I was displeased with my boyfriend.
Wait. Strike that. I was angry with my boyfriend.
Hmm. Still doesn't seem right.
I was going to castrate that lying, thieving, piece of rejected crap with a pair of blunt scissors, and then I was going to feed his damn testicles to him, covered in a sauce hot enough to burn out his lying tongue. I was beyond angry with him.
I'd gone down the street and, being short of cash, stopped by the ATM to withdraw a few dollars. The ATM rejected the request saying not enough money in the account. I was astounded. I should have had a couple of hundred dollars available. Had an unexpected payment gone through? I couldn't think of any that were due off hand. I requested a look at recent transactions and then I hit the roof.
I'd gone out on a date with Brian the previous night. He's a little tight where money is concerned so I offered to pay half. This is what I normally do and he normally agrees. (Like I said, a little tight.) Last night I was pleasantly surprised when he said he'd cover everything.
"Are you sure?" I asked him. "I don't mind paying my own way. I prefer it actually."
"Not tonight," he told me. "Tonight is on me. I've got it covered."
And it was. He paid for our dinner and drinks and he paid for the show we went to. I was quite flattered that he'd actually spend money on me. (It didn't help him get into my pants but I did feel a lot closer to him. Who knows what the future would hold.)
To get back to my account. All the costs of our meals, drinks, and show were right there on my account. He'd been using my card all night, charging everything to me. He must have lifted my card out of my bag and dropped it back in at the end of the night. He'd spent all my cash and I'd be going without for the next week until I got my next pay. Longer even, as some of the money in the account was to have gone towards my rent.
I wouldn't have minded so much if I had more money, or if he had less. He has a good job, a decent salary, and more in the bank than I had. He could have afforded the night out quite easily, especially if he'd permitted me to pay my share. Instead of that he'd raided my account. Oh, he was so dead.
I drove around to his house. His father's house, actually, as he was too tight to move out and start paying his own way. That drive was a masterpiece of self-control. What I wanted to do was drive there at top speed, ignoring all speed restriction and incidental nuisances such as red lights, but I didn't, carefully observing all the road rules.
I politely rang the door-bell instead of kicking down the door. I was controlling myself quite nicely. Brian answered the door, took one look at my face and said, "Oh, shit."
Apparently he hadn't expected me to find out quite so fast. Maybe he had intended to put the money back in my account. (Maybe, but I wouldn't hold my breath waiting.) As it was he saw my face, knew he'd been caught out, and then yelled as my fist landed on his nose, hard. His nose started bleeding but he didn't stand there arguing. He turned and bolted.
I walked sedately into the house. I'd leave all the screaming until I had him cornered. Unfortunately he ran through the house and into the kitchen. By the time I marched into the kitchen he was out the back door, still running, and moments later I heard his car door slam and he was out of there, leaving me standing in the kitchen fuming, and no-one to vent my anger on.
"You seem a little peeved," said a deep voice and I slowly turned my head to see who was talking. David, Brian's father, was sitting at the table, relaxing with a cup of coffee.
"FUCK OFF," I enunciated, slowly and clearly, not in the mood for some fool male to make fun of me.
"Ooh, them's fighting words," he said, and the wretched man was laughing, I just knew it. "Speaking of fighting, was Brian's nose bleeding, by any chance?"
"Yes. Hopefully it's broken," I snapped. "If it's not I'm quite willing to have another go."
"No, I don't think it was broken or he'd have been kicking up more of a fuss," David observed. "Have you two had an argument?"
"Certainly not," I said huffily. "He ran away before we could start arguing. Probably because he knows he's in the wrong."
"Ah, I see. I think. What did he do?"
"He stole all my money," I shouted. "I offered to pay my own way but no, he insisted on paying for everything. And he was paying for it all using my bank card, and he totally drained my account. That was so not fair. I've always paid my share and he said I didn't have to last night and that was because he was taking every cent I had."
To my great indignation I then burst into tears.
David moved around the table and sat on a chair next to me and drew me down onto his lap and held me while I cried. He didn't say anything, just rubbed my back lightly and held me and let me cry. When I stopped crying he suggested I tell him everything, and I explained it all.
"No chance that he used the wrong card by accident?" he asked me afterwards.
"No," I said with a sigh. "I should have realised last night when he just waved the card over the processor. My card is a swipe and go but Brian doesn't have one yet. He has to enter his pin number. He says it gives him more security, but he wasn't entering a pin number last night."
"I'd apologise for him but that's not my responsibility. It's his. I will, however, make sure he repays what he withdrew from your account."
"Only half," I told him firmly. "I'll pay my share the way I offered to."
"OK," he said. "Half. And he will pay it back, believe me. Please don't hit him until he has done so."
"Does that mean I'm free to hit him afterwards?" I asked sweetly, and he laughed.
"If you feel you have to but I suspect you'll have cooled down by then. I will have some very choice words to say to him. I am very disappointed."
I went to push myself up off his lap but his hold tightened slightly.
"Before you leave there's the matter of your own penalty," David told me.
"My penalty? What for? Brian deserved that punch on the nose." I was indignant. I'd done nothing wrong except trust my boyfriend. Punish me indeed.
"He certainly did and I don't begrudge you that little bit of revenge in any way. The problem is that when I spoke to you, you were very rude to me. Swore at me, even. My feelings were hurt, being abused in my own kitchen. I feel a small penalty would be appropriate."
Oh, yeah. I'd told him to F off. Not the most diplomatic way to speak to your boyfriend's father, even if he was now your ex-boyfriend.
"Ah, yeah, sorry about that," I said contritely. "I wasn't myself."
"Mm? Who were you? I'll paddle that young lady instead."
"That's a figure of speech and you know it," I grumbled. "I said I was sorry."
"Yes, I know. I heard you, and that will help mitigate the punishment. Now we just have to decide what it is. I was thinking I'd paddle your backside for you but maybe it's not appropriate."
"It certainly isn't," I hastily agreed.
"Yes. I mean if I paddled your backside I'd probably get all excited and make love to you afterwards, so I was thinking we'll save the paddling and go straight to the making love. I'm sure you'll be agreeable to that."
I blinked as that sank in. He was kidding, surely? He didn't really think I'd let him into my panties, did he?
"No, I am not agreeable," I said hastily.
"Ah, so just restrict it to a spanking, is what you think?"
Stupid me was nodding in agreement, thinking I was making a deal, and avoiding any chance of losing my panties.
I didn't get a chance to think it through and change my mind. David had me on my feet and then bent across his lap in nothing flat, leaving me giddy with shock at the speed he'd moved. I waited for his hand to land on my bottom but that's not what happened, was it?