Beer Pong Shutout

This story is about embarrassing college guys by getting them naked at a party. It involves reluctant nudity, CFNM, CMNM, and eventually a tiny amount of same-sex male activity.

*****

My most embarrassing experience occurred in the spring of my senior year of college, just a few years ago. My friends Mark and Peter were roommates in a house off campus, to the south of it, and they were having a party. And as usual, there was a table set up to play beer pong.

If you've never played before, the rules can easily be found on a lot of websites. In essence, it's a drinking game where players toss or bounce ping pong balls across a table into cups of beer. Each team has ten cups lined up in formation, and every time an opponent's ball lands in your cup, you drink the beer in it and remove the cup from the table. The rest of the rules aren't important except one: our house rule (which is pretty common) is that if a team is shut out or skunked -- that is, if they fail to score a single point before the other team wins -- they have to do a naked run. They have to strip, go outside, and run around the entire perimeter naked. The boundaries would vary -- sometimes the perimeter of the house or the dorm building, but in more recent years it tended to be the entire block.

It wasn't too common in our group for anyone to be shut out. We'd all been playing since the first semester of our freshman year when we first met, and we were all decent players. Jeremy and I were on one team, and we were playing our friends Nick and Steve, who were roommates in the same north side apartment building that I lived in. Jeremy lived in the same building, too, but in a studio by himself. I had a roommate who wasn't able to come to the party tonight.

Well, this night, Jeremy and I were both drunker than usual, a lot drunker than usual, and we totally fucked up. We got skunked.

Naturally, it was a pretty wild party. At least 50 people were there, including a hell of a lot of girls. I'd never been naked in a crowd before, and the thought made my blood run cold. Jeremy, too, was totally not into stripping, and he immediately started to challenge the game, demanding a recount and blathering drunkenly about hanging chads. He was just joking, of course (though was serious about not wanting to do it), but I could tell he wasn't getting anywhere with the guys.

"Come on, guys, you got shut out," Nick said. "You got to pay the forfeit."

The crowd around us was growing, chanting "Strip, strip, strip!"

"Boxers!" Jeremy said. "We'll do it in our boxers." I was actually wearing briefs, but that was beside the point.

"No way," Steve said. "I had to do it full monty. Butt naked. Even barefoot, remember?"

"Yeah, but --" I started to say, and then stopped. Steve did it at a party a few years before. But his teammate at the time was this hot chick named Amber, and it was totally obvious to me (even though he would never admit to it) that he had thrown that game on purpose to get her naked. But I couldn't accuse him right now, not with Amber and her friends here. And it was my bad luck that it was my own teammate, Jeremy, who insisted that they be barefoot since the rules stipulated "naked," which he argued meant totally naked, even though that party was January and it was freezing outside. Steve wouldn't have any mercy, especially since this party was in April and coldness wasn't much of an excuse.

Of course, the house where we had played when Steve lost was in a pretty quiet neighborhood. This one was on a corner where two busy streets intersected. And our rules now were very clear that we'd have to run around the entire block.

"And Jeff had to run down to the beach naked on Spring Break," Nick added.

"That's different," I insisted. "He wasn't shut out. It was a side bet." It was a side bet, made when he was totally drunk, and he ended up running over two blocks completely naked just to get to the beach, which was fairly crowded with Spring Break parties even though it was the middle of the night. And after running through the beach to reach the ocean to swim, he then had to run all the way back, still naked.

"The point is, Alan, he made a bet and he honored it," Nick said. "You knew the house rules before you even started to play."

"But there are gay guys here," Jeremy pleaded. It was true. Amber and some of her friends hung out with several gay guys in the dorms, and a bunch of them (and their friends) were regulars at our parties. It was no big deal...but stripping in front of them?

But Steve just laughed. "I've got news for you," he said. "They go to the gym on campus, too. They've seen you in the showers."

A good point. I had seen them there before. The thought of being uncomfortable in front of them had never even occurred to me before, and clearly carried no water now.

There was no point appealing to Nick, either. This was a guy who once went to a Halloween party wearing a jockstrap, football helmet, flip-flops, and nothing else (and ended up giving the jockstrap to a girl at the party later that night). The guy was a total exhibitionist and wouldn't understand my apprehension.

And of course we couldn't renege on the bet. There was sort of a code with these sorts of things. Our freshman year, one guy backed out and refused to streak. He was asked to leave the party, and wasn't invited to the next one, and eventually dropped out of our friendship circle.

Then I had a flash of inspiration. We couldn't back out, but we could negotiate.

"Double or nothing!" I said.

They all stopped and starred.

"What's double?" asked Nick.

"And what's nothing?" Steve added.

I had to think fast. "We'll play again, and if we win, we don't have to streak," I said. "We only streak if we lose again." Jeremy and I generally lost more often than we won, but some chance of avoiding nudity was better than none at all.

But Nick wasn't budging. "That's not much of a negotiation," he said. "You're already supposed to streak. It's gotta be worse if you lose, otherwise it's not exactly 'double.'"

"And you have to pay some penalty for getting skunked, no matter what," Steve said. "A lesser penalty if you win, but you gotta do something."

I was stumped, but it was finally Steve who suggested an alternative.

"First, Alan and Jeremy have to play the next game wearing just their underwear," he said. "That's the minimum you get for getting shut out."

That seemed fair.

"And then if you win, you can get dressed again. But if you lose the next game, you gotta take your naked lap," Steve added.

I tensed up. Steve and Nick were better than me and Jeremy. Not a lot better, but somewhat better. There was a reasonably good chance they'd win again and we'd still be outside naked on some very busy streets.

Still, at least there was a chance we could win and avoid more than being seen in the party in our underwear. But before I could accept, Nick tossed in a compromise that at least at first sounded even better for us.

"Since you guys suck, and I mean really suck," he said, "we'll give you a better chance if you at least do marginally well."

Jeremy and I stared at him, nodding silently.

"If you can get seven of our ten cups out before we win, you can do the lap in your underwear," Nick said. "Fewer than seven, and you have to do it completely naked."

We nodded. What the hell, why not? Even though we tended to lose more often than not to Nick and Steve, we usually kept the game close. It gave us a chance to keep our underwear on, at least.

"But," Nick added, holding up a finger, "if you get only three of our cups, or less, you not only have to take you lap naked, you have to walk the entire way. No running."

I gasped. But really, our shut-out was a fluke and we usually had a close game, even if we didn't always win. We had a deal, and we were about to start when Amber asked, "What if you skunk them again?"

I glared at her, but before anyone could offer a suggestion, one of her gay friends added, "Or what if you guys get shut out, Nick?"

I barely knew this guy, Tod, but I had seen him around. He was one of Amber's close friends. I had suspected he had the hots for Nick, though he was pretty discrete about his casual glances. I suspected Nick knew that, too ... and knowing Nick, he was flattered and didn't really care, even though he wasn't interested in guys.

Nick smirked. "Dude, Jeremy and I are so not getting shut out."

It sounded like one of those "famous last words" in the movies. Cue the foreshadowing music.

"But what if...?"

Nick laughed. "Dude, if Jeremy and I get shut out, we'll not only walk that block naked, we'll come back to the party and stay naked, and when the party's over, we'll walk all the way home naked. Someone can return our clothes later."

The crowd roared. By now, most of the party had heard something was afoot and was jostling to see better.

"Oh, hell no," Steve said. "We didn't get shut out! Why are we risking more than the usual naked lap?"

"Because it's fun," Nick said. "It's a risk. And..." We never heard the last, because he leaned over and whispered in Steve's ear, but I saw Steve glance over at Amber, blush, and then shrug.

"Fine," Steve said, "but only if Alan and Jeremy agree to that, too, if they get shut out."

Jeremy and I looked at each other and wordlessly agreed. They had already given us a lot of breaks. And we had never been shut out before. Even if we lost, we didn't intend to ever be shut out again. And knowing that Nick was a total exhibitionist, part of me suspected he might lose on purpose.

We all took shots of Jagermeister before the new game started to toast to the new wager (after Jeremy and I stripped down to our underpants).

This is where, in the movies, our heroes end up turning the tables on the bad guys.

There were three things I hadn't really thought about when we came up with the deal.

The first, and perhaps most surprising in retrospect, was how weird it would feel to play in nothing but my underpants. I was wearing tight white cotton briefs. Jeremy was wearing floppy boxers, but they were white and thin. It shouldn't have phased me. I mean, we'd all hung out at the beach and hot tubs in bathing suits. I tried to pretend it was the same. But we normally wore long, stiff board shorts, not a tiny sliver of cotton that felt practically transparent every time someone "accidentally" spilled a drink on us. I felt naked, and it was distracting.

Second, we were barefoot. That shouldn't have been a big deal -- I wasn't foot shy or anything, I wore flip flops all the time. But the floor around the table was gross from all the splashed beer and spilled drinks, and every time I stepped in something wet or sticky, that was also distracting.

But most importantly. Jeremy and I were already wasted, much more so than Nick and Steve since we had been doing poorly with various drinking games all evening. We had just lost a game, which amounted to be about two beers each, but that was after drinking a lot all night long. We had the shot of Jager. Plus, the keg had run dry, and rather than filling our cups with beer from bottles, someone filled it with vodka cranberry. Heavy on the vodka. And finally, Amber and some of her gay friends kept feeding us shots of Jager and other random shit. I kept taking them, thinking it would loosen my inhibitions (and make me feel less naked), but forgetting that it would also affect my game. It wasn't until too late that I noticed Steve and Nick kept declining the shots offered to them.

Between the alcohol and our nervousness, we couldn't concentrate. Jeremy and I blew it again. Big time. The second shut out of my life.

Amidst the whooping and hollering, a girl I'd never met before grabbed my hand and guided me over to the window. I obeyed her without even thinking about it when she told us to stand on the window seat. I was so stunned and frozen when she pulled my briefs down that it was several moments, despite the flashes of cameras going off, before it even occurred to me to try to cover my dick with my hands.

Beside me, Jeremy was blushing bright red as his boxers were confiscated. We were standing completely naked before an entire party of people. And that was the easy part. We hadn't even started our naked run -- naked walk -- around the block.