The rev limiter red lined as I came screaming sideways around the corner.
I threw it up a gear to stabilise then dumped it back and punched it. My foot stomping the accelerator hard and rocketing me down main street.
They were on my tail and I had to lose them!
I'm fucking with you.
I don't know the first thing about drifting. I drive a Toyota Camry older than I am and the only thing I was trying to lose, by living out an obscure fast and furious fantasy, was the very recent memory of my sexy mum fucking her own throat on my almost foot long cock.
Don't think I'm bragging about my size either. It's necessary to mention because when I went to bed last night, I was packing my regular, every day 6 incher when hard.
See I live interstate. Have done for 4 years.
As soon as I turned 18 I started looking for houses and jobs away from my shitty home town.
I even made the move before a job came up. Risky I know but I had a lot in savings and was really thrifty with my money. I ended up going from as many as 3 to as few as.5 part time jobs at once just making ends meet.
It was rough and I missed rent more than once but I never considered going back to my home town.
A few months ago I finally landed a full time job on an amazing contract doing work I love.
Turns out all the hard work pays off eventually.
I've visited home several times over the years, Christmas, big birthdays like my mum's 40th last year. And I'm here right now for my little sisters 18th in 2 days.
She lives out of home at the moment too, in a girls dorm. Our mum hated the idea seeing as the dorm was still in the same city but little sis "needed to feel like an adult".
I'd come back to town a few days earlier to surprise her and help mum set up the party.
I got in late, gave mum a kiss and hug, had some small talk then went right to bed without unpacking. Only bothering to strip off and throw on just some PJ bottoms.
Then the weirdest fucking thing in my entire life happened very early that next morning in the form of being fully paralysed in my sleep, other than sight and sound, and getting my urethra assaulted by a Pixie. Who THEN used whatever she inserted into it to make my cock almost double in size!
Yep, you read all that right.
And to cap it all off, that same little Pixie bitch cast some kind of spell on my mum, transforming her into some kinda big titty bimbo and making her obsessed with my cock and the activity of draining my balls.
Then she paralysed me AGAIN so I couldn't stop my mother from achieving her goal!
Oh yeah the balls blew up in size too.
I went from a hard 6" with regular sized balls to 11" hard and balls like hen eggs.
And that leads us to here.
With me driving towards town at 6am trying to think of a blowjob better than the incestuous one I just received in an attempt to divert my own arousal.
And coming up fucking blank.
"I need a shower. I felt gross inside and out."
"Bullshit you feel gross you loved it you pervert."
I'd have passed that off as my internal monologue had it not been in the beautiful tone of a gorgeous young woman.
I looked to my side and did a dramatic double take trying not to veer off the road.
"YOU! YOU LITTLE FUCKING BITCH!"
Now I'm not normally violent. And if I were, women certainly wouldn't be the target.
But there's a certain quantity of bullshit one can handle before primal instincts lash out.
Plus I rationalised internally that this thing wasn't even a human let alone a woman.
Shit last I saw she was shorter than my cock and now here she was, head unable to reach the headrest on the passenger seat but more human sized anyway!
Thus, my arm lashed out toward her head.
Intent on grabbing it by the straight, shoulder length platinum hair and introducing it to the passenger side dashboard in as abrupt a manner as possible.
For the second time that morning I reached out for a woman and grabbed thin air.
(Go read chapter 2 if you don't get that one.)
"Goodness me I know these things are practically indestructible but do you really need to wait so long between services?"
She'd folded over, narrowly avoiding my hand to open the glovebox, taken out the service manual and was flipping through it.
I angrily shared my attention between her and the road before grabbing out again to, once again, clench a fist full of thin air.
She was leaning back in the chair with a pair of aviator sunglasses that I keep in the glove box perched on her tiny nose.
They looked both massive and stupid on her.
"Polarised. Swanky. Ooh what's this do?"
Leaning to the side and showing the back of her head to me she pulled the recline lever and her seat collapsed back just as my hand reached where the back or her head was.
"For fucks sake would you stay still and let me hurt you already?!?"
The seat had reclined enough for her small form to lay sideways on it, propping her head up in her hand. Her underside leg straight and her upper one bent at knee and hip to show off the curve of her little bubble butt in her shorts.
"Ooooh daddy, you promise?"
She cooed before spanking her arse with the service manual.
Predictably by this point, some glitter poofed out from this action.
Which made me even more angry cause anyone who grew up with a kid sister can tell you that glitter is bloody impossible to get out of anything. Especially fabric car seats.
"Seriously? This is what we're doing is it? What the fuck are you even?! Last I saw you, you were shorter than my dick and now you're 5 foot tall and shitting glitter all over my car seat like a unicorn with IBS!"
I slammed my fist down in a hammer grip and this time made contact!
Unfortunately the second I touched her, her entire body turned into those shiny metallic coloured, plastic cut out words that your one obnoxious friend always pours into Christmas and Birthday cards.
The outline of her body rained down onto the passenger seat and my fist slammed against the cushion making tiny little words explode all over the front of my car.
As I cursed and swerved all over the road I caught a glimpse of the word "Fuck You" in radiant metallic pink drifting majestically through the air.
Cute.
"Four foot six. And I prefer to think of it as 'Adding some sparkle to your day'"
Came her sing-song voice from right next to my face.
She stood in the space between the two front seats, leaning on an arm that was casually draped over the shoulder of my seat.
My sunglasses still over her eyes.
"You know what, screw this."
I swerved hard and pulled into a parking spot slamming on the breaks causing her to yelp, rock forward, then tumble backwards onto the backseat.
I could spy right up the leg hole of her stupidly tiny pale denim cutoffs.
