The Evolution of an Apartment Fucktoy - Episode 2
Tags:
[dubcon] [rape] [body betrayal] [fucktoy] [understanding desire] [dark themes] [toy play] [dildo] [throat fucking] [reverse 69] [hair pulling] [rough slapping] [nipple pinching] [breast slapping] [body handling] [forced fingering] [squirting] [blackout] [mutual understanding] [orgasm] [throatpie] [acceptance] [bribery]
It had been weeks since the incident.
Weeks since I was violated in the back stairwell of my apartment complex.
Weeks since I'd had any semblance of peace.
Over the course of the days following what happened, I found myself secluded in my apartment. I only left to go to work and practically ran home. I avoided the stairwell even though I looked at the door leading to it every time I ran to the elevator, frantically mashing the button as if it would make the elevator move faster. I had all but stopped my midnight runs to the grocery store.
I became hyper aware of how my desires shifted. Before the incident, I was just about as vanilla leaning as you could get. Using good old fashioned porn to get off, but I felt like something had broken open inside of me. The stuff that used to work for me wasn't enough.
I didn't even know what enough was anymore.
I hadn't found a limit.
I found myself drifting in my thoughts while I sat at the counter of the sex shop I worked in, my eyes lazily perusing the wall of dildos. I wondered with a bored but flushed expression on my face what any of them would feel like if they were being stuffed down my throat in a violent and forceful manner. Would it feel the same? Was I willing to buy a few to find out?
The answer to that question was yes and by the time the next week had rolled around, I had six new dildos, all different shapes and lengths scattered about my bed as I tried desperately to replicate what had happened to me in an attempt to burn out whatever was growing inside of me.
It felt like something was taking over.
This dark obsession to recreate what happened so I could bring myself to a blackout orgasm over and over.
I needed it.
Days melted together as I found a new rhythm of work and orgasms.
I fell back against my pillows, my arm draping over my sweaty forehead as I gasped for air. Absently wiping the drool from my lips and chest, I cracked my eyes open to watch the dildos that were stuck to my wall sway and bounce.
I smothered a maniacal laugh as I watched them, curling onto my side facing away from them as I felt tears well up. This was how I spent my nights. Soaking my panties and almost blacking out from throat fucking myself on various dildos stuck to my wall next to my bed.
I just wanted comfort.
I wanted to know that this was ok somehow.
I reached around behind me to peel off one of the dildos, opening my legs to slide the head of it across my soaked lips before sinking it deep inside of me. Once it was seated inside of me, I closed my legs and closed my eyes. I had always loved being full, it was something I couldn't explain to my partners and was probably one of the reasons why my relationships never lasted. That and my shitty work schedule.
I rocked my hips as I willed my mind to empty, feeling the head of the dildo stretch out the deeper parts of me.
I wanted to be used.
I wanted to be wanted for pleasure.
A toy for pleasure.
Pulling the blanket over me, I reached between my legs and fucked the dildo in and out of me until I came again, passing out with it inside of me.
It wasn't until a month later that I started getting manic.
I wanted to see him again.
Somehow it didn't bother me that I didn't know who he was. It was like it made it easier. I wanted to feel his cock hot and throbbing against my tongue, I wanted to sweat from the rough way he took everything he wanted from me. I wanted his harsh fingers against my throat and a belly full of his hot cum. It was all I could think about.
So...I started revisiting my old routine.
Going to the grocery store in the middle of the night.
Wearing the thinnest pajamas I had under my knee length coat.
Sitting in the stairwell on the landing where it happened.
Some nights I'd wait for an hour or more.
Other nights I'd gain a flash of clarity and rush to my apartment, embarrassed that I would even consider doing such a thing. I chastised myself on those nights, throwing my dildos in a drawer so I didn't have to look at them in shame.
But, I never stopped going to the stairwell.
I stopped jumping whenever I was sitting there and someone entered. My heart raced less when I would smile at people passing by while I busied myself on my phone. Some nights I'd talk to my phone like I was talking to someone while they walked by, doing the silent smile wave, pointing at my phone and nodding. Some nights I didn't even lift my face from my phone.
It wasn't until I followed the latter pattern, keeping my eyes on my phone as someone walked by. It was almost one in the morning, so I kept my voice muffled as if I was on the phone, the words drying up in my mouth as a package of cookies entered my vision.
I could hear my heart simultaneously stop and kick into overdrive within seconds of each other as I stared at the cookies being offered to me. They were the same ones I dropped down the stairs that night. I started breathing heavily as I put my phone in my lap, abandoning the ruse of the phone call before looking at the set of legs that were stopped on the same stair I was sitting on.
Time stretched out between us, neither of us moving. I'd spent weeks imagining this moment and what I would do and now that it was here, I couldn't think.
He shook the package in front of me and I reached up with a shaking hand, numbly taking the package. I brought the package to my lap, my heartbeat raging in my ears as neither of us moved. It wasn't until I felt him run his hand through my hair before tightening to the point of pain at the back of my neck did I realize that this was happening again.
Self preservation kicked in and I struggled against him as he pulled me where he wanted me to go, stretching my body across the incline of the steps before stepping over me, his other hand undoing his belt to free his raging erection from behind his fly. I panted hard, wincing as he pulled my hair to tilt my head back, opening my mouth to wipe the head of his cock against my lips.
Shudders wracked my body as the reality set in again.