This is a work of fiction. Unless otherwise showed, all the names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents in this story are the product of the author's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Part 9: Moral Flexibility and Black Widows
I picked up Nicole and Julie from their indoctrination, and they told me all about their days. Nicole finished up her tests and sat through training, explaining the hierarchy of the Assassins and the company. The way she talked about it sounded like your standard training when starting a new job. Julie took her tests and was able to finish them quickly; it had taken her mother over a day to finish hers. Julie told me they gave her abbreviated tests, saying spouses didn't have to take all of them. They were both to return tomorrow morning, and Susan had requested me to be there. I thought little it and drove home.
When we arrived, we were greeted with the smell of dinner cooking. It was late afternoon, and the sun cast long shadows through the windows and we stepped through them into the living room. Nicole and Julie waked back to change into their corsets. I walked to the kitchen to see what Beth was concocting on the stove. She was standing at the counter peeling carrots, wearing her corset and apron. I had seen her for years in the same position doing the same thing, but now she was doing it sexualized. I paused, not knowing exactly how I felt about that. She looked amazing, but I wanted more for her. I wanted her to be happy; was she? After seeing what I did today, I questioned what I was doing to the women and why I was doing it. Was it the club, or was it me? Annie was still in my head.
We all sat down and ate, and the ladies noticed my attention was elsewhere. I explained to them what had happened this afternoon, and I told them all about Tiffany and Annie and what I had witnessed.
"Rich, I know that's hard." Beth explained, "That's part of the life of a club member, though. I don't like it, but it's how we live. You can't save everyone. You're a sweet man, and I worry that this life will take a toll on you, but you have to harden yourself to all of this. It is ultimately your decision how you treat the women you come across, as well as us."
"It's that bad?" Julie asked. "I mean, these women will be sold if they can't come around? That is sad."
"Julie, we could have been those women, or worse." Nicole answered, "Bob tried to sell us, and Susan told us we would have been in that facility tonight if Rich hadn't come along. Thank you again Rich for helping us."
"Nicole, I did what I think anyone would do." I answered, "I saw you two in trouble, and I had to help. If I can be honest with you, I questioned whether rescuing you was any better than what you were going through. You're now the property of the club and even I can't do anything about that. The only thing I can do is be there for you all and hopefully shield you from what I saw today, or worse."
"Yes, Rich, I've had the same question." Nicole admitted, " I can't express how relieved I am to be rid of Bob in our lives. I have to admit, however, that I have reservations about what this new life will bring us. You're eighteen, just a kid, and while I am fond of you, I do have doubts about what you can do to protect us. The euphoria of getting rid of Bob is wearing off and I'm left with the reality that I now find myself in."
Nicole continued. "I will be obedient, and I will make myself available to you as the club requires, but you're right, it's almost the same as what I was doing with Bob; it's a distinction without a difference. I hope I'm not overstepping, and I don't want to make you feel guilty, but I feel somewhat used. We have to walk around practically naked at home; you don't think that we like that, do you?"
"For the record, I don't have a problem with it." Julie said, looking at Nicole. "I enjoy looking sexy for Rich."
"Julie, he's your boyfriend; that's expected." Nicole answered, "I'm speaking for myself, and possibly Beth. We are women, not a love-struck girl. I'm fond of you, Rich, and you've treated us much better than Bob did. I enjoy the sex, but that's my body telling me that. My head is telling me I should run out the door and take my chances. I know I can't, and I would put Julie in a dangerous position if I did, so I stay."
"Nicole, I know how you feel." Beth broke in. "I've been in the club for many years, and listening to you is bringing back those feelings I had when I started. Rich said he would try to shield you; that's what Brian did for me. I experienced nothing negative until he died. I would have sex with other men while Brian was still alive, but that wasn't often, and it was just sex. I would always return home with Brian, and our lives continued. I've grown accustomed to the subservience and being treated less than the men. I can't say that you will grow to accept it, but it will get easier."
Is this what I wanted for these three ladies? I loved Julie, I loved Beth, and I was growing to like Nicole more. Would their lives be nothing more than accepting their fate, never truly enjoying themselves. Would life be just striving to reach a point of equilibrium; just able to survive? Is that even a life worth living? It certainly wasn't a life I wanted for them, and I was their guardian. I was one of the people responsible for putting them in that position.
After dinner, we all adjourned to the living room. We took the night off from sex. I wasn't in the mood and had a lot on my mind. I told the women they could dress casually. As I looked around the room, I realized I didn't need the corsets to be turned on. Even in those sweats that she's worn for years, Beth looked amazing. I saw her in them often but never thought of her in that way before. Nicole had on her nightly covered by a long robe. She still looked amazing, and more than anything I wanted to prove to her I could protect her. Julie had on shorts and a t-shirt, both hugging her body. She looked sexy, and to me, she always has.
I didn't know what I would do about the home attire. I didn't need it to find them attractive, yet I enjoyed seeing them dressed that way. My attraction to the women was slowly changing from visual to emotional. It had only been a couple of days, but I was becoming quite close to all of them on that level. A lot has happened during those short days.
I still believed dressing in the corsets put them in the correct mindset to accept their subservience and a constant reminder of their position. I had to figure out what was more important; the club's requirements of them, or my desire to give them what they wanted. And what would I do if those two things didn't align? We passed the rest of the evening watching some shows and went to bed early. We all needed some sleep.
The next morning I awoke to my wake-up call, this time with Nicole finishing with me. I watched her closely as she rode me. Her facial expressions showed someone who was enjoying herself. She smiled down at me, but I could also see the apprehension in her eyes. My hands rested on her hips; she had very soft skin, and I could catch the faint aroma of her perfume she wore the day before. She was a beautiful woman, and I enjoyed sex with her, but what would my desire cost her. I believe she deserved much more than what she was given; I wanted to give her more.
When she finished and we lay there waiting for Beth and Julie to finish in the bathroom, I spoke to her. "Nicole, after what we talked about yesterday at dinner, how did you feel about having sex with me this morning?"
She paused for a moment to collect her thoughts, then answered, "In a simple answer, I enjoyed it. Every time I have sex with you, I orgasm, and I look forward to that. Those years with Bob I had to get myself off; giving it to myself accomplished what I needed, but it wasn't what I wanted. Now I find myself in a position of having what I want, but it possibly isn't what I truly need. I need to have a closeness with someone, be able to give myself over fully. After the abuse we suffered, I need a man that can protect me, make me feel safe."
Nicole continued. "I look at you Rich and I see a young man that is just figuring out his way in the club, and hell, his way in life. I see someone who is scared; you do a reasonable job at hiding it, but I can see the expression in your eyes when you think no one is looking. That doesn't make me feel confident that you can keep me safe. You are our guardian, so I have to put my faith in you. I want you to succeed, for all of our benefits. I hope you don't mind me being honest with you. My understanding is we can't lie to you, but I don't want to upset you either."
"Nicole, thank you." I reassured her, "You can always be honest with me, and don't worry about me getting upset. You've echoed the same doubts that I have. Please, in the future, tell me what you're thinking. I also want you to tell me when you see me failing. Beth has been in the club for years and accepts her position and won't question much. Julie is my girlfriend and will probably listen to me because she wants to please me. You are new and not connected to me like the others. Can I count on you, to be honest with me? I want the best for all of you."
"Rich, I will do that." Nicole answered, "I know your heart is in the right place, and I know you have good intentions. I need someone who can make me feel safe, and that requires you to have confidence. I need a man that can be strong and supportive, so you'll have to step up if you are going to be that man. Your doubts will always threaten to paralyze you, you can't let them succeed. I'll say it again, you need to be confident."
"Nicole, this is where my doubts come in." I admitted, "You mentioned last night about being practically naked at home. Now, I don't know what to do about that. I like it, it turns me on, but is it good for you? You were right on the mark about my doubts because right now a small decision like that is paralyzing me. Yesterday shook me up, seeing those women, and especially Annie."
"Rich, you need to put that behind you. I know you had a hard time, but we need you to be here with us, not back there. The club will require you to do jobs you don't agree with, you need to do them. If you don't, you leave us exposed and put us in danger. Beth was right, you need to harden yourself against those feelings."
"I know you're a thinker, but the only way you're going to gain confidence is by doing." Nicole explained. "I agree with Beth. You are a sweet man, maybe too sensitive for this lifestyle, but we are all counting on you to overcome that. I don't care to walk around the house naked, but if my man tells me to, and he shows confidence, I'll do it. I have a submissive nature, and I've always liked powerful men. You spanked me that first night; I didn't like it, but I respected it. I understand I can be headstrong and if I'm going to feel protected, you'll have to have a firm hand. I want a man that is stronger than I am, both physically and mentally."
