Always Turns Up

This is the third part of the sequel to my series "Bad Penny" which I published here a few years ago. That was a semi autobiographical story (enhanced of course for fun, names changed to protect the guilty).

A related series "If I knew then" is also referenced in this story. It is a fantasy based on what could have been in a perfect world. A third series, "Life Sentence" also gets a mention - it is an horrific nightmare inspired fantasy, in which Penny is featured.

I hope this story is readable and enjoyable as a stand alone, but obviously, if you read the first two chapters in this new series, it will make more sense. And it might make even more sense if you read Bad Penny to get the background. This series, as a sequel to Bad Penny, is of course also semi autobiographical. And all names are fictitious. But a great deal of it is based on the often unpleasant, and often quite interesting, truth...

"If you want a drink, please do have one. Tale telling is thirsty work." I said. "But I am afraid I can't. With my medication I can have the odd small glass of wine, but it makes me sleepy, and I would like to stay awake for this."

Penny ordered a Pimms, and I got more tea. Which at the roof bar of the Ritz Hotel in London is almost as expensive as the Pimms.

"So," she said, with a penetrating look "do you blame our adventures together on your illness? I know that some bipolar people list risky sexual behaviour as a symptom."

All I could do was shrug. "When I am high I am horney. And sometimes sex obsessed, yes. So probably some of that was present in the early days. I suspect that the first time we broke up and I went running around with other girls, that was all part of it. I am not shifting blame here. It is me that does those things, so it is in me to do them, but the disease does take the inhibitions off. It makes it almost painful not to engage in some sexual activity, so it isn't uncontrollable but it is easy to fall into temptation if temptation arises."

"Hmmn. It does explain some things that have puzzled me. I suppose the drugs knock that on the head though."

"Some of the ones I tried in the past killed my libido entirely. And erectile disfunction was a shocking side effect of one of the things I took for a while. I couldn't get it up for two years, and at first I was badly hit by that. No longer a man, you know? And being sexually overcharged had been so much a part of my personality that it was a huge blow to the ego, and to my self image. But after a couple of months as they increased the dose I was so zombied by the drug that I didn't really care. I didn't really care about anything. Ruth cared though. It was one of the things that drove a wedge between us." I hesitated a moment before adding, "Thankfully that isn't an issue with my current drugs. The only problem with them is that I sleep for ten hours and then am not really fully alert for another few hours even when lurching about half awake. And alcohol exacerbates that. One glass of wine with a meal is fine, but three drinks and I have to be carried out, unless I am on the high side of the cycle. Then I can have several."

Penny smiled and said "You were never really a morning person anyway. Indeed I remember it used be difficult to get you to go to bed at night. Unless it wasn't to sleep."

The look she gave me was intimately suggestive. I may have blushed. She sipped her drink, and said "Well then, Sean, should I continue with my tale? Where were we? Oh yes, I had just been sold to Leo. Tilly's uncle, although of course I was only allowed to call him Master, or, when in public, 'My Lord', which is the proper form when talking to an Earl. He outranked Tilly's father, who was a mere Baron."

"Now that I think of it I had skipped over that episode when I told you the short version. Frankly I don't much like to think about it, but I think it is important for me to tell you. Without it other things do not make sense. So, about Leo then."

She paused for a moment and plunged into the tale. "Leo was not a nice man. Nor a good one. I think I shall skip over most of the details of my time with him, because I doubt you would enjoy hearing about it. It wasn't desperately awful, for the most part, but it was tediously nasty. The first thing he said to me when we got in the car was "My niece tells me you have been disobedient, Slave. You will not disobey me."

He said it with conviction, and I believed him. I was terrified. He had whipped me before, when I was Tilly's slave, and had said then that he was not going to damage me because I wasn't his to harm, but he now had no reason to hold back. Indeed the journey to London to his town house was a good taste of what was to follow.

The drive was about three and bit hours, the last half through the outskirts of the city and into its heart, so for that section he gave me a sort of short cotton bathrobe to mostly cover my top half while still letting him put his hand inside, or underneath, easily. It was not to spare my blushes, just to prevent a passer by or other person in the traffic from calling the police. He had no qualms about Edwards, the driver, seeing me in my chains, or seeing what he did to me for the first half of the journey on country roads and the motorway. Edwards was Leo's general factotum. One might call him a "gentleman's gentleman" but really the term did not apply in any meaningful way to either of them. Partner in crime would be better.

At least Leo was not keen on anal sex. He used butt plugs on me, and had me use toys of various sorts in all orifices while he watched, but he didn't put his penis in my ass. Too fastidious for that. But he got Edwards to do that, two or three times a week, and Edwards certainly enjoyed it. Edwards generally didn't whip me, or choke me, unless he was told to, but he did like tying or chaining me up in uncomfortable ways. He liked pulling me up by my nipples and hair as well.

Of course many of his guests favoured buggery. Leo would normally have a guest or two each week, who sometimes brought their own slaves to swap, or perform with me, or to be punished. Some guests came as couples, sharing me, or watching one or the other with me. I knew some of their faces, although the only name I had for any of them was Master, or Mistress. They were politicians, or businessmen, a couple of celebrities from TV, actors, musicians; all of a certain age and class. One actress who was famous in the 1970s was a frequent visitor, she would hold me down while her husband fucked me, and she whispered in my ear, calling me all sorts of names. Quite a contrast to her frequent appearances on children's television programs. I once had the temerity to correct her, saying I was not a whore, I was a slave. Not paid but forced. I was punished a great deal for that.

But I digress. As we drove down the long lane through the estate and along the back roads on that first afternoon, Leo pulled upwards on the chains attached to my nipples, and told me to open my legs. He pulled up on that chain too, so it pressed roughly into my slit, and said "Did my brother in law fuck you?"

I was sensible enough to say "Yes, Master" without prompting.

"Did he whimper about his Nanny? Pathetic creature really. Didn't deserve my sister. But at least Matilda turned out well. Not sure of the boy though. Did he fuck you?"

"Yes, Master."

"You will have to tell me all about it, but first get my cock out and suck me."

Then he made me ride him, facing him, then facing away from him as he sat in the middle of the back seat. A Bentley is quite spacious. So I was facing the front of the car, lifting my legs up so Edwards had a good view in the mirror. After that he throated me again, and when I was suitably breathless, he took me on my back with my feet touching the roof. He didn't throttle me that time, but he did twist my hands behind my back, which restricted my breathing, and my movement, and was uncomfortable enough to make me cry while he just slammed me. He liked that. After a little rest, he put me across his knee and spanked me with a leather paddle, then took me doggie style on the back seat. Another of his favourite combinations. In between times he gently tortured me, verbally and physically, inflicting a little pain, talking to Edwards about the appalling things they might do, promising him that he could bugger me later, but he had to cane my bottom first, which he did. I was warned of a life of pain and humiliation. He lived up to it.

Once traffic grew too heavy and slow for privacy, he gave me the robe, but made me keep my legs open, and inserted one of those rabbit style dildos with the rotating beads section in the shaft. It had a remote control cord. So he spent the rest of the journey secretly tugging on my nipple chains and surprising me with the rabbit, making it spin the beads fast or slow, and accelerating it from a slow throb to a high buzz. He was really very good at it, and made me orgasm several times, but more often he took me close and dropped me at the brink, often by suddenly revving the thing up to overstimulate me, to induce discomfort, and using the chains to hurt me. I could barely walk when we got to his house.

That evening I was on in my knees almost all the time. Either crawling to serve drinks and snacks, or fetch things, or being used as a table, or being struck by various things, or being penetrated in every way, with objects and body parts. I was left chained to the radiator in the kitchen with a sort of dog bowl of water and some leftover food from their dinner. They actually ordered in from various local restaurants most evenings, so the food was good, although the portions were small." Penny shrugged and gave a dismissive smile, as if to try to minimise the residual pain.

""What a bastard," was all I could mutter.

"Yes. Quite. And so it went on. For months. There were little pleasurable highlights of course, some of the parties, some of the guests, some moments of relief for which I was grateful, as was his intent, as a means of exerting more control over me. The worst thing about it was the boredom. Being locked in a cupboard for hours when they went out was of course stereotypically boring, but the constant abuse was also mind numbing. Things I enjoyed doing with others, with Tilly, or you, or Mike and Tara, were no longer fun. Before I enjoyed the submission, the feeling of being free because someone else was taking charge. Now it was just no longer voluntary, it was repetitive drudgery, and demeaning. Even the fear became boring. And I was afraid quite often. With you, even with Tilly, I had never been truly scared. You would never do anything to harm me, and certainly not to harm me permanently. With Leo... he threatened to do things that would scar me for life, disable me, ruin my body. And I knew if I died he could just have me disappear, and even if someone found my body and could identify it, he would never be arrested.

Fortunately he didn't do anything that left very serious scars. Not physical ones. But after six months I was not in good physical shape. Exhausted, and just run down. I had spots, one of my teeth was broken and I am sure I had bad breath, I had repeated bacterial infections, because of the transmission of faecal matter to places it should not go, including frequent urinary tract problems and stomach bugs. Between that and the stress my digestion had broken down, and I was more or less in constant abdominal pain. I was lucky that Leo did not much approve of drugs, so I had only infrequently been given cocaine, heroin and LSD, and of course Ecstasy. It was the 80's after all. So I wasn't a junkie, but they didn't help my condition. I had lost a lot of weight. I was down to about forty five kilos, which is well into the unhealthy region of the BMI chart. I had just spent several days throwing up when my saviour arrived.

Nathan, Tilly's brother, came to visit. I wasn't party to the conversation, but he had seen me in the hall as he went into the study. He had stopped and stared, and I thought he looked angry. I thought he was angry with me. But then I was summoned to the study, and Leo simply said "Go and dress for going out, Girl, wait by the front door. Hurry."

And that was the last I ever saw of him. Thankfully. I do not know how the conversation had gone, by Nathan had obviously demanded my release, and must have had some sway but I rather suspect that Leo had just got tired of me in any case, and was happy to be rid of me. So Nathan took me back to the family estate, but this time I had my own room. Tilly was in America, and not due back until the end of the summer. I was given some clothes, and a doctor visited, several times. Daddy was shocked, and very kind, and came to see me every afternoon to take tea. He didn't make any advances on me. I am not surprised. I looked dreadful. Nathan took me to a dentist after a couple of days, so that got sorted out. And he supplied me with chocolates and cakes, trying to fatten me up. And he didn't try to get me undressed. Indeed after the dentists we went shopping for new clothes.

I was of course again in a mental whirl. Suddenly I had a name again. No one had called me by name in six months. Leo had never used it, and no one else knew it. Suddenly I was being asked if I minded, or if I wanted to, or if I would like, or would I please. Being back at Tilly's mansion, with memories of being a slave there, and the party at which I had sex with a dozen or so of Nathan's friends, was also a bit strange. Confusing. And I was almost certainly in some sort of shock or clinical depression after the months at Leo's. He had tried to annihilate my personality, and had done a pretty good job. But I slowly came around. Nathan had friends over, but apart from a little cannabis and the odd evening of loud dance music, they were not a debauched lot. They were all polite to me, and some were actually very kind indeed. So far as they were aware I was a friend of his sisters who had been ill and was convalescing.

I am not sure if any had been at the Halloween party nine months before. If so none recognised me, or at least none showed it. I suppose I didn't look very much like the confident she devil who had ruled the room. My hair was a lot longer, and I just looked sick. Without instructions to do something I just didn't do it. Nathan tried to get me to make decisions, which freaked me, and to structure my day for myself, and to get me to exercise a little. I was really in pretty awful shape. When Tilly had been my Mistress she made go to the gym every day, and I had been muscled and tanned and lithe. Six months of being kept indoors with no exercise apart from sex and being put in stress positions, and half starved as well, had wasted me.

But I got into a routine which was comfortable, and slowly began to recover. Which was helped a lot by Giles. Nathan called him Gilly, and he called Nathan "Wyrd". It took me some time to get the joke. Gilly was just a decent guy. He talked to me gently, and took an interest, and didn't pressure me at all. He encouraged me to do things, join the others, and take part. And he looked after me. And as I recovered and the antidepressant drugs kicked in, he helped me to reconnect with the world. His sister had been anorexic, and at first he thought that was my problem. I was after all so skinny. But I told him that wasn't it, that I liked food, I had just been depressed, and stopped eating. I was scared of Leo, and his friends, so I didn't tell him about that.

Gilly came up every weekend, and sometimes stayed for a day or two each side. We would read books in the library in companionable silence. Or take them out to the lawn if it was sunny. We walked in the gardens, and when I was strong enough we even walked to the village at the end of the drive. They had a post office come shop come café, and we sat and had tea and buns outside at a little table, and watched the traffic in the sunshine. I was sort of overwhelmed by it. The noise, the busyness, the life of it all. But a few days later he took me to a larger town, by car, and we went shopping. I didn't have any money of course, but Nathan gave me a couple of hundred pounds. I wanted some basic underwear and a pair of jeans, so we went to Marks and Spencer's. Gilly had been told by Nathan not to tell me what to buy, that I had to choose, but I was only looking at normal knickers, and ignored the whole range of lingerie around me. He asked me what size I was, and I thought nothing of it. We got the stuff I wanted, but on the way back to the car was a dress in the window of an expensive shop, and Gilly said it would look good on me. I laughed, the price was ridiculous, but he insisted I try it on, and when I came out of the booth to show him he whistled. He had never done that before. Never made any flirty remark to me, or talked about my appearance. So I was very flattered. And shocked when he said we would take it, and I should just keep it on. He paid for it of course.

What can I say? I fell for him. It helped that he was tall, handsome and clever, but he was above all kind. And undemanding. It was weeks before he kissed me, and that was just a peck on the cheek as he was leaving to go back to his parents one Monday evening. I spent the next four days in torment waiting for him. When he arrived on Friday evening I hugged him, and kissed his cheek, which surprised him, but then I took his hand and walked him into the house and talked with him about the week and what he had been doing, and the books I read, and ... well, I was alive again. But that was as far as it went.

In the last week of August he told me that he had to go away for a while. Business. Doing some work for his father, in New York, then Los Angeles and then Tokyo. And he asked me to go with him. Of course I said I couldn't, as I didn't have any money, and he laughed. He offered to pay for everything. A few weeks before I would have just said yes, but I was beginning to have some self esteem, or some desire for independence. So I refused. We argued, for the first time. He told me money didn't matter to him. He told me he had spent his life with people who didn't have wealth, and was fed up pretending he didn't. He wanted to spend more time with me, and to show me places he loved, and to explore new places, and he thought it would be more fun with me than by himself. He just wanted my company.

Something in me broke. I don't know what it triggered but I went a bit crazy. I screamed at him, and cried. I told him I wasn't for sale. I wasn't a slave, I wasn't a whore, I wasn't his to buy, or just to play with until he got bored, or, well, a whole lot of things. I raged at him. I told him he was just like all the others - and I wasn't going back there again. I wouldn't let him just fuck me, and throw me away. And then he was suddenly appalled. He was denying that he was like that, and he said "Who are you talking about? Who hurt you Penny?" And I told him.

Mostly about Leo, and his friends, and about Tilly, and a little about what happened to me in Belfast. I am afraid I didn't give you as generous a review as I should have. It was cathartic for me to spill it all out, but he was stunned. And it kept on coming, new revelations, new horrors. I told him in more detail than I want to tell you. Hours of it. We sat on opposite ends of a big sofa, and drank several bottles of wine, and every now and then I would stop, and he would ask if I wanted something to eat, and get me snacks, and come back and sit with me in silence for a moment and then I would tell him something else. I wanted to get rid of it all. I told him just how fucked up I was. How I had enjoyed some things, which was really fucked up, and endured others that just fucked me up further. I told him he really didn't want to spend time with me alone.