. If not for her father's insistence, I think she would have broken it off with Michael after the second date when he got drunk and tried very aggressively to have sex with her. That incident left her shaken and a little afraid of Michael.
I remember she once told me that she had been so upset with him she didn't talk to him or see him for almost a week. When she finally did see him, he had suddenly shown up unannounced at the house with an engagement ring and proposed to her in front of her parents. What could she do? With her parents' embraces and congratulations, and not wanting to disappoint them she ignored the red flags and told Michael, "Yes, I'll marry you."
*****
Before her wedding, Brooklyn had never had a boyfriend, let alone been with anyone sexually and sadly; she had no real understanding of what love, physical, emotional or sexual was supposed to be. It wasn't until their wedding night that she saw Michael naked and fully erect for the first time. He came at her, pulled her to him and in a hushed, scary voice told her he was going to fuck her. He shoved his hand under her virginal white silk nightgown and going between her legs, possessively palmed her pussy. Terrified, she began to struggle with him, until he slapped her and she froze where she stood. She was barely aware when he tore away the nightgown, leaving her naked and vulnerable and carried her to the bed. After he took her virginity, consummating their marriage, she never refused or resisted him again.
Brooklyn had grown up understandably thinking all men would be like her father, but she had been mistaken. Confused and often frightened by her relationship with Michael she had tried talking about it with her Mother and even now could be reduced to tears when she thought back to those early conversations. Brooklyn remembered one particular occasion when she and her Mother had met for lunch soon after she and Michael returned from their honeymoon. Unable to come right out and tell her about their wedding night, her Mother, sensed what was bothering Brooklyn, and in no uncertain terms, told her that as Michael's wife it was her responsibility to "love, honor and obey him" in all things. Brooklyn understood what her Mother was alluding to, and realized her mother would not be on her side in this. With her Mother's admonition in mind, Brooklyn acquiesced to Michael and found herself constantly on her back with her legs open letting him stick it in her whenever he wanted her. Brooklyn was young, inexperienced, and she would still cringe recalling those first weeks of their marriage, him crawling on top of her, pushing himself into her with his hard, impatient cock. When it was over, Brooklyn would roll away from him, and filled with tears and frustration cry herself to sleep.
*****
Michael's goal was to be pastor of his own church and to have a young, pretty wife and a house full of attractive, well-mannered children. Within but a few months of their wedding, Michael and her parents had convinced Brooklyn that she should quit school and focus her energies on being a good wife to Michael and becoming pregnant. Reluctantly bending to the pressure, Brooklyn dropped out of school soon after.
Children were an integral part of Michael's image of himself, but for whatever reason, he and Brooklyn couldn't get pregnant. After a year of marriage and an increasingly unsatisfying sex life (at least for her), they found their relationship under considerable strain. Michael became obsessed with the idea that their fertility issues were because of Brooklyn. Sadly, he almost had her convinced that this was true.
Never a thoughtful or considerate partner, out of frustration and anger at the situation, Michael began to berate and blame Brooklyn, telling her she was barren and useless as a woman. Interestingly enough, in stark contrast to his words, he could not keep his hands off her for long. Michael, physically bigger and stronger than Brooklyn's petite frame, would use that physical difference to dominate her sexually. He had become a demanding, controlling, and almost vindictive lover; when he wanted sex, he wanted sex. When he worked from home, he wanted sex three or four times a day. He would come up behind her when she was washing the dishes, unloading groceries from the car or making the bed, his cock erect and leaking. He would make her give him oral sex when they were in the car, grabbing her by the neck and forcing her head into his lap, where grunting and thrusting he would explode down her throat. More humiliating were the times when the good 'Pastor Michael' would want sex in his church office. Before service, he would pin her against the wall, cover her mouth with his hand and fuck her until he had emptied himself, and then sanctimoniously saunter out to give his Sunday sermon.
On some level, she still had feelings for him, but the relationship had deteriorated to the point where Brooklyn could barely stand for him to touch her. Aside from those occasions when Michael sexually "took" what he wanted, he and Brooklyn had not been mutually intimate in a long time, which of course exasperated any possibility of conceiving a child with him. Brooklyn had come to realize that Michael was not the quiet, mild mannered, church focused Christian man that he had portrayed himself to be when they were going together. With that realization, the emotional distance between them increased which only served to dampen any remaining desire or feelings she might have had for him.
As their relationship continued to deteriorate, giving in to pressure from her Father and Mother, even though Michael refused to go with her Brooklyn finally decided to see a therapist if for no other reason than to have someone to talk with. Surprisingly, she found the sessions helpful, and after the third session, the therapist suggested she schedule a visit with a Dr. O'Donnell, an ob/gyn who had a lot of experience and success with women dealing with fertility problems.
*****
Brooklyn glanced at her wristwatch with growing annoyance; her appointment had been for 9:00 am, and Dr. O'Donnell had already kept her waiting ten minutes. At almost twenty-two years old, she had already been married for close to two years, and here she sat, naked except for a blue paper dressing gown waiting for a doctor to examine her female parts and tell me why she still wasn't pregnant.
Just as she was about to gather her things and leave, the door opened, and Dr. O'Donnell came into the room. Tall, fortyish, good looking, he exuded an air of quiet authority. He walked toward her with a confident stride, a reassuring smile playing at the corners of his mouth. He took in every inch of her. She was gorgeous; thick, shoulder length auburn hair, a full pouty mouth, large hazel colored eyes and an unmistakable aura of innocence and understated sensuality.
Dr. O'Donnell had a knack for "reading" women, being able to sense their emotional weaknesses and needs. He seldom failed to identify those most susceptible to his manipulation, those most likely to give themselves willingly to him without question or resistance. He sensed his new patient was one of those women. Trying to maintain his professionalism despite the way his dick had begun to twitch, he moved closer to Brooklyn, and extended his hand, saying, "Hello, I'm Dr. Jeffrey O'Donnell . . . and you must be Mrs. Downes?"
"Hello, Dr. O'Donnell, she said shyly . . . yes, Brooklyn . . . Brooklyn Downes," she replied as she shook his hand for a moment too long.
His warm brown eyes and the soothing tone of his voice immediately put her at ease, and a sense of comfort and security enveloped her.
"I think my nurse has gotten all of the information that I need from you, and I think I understand exactly what you need," he said in a calm, sympathetic voice.
Brooklyn took a deep breathe, nodding her head in confirmation as he spoke.
"Okay . . . well, let's get started with your breast examine," he said. Brooklyn clutched the gown about her, embarrassed by the thought of him seeing her naked breast.
Dr. O'Donnell was twice Brooklyn's age, experienced in life and with women, particularly young women. Sensing her anxiety, he reassuringly patted Brooklyn's shoulder.
Brooklyn looked up into his eyes and relaxed her grip on the edges of her gown.
