Thursday 17th November
A couple of months ago I witnessed a truly shocking incident. Since it happened, it has played over and over in my mind a thousand times.
Before explaining any further, let me tell you a little bit about myself. I'm currently in what will be my final year of secondary school, after which I will, hopefully, be going off to university. I live at home with parents, which at times can be frustrating, but most of my friends have it a lot worse. As well as being in full-time education, I keep myself busy with a couple of part-time jobs, neither of which are particularly interesting, so I won't bore you with the details. I have a good circle of friends, I play a lot of sport, I like music, films, drinking, the occasional joint. I'd like to think I'm a fairly typical 18-year-old.
My love life has been a bit crazy lately. I recently broke up with my girlfriend of two-years after she found out I'd been cheating on her. It was a nasty break-up. Her friends had heard various rumours about me playing the field, most of which, I'll admit, had some substance, and had confronted her with the gruesome details. For days I tried to talk my way out of it, using every clichΓ©d excuse I could muster.
It was the final night of the break-up when I witnessed the aforementioned incident. I had been at my girlfriend's house, pleading with her to let me in, so we could talk. I was having little luck. When a box of my belongings landed on my head via her bedroom window I realised that the time had come to accept defeat. I got in my car and headed home.
The route took me down a number of narrow country lanes. I was very emotional, too emotional to drive. I pulled over and let it all out.
I must have been sat there, in the darkness, for a good hour sobbing away like a little girl, when suddenly, from nowhere, a man walked passed my window. I was so startled that I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw him. This was a narrow country lane, in the dead of night, there was no foot-path to speak of, and all of a sudden there was a strange man just a few feet away. It soon became clear that he was very drunk, he was stumbling from side-to-side and didn't even acknowledge my presence. I shook my head in disbelief and decided it was time to pull myself together. I looked down to the ignition as I turned the key, my eyes can't have left the man for more than a second when I heard a terrifying screech. As I looked back up I saw another car's headlights, and the man was flying through the air. My jaw dropped.
As I'm sure most people could appreciate, this was already one of the most surreal moments of my life. But things were about to get a whole lot stranger. A woman jumped out the car, she was panicked, and sobbing hysterically.
'Oh my god,' she kept repeating over and over.
She looked down at the man and then over towards me. I couldn't believe my eyes. I knew her! It was my English teacher Miss Truman. She started backing away slowly towards her car. She's going to run, I thought to myself, she's leaving him.
I reached for my phone and dialled 999, as her car sped off into the distance. I was given a few instructions, and assured that an ambulance would arrive shortly. One did, along with the police.
In the time I was waiting a lot of thoughts went through my head. The first being that there was no possibility that Miss Truman had recognised me. It was dark, my headlights were on, she couldn't have seen into the car. And if she had realised it was me, she would have never run. It would make no sense.
I knew I was going to be questioned at some length by the police, and I knew that I had a big decision to make. Do I tell them everything? Do I end the career of this woman? Possibly send her to prison?
I didn't get on well with many teachers at my school, but I had always liked her. She was very attractive, early 30s, long dark blond, and a figure that had been longingly admired by my friends and me throughout our time at the school.
I told the police I was parked in the lay-by. I told them I'd had an argument with my girlfriend earlier that evening. I told them I'd been crying. I told them the man came stumbling along from nowhere. I told them the other car had hit him from nowhere. And I told them the driver raced off, immediately after the collision.
'They didn't get out the car?' they asked.
'No,' I replied.
'Did you get a look at the driver?' they asked.
'No,' I replied.
'Did you see if they were male or female?' they asked.
'No,' I replied.
'Black or white?' they asked.
'No,' I replied.
'Did you see what make of car it was?' they asked.
'No' I replied.
They took a few more details, and sent me on my way.
I told no one about the accident. Not my parents, not my closest friends, not a single person.
A few days later there was a small story in the local paper. 'Homeless Man Injured In Hit And Run,' the headline read. According to the report, the man had fractured his skull, broken his leg and some ribs, but was in a stable condition. 'No arrests have been made,' the story confirmed.
For the entire week following the accident Miss Truman was absent from school. A succession of cover teachers took her place, offering no explanation for her absence. When she did return she looked pale and washed-out. Her lessons lacked coherence, she was clearly distracted. It was odd knowing that I was quite probably the only person who knew the route of her troubles.
As the weeks have gone by she has gradually returned to her former self. I find it frustrating that she doesn't know how much I have helped her, and has no knowledge of the risk I took. I feel I'm owed a significant debt. And it's time for payment.
Today I got to school before 7.30, knowing there would be few teachers around at that time. Cautiously, I crept into her classroom, making sure I wasn't seen. On her desk, I left a sealed white envelope, addressed to 'Miss Truman'.
A short note within read, 'Dear Miss T, I know your secret. It's time we talked. Text me.' My phone number was at the foot of the page.
Judging by her distracted demeanour in a lesson of hers I attended a few hours later, I am confident that she both received and read the letter.
However, midnight is now fast approaching, and I've not had any contact from her.
This wasn't unexpected. Tomorrow is another day.
Friday 18th November
Today began in much the same way as yesterday had. I arrived at school early and found my way to Miss Truman's classroom. Today, however, I decided not to extend the courtesy of a private note.
I took a black marker, and it foot-high letters on the whiteboard I wrote: 'Tut, tut, tut. You're a very bad girl. You can't run from everything you know. Text me. This is the last time I am going to ask.'
I didn't have a lesson with her today, but I did see her eating in the canteen at lunch time. She was deep in conversation with another teacher, making it difficult to gage the effect my message had made.
Just after 6pm, my phone beeped. A new message, from an unknown number. I felt nervous as a tapped to open it.
'Who is this?' it read.
'Is this Miss T?' I replied.
'Yes, who is this?'
'I'm a pupil of yours.'
'What's your name?'
'I can't tell you that. Did you get my note?'
'Yes, I got both your notes. I have no idea what you're talking about. Stop this right now and I'll take it no further.'
'You have no idea why you're a bad girl?'
'I'm warning you! This stops now!'
'Or what?'
'I'll report you.'
'Go ahead. I'll happily tell anyone who wants to listen all about your little accident.'
'I honestly have no idea what you are on about! Leave me alone!'
'Really? That wasn't you driving away from that poor man that night?'
I waited ten minutes, but there was no further reply.
'If you're not going to talk to me I'm sure the police will,' I provoked.
'I honestly don't know what you're talking about,' she replied.
'If you tell me that one more time I'm going straight to the police. Understand?'
Again, there was no reply.
'Hello?' I prompted.
'What do you want from me?' she responded.
'A thank you would be nice for a start.'
'Were you in the other car?'
'Yes, that was me.'
'Why didn't you tell the police it was me?'
'It wasn't your fault. He shouldn't have been there. Maybe you shouldn't have run away, but I guess you probably panicked. A lot of people would in that situation.'
'Thank you.'
'How are you feeling about it all now?'
'I'm okay. Still a bit shaken-up. The main thing is that the man is okay.'
'Have you told anyone else what happened?'
'No, I haven't. Have you?'
'No, and I have no intention of doing so. I really just wanted to let you know that I knew. If you ever want to talk about things let me know.'
'Thank you, that's very kind.'
'Have a good weekend.'
Monday 21st November