I was minding my nephew for a couple of hours. Seeing that the boy is ten this does not take a great deal of effort on my part. I just took off his leash and let him run wild in the backyard, where he was quickly joined by a couple of other young boys about the same age. As long as I could hear them I figured everything was fine.
Conversely, when I could no longer hear the boys I decided something was wrong and went out to check up on them. There was no-one in the backyard but I could hear someone speaking in the garage. I glanced in and Mike and Andy, the kid from next door, were over at my work-bench, fixing something into a vice. I strolled over to take a look.
When I got close enough to see what they were doing I heroically managed not to crap my pants while taking a hasty step to one side.
"If you don't put that hammer down nice and gently I am going to drop-kick the pair of you clean out of the garage," I said, speaking very firmly.
There were a couple of startled sounds but they had the sense to put the hammer down carefully. I promptly loosened the vice, catching the bullets they'd set in it. As far as I could tell they intended to hit the end of the bullets to see if they'd go bang. They were only .22, but they were still good enough to cause significant injury.
I pocketed the two they had in the vice and then snapped my fingers, silently demanding any more that they might have. Mike looked a little helpless and flashed a glance at Andy. I glared even harder at Andy and he reluctantly produced a little box of cartridges.
"You can't take these," he protested. "They're not mine. They're Suzy's."
Suzy being his big sister. I'd seen her around but didn't really know her well.
"Don't let it worry you. I'll make sure they get back to Suzy."
That seemed to worry him even more. I'll bet Suzy didn't know he had them.
With the ammunition secured I had a word with the boys, starting off by calling them purblind idiots and building up from there, finishing with threats of grievous violence upon their persons if I ever caught them being so stupid again.
Andy got defensive and pointed out that I wasn't his father and that I couldn't tell him what to do. I promptly slapped both boys alongside the head, hard enough to sting but not hard enough to leave a mark.
"Tell me," I said, bending forward to glare at Andy, "did my not being your father make that hurt less? Be told."
After that I ordered both boys inside, telling them they could play games inside until Mike was picked up. Andy looked as though he was going to protest but decided to go with the safe option and they trooped inside and were shortly yelling their heads off as they waged war.
Mike was duly picked up and Andy departed at the same time.
"You can tell Suzy that I will drop off her ammunition tomorrow," I told Andy. "Or not, if you so choose," I added, seeing the horrified look on his face.
I strongly suspected that not would prevail. He wasn't going to own up one second before he had to and if he was lucky he'd be elsewhere when Suzy found out, giving her a chance to cool down.
I tossed the box of cartridges in a drawer in my bedroom, confident that no little hands would find them there, intending to take them back to Suzy sometime. I also intended to give her the rough end of my tongue. The boys could have been hurt with those bullets. I then promptly forgot about them.
The next day was a Saturday and quite a hot day. Early in the afternoon there was a knock on the door and opening it I found Andy.
"We're going to the footy," he said quickly. "Suzy will be home if you want to give her her stuff. She's in the back yard."
Then he shot through and I saw him scrambling into the car with his parents. Yes, he certainly wanted the ammunition returned when he wasn't there. I smiled to myself and went and got the box and headed over to see Suzy.
I strolled around to see Suzy and found her in the backyard as stated, hanging up a few things on the line. A fine young lady was Suzy, and that was remarkably evident from the way she was attired. From the look of her she was intending to catch some sun-rays after she'd finished hanging up her few items of laundry and she was nearly clad in a very nice bikini.
"Afternoon, Suzy," I said affably.
She looked a little startled to find someone in the backyard with her. Also a little puzzled.
"I'm Brandon," I prompted. "From next door."
That's me. Once seen, immediately forgotten.
"Oh, right, I knew that," she said quickly. "Can I help you with something?"
"Sure," I said, taking the box of cartridges out of my pocket. "You can explain to me how come I had to confiscate these from Andy and my nephew yesterday. I know your dad keeps his stuff locked up tight and Andy was quite happy to dump you in it."
"That little bastard. Where the hell did he get these?"
"Um, that was my question, I believe. From you, according to him. Any suggestions? I assume that you're keeping your gun and ammunition locked away. I know your father is red-hot on gun safety."
Suzy almost snatched the box from my hand and went stalking over to the garage. I followed on behind, lounging in the doorway while she checked a rather formidable little cupboard mounted on the back wall of the garage. The trouble is, a lock is only good if locked, and the cupboard wasn't.
Looking slightly flushed she stored the box of cartridges and securely locked the cabinet.
"Andy must have got hold of the key," she blustered. "It's locked now. Satisfied?"
"Not really. It seems to me that you were just plain careless and I'm not at all happy about the situation. The boys were about to see if they could make those things go bang when I caught them. They could have been badly hurt."
I gave her the evil eye while she looked elsewhere, plainly wanting me to go away.
"It would, of course, be an act of complete bastardry for me to lodge an official complaint with the police," I pointed out. "I also suspect that telling your parents about this would have unfortunate consequences for both you and Andy. Now I've already dealt with Andy and my nephew so I see no need for them to get into any further trouble. You, on the other hand. . ." I let my voice trail away.
"What about me?" she demanded.
"Well, I think a little bit of negative reinforcement is called for. Something to give you an incentive to lock-up your guns properly. I'm not a monster, however, so I'll give you a choice. I can give you a spanking or I can have a quiet word with your father and let him handle it."
Hullo Cyclops and his killer eye of doom. I should have been blasted to ashes on the spot.
"Decisions, decisions," I murmured.
"Spanking?" I said, lifting one hand. "Father?," lifting the other. "Spanking, father?"
I raised a quizzical eyebrow.
"You said you weren't going to tell my father," Suzy protested.
"Ah, no. I indicated that I'd rather not tell your father. The choice would be yours."
"If I said spanking would you permit me to go and get some proper trousers on first?"
"Why would you want to? The bikini will come down a lot easier than the trousers. Save yourself the bother."
"What do you mean the bikini would come down?" she half-shrieked.
"Grow-up. Of course I'd want to spank your bare bottom. A touch more embarrassing for you and, I'll admit it, a lot more fun for me. But a spanking would be all that you're agreeing to."
She dithered and wouldn't actually say so but it was obvious what her choice was going to be. I didn't actually make her volunteer to get spanked. I sort of presented it to her as a feat accompli. Strolling over to her I took her arm and turned her to face the work bench.
"Just put your hands on the bench and bend over like a good girl," I told her and still giving me nasty looks she did so.
Suzy gave a little hiss of indrawn breath when I lowered her bikini pants but didn't say anything until she found that I was taking them right off.
"Hold on," she protested. "You only need to draw then down a bit."
"No," I said tapping an ankle to make her lift it. "If I left them halfway down and you start jumping around because your bottom is smarting you could trip over them and hurt yourself. Better to take them right off."
I stood back up and regarded her.
"Um, sorry, Suzy, but you look a little silly standing there with just your bikini bra. Better to take it off. You'll look a lot more dignified."