Hi this is a sequel to Bonfire: Therapy Ch 0-2. It can be read alone but reading my earlier stories might help.
Chapter 3
I leave Dr. Graham's office in a daze. I can still feel how wet I am as my panties press against my pussy. Every step reminds me how much of a slut I am.
You enjoy being humiliated,
I repeat to myself, knowing it to be true. I reach the main campus before I realize it. My pussy is still begging for some relief.
You don't want to cum.
I know this is true also. I never want to cum anymore. It's more of an addiction, like a junky after her fix. Except afterwards, instead of feeling pleasure I feel overwrought with guilt. Now I know why.
You don't want to cum
. I haven't done anything to deserve an orgasm. Dr. Graham is right. He was kind to let me stop. I would have felt so ashamed if he hadn't.
He's so masculine
.
His voice is so deep.
I shake myself before I can continue this train of thought. Looking up I realize I'm already at the dorms.
You cannot think about your therapist like this. Don't be such a slut Susie.
I rummage through my purse trying to find the keycard. The journal outlining my rape drops to the ground, falling open. I pick it up and see Dr. Graham's annotation lining the margin next to a paragraph describing how I orgasmed while a stranger was forcing his cock inside my asshole, with his fingers filling my cunt. Dr. Graham had underlined the description in red pen. Next to where I admit to begging the guy to fuck me he wrote one word. "Broken."
The journal falls through my fingers again, as I feel my heart race, I can't breath. I press my card against the pad, frantically pressing again when it won't connect. I just need to be in my room, in bed. I try again, sliding the card all around.
Please
. I pull it away and press it back, finally hearing the lock click open before the door swings open into me.
I stumble backward, nearly falling before a hand reaches out and grabs my arm. "Woah, hey Susie, didn't see you there." The guy that grabbed my arm helps to straighten me. After steadying myself I look up to see my roommate Megan's latest boyfriend.
"Oh, sorry, hi Brian, sorry."
"No worries." He releases my arm and bends down to pick up the journal. He turns it over and, before I can grab it, glances down at the same page that had triggered a small panic attack. I try to pull it from his hand before he can look at it. Grabbing it I mumble, "Thanks," and try to convince myself that he didn't have enough time to read anything important, and that his lips aren't curling into a smirk as he lets it go into my hands.
I can feel him staring at me as I look around him, hoping he'll step out of the way so I can retreat inside. After a few seconds he pulls the door open for me and half steps out of the way. "I'll probably see you later, I've got a date with Megan." I force myself to make eye contact and smile softly, thanking him again before I hurry to the stairs.
I unlock my dorm room praying Megan is out, as I step inside I breathe a sigh of relief not to see her. I cannot fake normalcy right now. I shove the journal deep in my desk drawer, let my dress fall to the floor, and slip a tank top on. I barely register that it's only 7pm as I crawl into bed. For the first time in months, sleep comes within seconds of my head hitting the pillow.
When I wake the room is pitch black. I move to turn over, planning to grab my phone and check the time, when I hear movement from Megan's bed. She's giggling and I can hear something that sounds like slapping and then a guy groaning. I freeze, still facing the wall. Brian's voice is low but clear as he says, "Your tits are so fucking sexy." Megan moans softly. I hear her whisper, "Oh my god, you're going to make me cum." There's more slapping noises as Brian fucks her. I can hear how wet she is. "Oh fuuuuck." She's not whispering now. Brian isn't slowing down as he growls, "Cum for me baby." Megan squeals. I picture his balls slapping against her as her pussy squeezes his cock. Megan is still moaning when Brian grunts, "Fuck, I'm going to cum...fuuuck."
His groans fade and I can hear the wet plopping noise as he pulls out of her and they both collapse on the bed. I imagine his cum dripping out of her gaping pussy as it struggles to close. She giggles and whispers, "You were so loud." He laughs and says, "Don't worry, she's asleep, see?." I squeeze my eyes shut as a phone light flashes over me. "You're so bad" I hear Megan tease. He chuckles, "You like that." She giggles and whispers something that I can't make out. I lay still, drifting in and out of consciousness, half listening as the whispers quiet down and eventually turn into even breathing. Thoughts about pleasure and sex drift in and out of my mind. Followed by feelings of jealousy, lust, shame, and pride. I try to focus my brain but I can't keep hold of anything.
I think about everything that's happened today.
Dr. Graham made me masturbate in front of him. Is that normal? Maybe I shouldn't go back. But I was able to sleep so easily. I feel better don't I? Something must be working. I just need to think differently about things. Like Megan. Megan, loves being fucked. She came on his cock just like I did. And she's proud of it.
I let these thoughts sink in.
Maybe I can cum. It's not a big deal if I just make myself cum right now. I'm so horny.
I turn onto my back and reach down, sliding my right hand into my panties. I'm dripping wet and I gasp as I touch my already swollen clit.
Mmmm
I moan softly, it feels so good to slide my wetness over my slit. I picture Brian on top of me, his cock spreading my pussy open slowly. I feel him filling me while I slide a finger inside. My pussy is throbbing as I return my fingers to my clit. Rubbing in small circles, barely hard enough to feel. My pussy is dripping onto my sheets. I can feel the puddle I'm making. I'm so horny, I need release. Brian's face fades away, replaced by my childhood friend Will, his fingers pushing harder against me, rubbing me so rough that it hurts. I try to push him out but I can't stop him. He takes my hand so that he can rub his hardening cock with it. Jerking him, he tells me to suck him. "N-no, I'm not like that." I remember saying as I slap his hand away. I try to return my thoughts to Brian, to my clit and dripping pussy, but I can't. My fingers feel raw, my clit numb. I can't recapture the sensations. As I rub my clit I feel my pleasure getting farther and farther away until I give up, whimpering at the loss.
I lie still, trying to make sense of my failure to cum. I've never had trouble having an orgasm. Even when I was raped I came easily. Too easily.
But it's not your orgasm you want is it?
Dr. Graham's voice fills my head.
You don't want to feel guilty do you?
I shake my head. I don't want the aftereffects. He's right. It's not worth it.
I groan, trying to release my pent up energy. Throwing my blanket off, I stumble out of bed and into the bathroom Megan and I share with our neighbors. I'm careful to leave the light off and I barely open my eyes as I fumble around. I appreciate the plush rug that tells me I've reached the toilet and I sit down, relieving myself with a soft sigh. I can barely make myself stand back up. I'm so comfy and sleepy. I don't know how long I've been slumped when my body jolts awake like I caught myself starting to fall. I groan and reach for toilet paper. I need to wipe my pussy three times to clean up my juices from earlier. As I do, I feel a twinge of humiliation and a voice saying,
But you love that, don't you slut?
I reach back and flush the toilet, but as I move to get up my way is blocked. A man's hand presses my shoulder to keep me down and another pushes my knees apart so that my legs are awkwardly spread open across the bowl. I look up but the only light is coming from a red LED on the wall behind the person and I can't see their face. I bring my hand up to try to push them off my shoulder. As I do, the hand at my knees lets go and I hear the sound of someone peeing. I look down confused since I don't feel anything when a stream of liquid pours onto my thighs moving across and onto my pussy. I hear it hit the bowl and feel it splash back into my thighs and ass.
I struggle against his hand, but as I try to stand up I feel his piss move up my pussy and onto my stomach, covering the bottom of my tank top. I stop struggling, hoping he will finish soon and let me go. He laughs and I feel the stream rise, covering my breasts so that my already hard nipples poke against my wet top. "P-please stop." I whimper, squeezing my eyes shut and waiting for him to finish.
"Shhh." His hand moves from my shoulder to my hair. He's stopped peeing, but my front is soaked through. I feel his hand clutching the back of my head as he pulls me toward him. My lips brush against his cock and I can feel it's still dripping piss. "Open," He whispers. As I take a breath he pushes himself between my lips. His hands hold my head around him and he lets his cock rest in my mouth. "Suck," his voice is soft but demanding. I move my tongue around, licking the head, feeling it get fuller, growing in my mouth. His hand pushes me harder against him so that my chin is pressing into his balls. I lick faster, feeling his cock growing as I suck. It starts to press against my throat and I gag softly. He pulls himself out so that his cock head stays between my lips before thrusting back in and ramming against my throat. I gag harder around him, but he holds my head against his stomach. "Shhhh slut." He reprimands me while his cock pops into my throat.
I press my hands on his thighs, pushing weakly against him. He doesn't seem to notice and instead starts thrusting his cock out and back into my throat. My saliva is running down my top and I hear the gagging noises filling the bathroom. He presses himself deep inside me, holding my head against his balls and stomach so I can't breath. I raise my arms to push him away but he easily slaps me away. My arms drop to my sides as I feel myself growing faint. He slaps my cheek and tells me, "Show me how broken you are slut. Get ready to swallow." I can feel his cock tightening, as he pulls out slightly enough for me to catch a breath before I feel his cum spraying against the back of my throat. The first load fills my mouth and he fucks deeper into my throat once more before pulling out to spray a second time. I swallow everything as fast as I can, the bitter and slightly numbing taste covers my tongue and cheeks.
He pulls out as I start coughing roughly. When I'm calm enough to look up again, he's gone. I'm left alone, covered in piss, cum, and spit. The tears start falling as I pull my top off, throwing it to the far corner of the room. My nipples poke out, cold and sensitive. I sit on the toilet and take a deep breath. I know my pussy is dripping. I can feel it aching, begging to be used by a man like the one that just abused my throat. I won't touch it. Instead I slip my panties around my ankles. Then I walk to the door, flip the light switch, and click the lock before turning the shower on. I'm crying more heavily now, but it feels different this time. I can't place it but something is missing. Dr. Graham will probably have an idea.
I let the hot water run over me, washing away the humiliation.
But I love humiliation
