I awoke to the sound of male voices. Voices I recognized. Voices I grew to trust despite the lack of time it took to trust any stranger.
"Why is she at the bottom?"
"She must have passed out." There was an urgency in his voice. One of panic.
A beat of silence.
"Was there enough air in there?"
"I would never leave her in here if it wasn't safe. I want her out. Now."
"Alright."
"Good. Don't fucking hurt her."
"I nearly died defending her, Ethan."
"She's your Luna."
Richen muttered under his breath and I felt my body being tugged. A moan escaped my lips and I felt my head lull to the side of its own accord. I was heavy and uncoordinated; obviously not in control of my own body. My brain was fuzzy, like I was drinking, and I was getting over a hangover.
"Watch her head," Ethan snarled.
"I got it," snapped Richen.
"Easy. Easy."
Cold air brushed against my skin and I coughed involuntarily. The wind was a welcome for my lungs, which had previously felt constricted.
"That's a good girl. Breathe."
Strong arms enveloped me, and I breathed in Ethan's scent. His warm skin pressed against my cheek and I shivered, snuggling closer to him for warmth. He was breathing heavily, and his skin felt moist. I opened my eyes slowly and blinked lazily as I gained awareness.
"Hey there, mea vita. You alright?" Ethan smiled, revealing the sharp, white fangs I was accustomed to. He brushed wet strands of hair away from my face. I wasn't sure if that was snow, sweat, ice or blood.
I opened my mouth to reply but coughed again. My mouth felt dry.
"Get me some water, Richen."
I heard Richen leave, his footfalls becoming distant. I sat up a little and lifted my head to look around.
Dead wolves lay on the snow, their bodies covered in blood. I inhaled sharply and spoke, my voice raspy and thick. "What happened?"
Ethan didn't bother looking at the carnage. He was focusing on me. "They're not going to hurt you. You're safe. Look at me." He grabbed my chin and turned my head to face him. "Are you hurt?"
I did a quick assessment. Aside from feeling nauseous and a bit woozy, I was fine. "I'm okay," I said, coughing some more.
Richen returned, his arm tucked into his side as he approached with a glass of water. "Luna." He kneeled in the snow, his body naked and gleaming with sweat and blood. "Drink."
Ethan thanked him and grabbed the glass, putting it to my lips where I drank it greedily. A few drops fell and drizzled down the side of my chin, landing on Ethan's open coat, which I was still wearing.
"Alright, easy," said Ethan, pulling the glass away.
He handed Richen the glass, who polished the rest of it off. "Going to visit the Doc really quick, boss. I think I broke my arm."
Ethan nodded in understanding, his eyes still on me. "Go. Meet me at the cabin when you're done."
Richen muttered under his breath again and left us alone.
Ethan's hand was still under my chin, holding me in place. I looked up at him, at his golden eyes that made me shiver. They ran along the length of my face and stopped at my lips. Where he lowered his head and took my mouth with reckless abandon.
The kiss was hot, wet and powerful. It was desperation. It was concern. It was tongues clashing, teeth colliding and lips smacking. His scent overwhelmed me, and his body smelled of forest, sweat, blood and pure Ethan. It was raw. It was untamed and wild. The world around us faded and all I knew was Ethan. All I saw was Ethan. All I felt was Ethan.
I grabbed his arm for support, unable to hold myself against the tide of pleasure and passion rippling through me as he kissed me into oblivion. As if knowing what I needed, Ethan released his hold on my chin and grabbed my arms, guiding them to encircle his neck. I wrapped them around him like a vise, holding on for dear life as I lost myself to the man and beast that was willing to die for me.
I wasn't sure how long he sat on the cold snow, my body on his lap and glued to him, but it wasn't nearly enough. He was the first to break the kiss; our parting a loud, moist release of flesh and tongue. I whimpered, not wanting him to stop. Not wanting even the smallest distance between us.
Ethan's chest rumbled in satisfaction. He lowered his head and pressed his forehead against mine, his breathing just as erratic. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked, his warm breath tickling my nose and lips.
I nodded. "Yeah."
"When I saw you leave with Richen..." he said, his voice thick and deep. "And the wolves followed...all I saw was red." He inhaled sharply; his eyes closed while he recounted the events of the attack. "I've never been so afraid in all of my life," he admitted.
The look on his face was not only genuine, but one of fear. That look alone was enough to make me shiver. It was enough for reality to come crashing down like the weight of a thousand knives-striking and piercing through the veil of guises and false safety.
The truth was: we were nearly killed.
I
was nearly killed. If Richen hadn't defended me...if Ethan hadn't arrived when he did...I would've been dead.
Ethan's next words made me wince. "We need to leave."
"What?" I asked, even though I heard every word clearly.
He got up with me in his arms and I finally noticed that we were no longer alone. Jared and Edwin had entered-along with the rest of the battered clan-quietly waiting for Ethan. I gasped lowly when they approached, blood and fur on their bare-slicked skin.
Ethan spoke, his voice loud and booming amongst the trees-which had gone quiet, like the rest of the forest. No owls sang. No wind danced. It seemed as if the forest itself bore the pain of death amongst her, silently absorbing the blood on the snow, the moans of fallen logs and scratched bark. The air was thick and cold, like a bite of warning that all was not well. No one was safe.
"Gather your things," said Ethan. "We're leaving."
No one questioned this. No one protested the idea of uprooting the entire clan and leaving everything behind. No one asked where we were going. I briefly wondered why that was. I knew that they obeyed Ethan and that he was their Alpha. I also assumed that this had to have happened before. Sudden attack. Sudden uprooting.
I still needed to know. "Where are we going?"
Ethan didn't answer. Instead, he walked over to Jared. "Take her to my cabin. Pack all clothing, cell phones and as much food as possible. Feed her. Make sure she has everything she needs before we leave."
Jared nodded in understanding and opened his arms, where Ethan gently handed me over with a quick kiss to my temple.
"Stay with Jared," he said, lowering his head so he could look at me clearly. "Take what you think you'll need for a long trip. Eat something. Drink water. Pack your medicines. Doc Baldrige is coming with us, but we'll have to disconnect from Hubert for a while. At least until things cool down."
With that said, Jared straightened and turned. I watched as Ethan faced his clan, began to talk and bark orders. Slowly, the group dissipated, and Ethan followed, becoming a small figure in the darkness.
It didn't take long for Jared to enter Ethan's cabin with me in tow. Noiselessly, he padded across the hardwood and placed me on the couch while he got on some clothes. So shaken by what took place, I barely registered that the entire clan had been naked. Even Ethan was bare.
"Stay here," said Jared. "I'll be right back."
I sat on the couch, trying to gain some heat from the fire, its dying embers struggling to reignite. Although, no amount of heat was going to warm my bones. I was replaying the events in my head, going over every little action and reaction. Questions swirled around, spiraling out of control until I began to lose focus.
Did this kind of thing happen before? Where were we going? Did anyone else get hurt? What was goin-
"Luna?"
I turned, seeing Jared fully clothed in Ethan's attire. "Huh?"
He gave me a look. "I asked you if you're hungry."
"Uh...no. Not really. I could really use a shower though."
He nodded and walked over to the kitchen. "Just make sure you eat something after. Alpha would kill me if he found out I didn't feed you."
I wanted to argue that eating was not at the top of my list of things to do right now, but it was pointless. I shrugged and got up slowly. "I just feel so dirty." And shaken. I didn't voice that, however.
Jared walked over to me briskly. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Ummm...going to the shower?"
He picked me up, my body flying high due to his height. "You're certainly not walking up the stairs in your current condition."
I pegged him with a glare. "Don't go all Ethan on me."
"That's not a bad thing."
"I never said it was. It's just a little much sometimes."
He began walking up the stairs to the shower in Ethan's room. "Yeah, well I can't really blame him."
I frowned. "What do you mean?"
"He's bonded to you. All males of our kind have that kind of instinct over our mates. It isn't something we choose. It isn't something we mind either."
I thought about that. Did
I
mind it? Deep down, the voice inside my head said no. Hell fucking no. But the rational part? It was debating. It was choosing freedom over ownership. But could it really be labeled as ownership?
No. Not exactly. Or could it? My mind had become a befuddled mess. What was once a bid for freedom had become debatable. It was no longer singular in context, with the main goal to leave. It was something else. Something mentally and emotionally tangible. Something that was beyond the realm of escape. Time had altered it; twisted it into my veins so that leaving would not only have implications but leave searing scars ingrained into my being. Fear of repercussions had turned into fear of leaving the familiar.
I wasn't sure when that happened. But time was to blame. Integration within the clan was to blame.
I wasn't sure how to feel about that. I wasn't even sure how to express it, let alone repress it. And not just from Ethan but from myself. There was only so much hindrance one could endure before realism reared its ugly head. Before acceptance made one question the boundaries of loyalty and morality to one's very own ideals.
"Here we go." Jared looked at the time. "Fifteen minutes, then you eat. We pack and go." It wasn't a question. This was truly happening. We were leaving. What bothered me wasn't the fact that we were traveling. I was frightened of the where and the true reason as to why Ethan and his people were attacked to begin with.
When Jared left to give me my space, I took a quick shower, ridding myself of the smudge and ice that seemed to settle into my core. I grabbed Ethan's clothes, putting on a flannel and some joggers. I really missed my clothes, no matter how meager they were. At least they fit. At least they were mine.
Bang, bang, bang!
I nearly jumped out of my skin. Who the hell was knocking so incessantly like that? The hinges moaned.
"Time is up. We're leaving."
Shit.
It was Ethan. And he sounded pissed. I opened the door, shoving some of my wet air behind my ear to get it away from my face. I nearly slammed into his chest as I stumbled out, my balance off.