Every day that summer I managed to detour my chaperone through the park so that I could ogle the gardener there. It was my only rebellion from Father's tyranny.
There were actually two gardeners in the park. I called them Adonis and Gorilla. It was Adonis, had a smile that you could write on a blackboard with and every time I passed him in the park I dreamt of long tongue rolling kisses, he wouldn't stop me having fun, that was for sure. He was the feature of many of my night-time explorations as well. Gorilla? All that thick black body hair, no thank you.
Even though I'd just had my eighteenth birthday, the thought that I might be interested in boys, or worse that I they might be interested in me, occupied my Father's every waking moment. Sometimes I think he'd consider converting to Islam, just so that he could have me completely covered in a Yashmak. 'Boys, even Pakistani boys, don't respect easy girls.' He'd say, and by easy, he'd mean girls who left the house on their own, that's why he always insisted on me being chaperoned outside the house. If it hadn't been for that 3-day old dhal, I may never have lost my virginity.
It was the dhal my aunt had for lunch that sent her rushing upstairs to the toilet when she should have been chaperoning me down to Father's shop. I took my chance and left on my own. After all, someone had to be there to give my Father a break.
Adonis was on his own for once, attending to one of the flower beds.
I could not afford the luxury of nerves or coyness. This was my only chance. 'All on your own today?' I asked, strolling towards him. He couldn't take his eyes off my skirt as my hips slid the light fabric from side to side across my thighs. I imagined what my father would say if he could see this boy's eyes.
'Like what you see?' I asked.
He rose, blotting out the sun as he stretched to his full height. I was expecting the sun to blaze through golden locks, creating a halo of purity around him. Instead I shivered in his shadow.
'I see you pass by sometimes.' He said, avoiding my question.
'I know, but your eyes never manage to get above my waist do they.'
He didn't try to deny it, he just smiled.
A silence fell between us and I suddenly felt like an opportunity was escaping me. I had no choice, I lunged forward, right into the depths of his shadow, and kissed him.
He broke away, pushing me back.
'You gay?' I asked, trying to hide my rejection and my fear.
He smirked, 'my boss would take a dim view if he saw me kiss you here.'
'Where would he like me to kiss you then?' As the words fell from my mouth they were almost followed by my lunch, I was so nervous. But I certainly wasn't about to let this opportunity escape.
He jagged a thumb over to a large shed hidden in the trees. I didn't like the idea of somewhere quite so secluded, even if he did have such a gorgeous smile. But then his hand wrapped around mine, enclosing it completely and my legs could do nothing but stumble after him.
The shed was dark, the wild twists of agricultural tools were everywhere. A single light bulb lit the entire structure from high up in the rafters. I blinked until my eyesight adjusted. And while I was blinking I could hear him securing the door behind us.