"All men are fucking assholes!" exclaimed Jenny as she walked into the kitchen.
Peter looked up from his cereal, spoon still in his mouth from the last bite he'd just taken of his breakfast. Jasmine followed Jenny into the kitchen and it was clear that they'd were already mid conversation.
"He's been cheating on you for the last month?" Jenny said to Jasmine, with a questioning tone.
"Yes, the asshole" replied Jasmine "with some blond bitch in the accounting department of his firm" she continued, turning on the kettle. "He didn't think I'd find out but, Shelly, you know my mate from college, saw him fingering her at the back of a nightclub last weekend. Knew I'd been seeing him, so she sent me a snap of them together."
"That total fucking asshole!" Jenny exclaimed.
Peter both felt awkward and sort of invisible at the same time as his house mates relayed the most private details of their personal lives. He'd lived with the girls for the last year since his best friend had decided to tie the knot with his girlfriend and buy a place of their own together. The other roommate went traveling and it had left him with a decision as this house was decently furnished, in a desirable neighbourhood, an easy commute to his work and reasonable rent.
He'd decided to advertise for two new house mates and had to interview a trail of weirdos with questionable hygiene and a few he was sure would certainly harvest his organs if he didn't bolt his door tight every night.
When Jasmine and Jenny had shown interest in the place it'd seemed like a godsend as both were stunningly beautiful, and at least an eight and a half on his hotness scale. Jenny was fair skinned with shoulder length brown hair, more than an ample pair of breasts and a shapely ass that seemed genetically engineered to demonstrate all the best qualities of Yoga pants.
Jasmine was ethnically mostly Indian and had a slender petite frame. She somehow managed to be both cute and smoking hot at the same time. Her black hair went halfway down her back, she had an infectious smile and the deepest of brown eyes.
Both girls come from money and could likely equally cruise through life on their looks, hooking a rich husband and living the trophy wife life.
Whilst Peter was under no illusions that they would all be having 'menage a trois' on a weekly basis, he had hoped they might introduce him to a female friend or by vague association might lift his credibility, giving his near non-existent love life a boost. At least, he'd thought it would be nice to occasionally appreciate having a hot girl to look at.
It turned out he'd been way too optimistic in even these modest expectations. Whilst the girls were stunning to look at and mostly paid their part of the rent on time, both were complete slobs, and the sink was always full of their dirty dishes. Don't even get started on the state of the shared bathroom, the innumerable bottles of beauty products or the amount of hair that was in the shower plug hole.
They also brought home a constant string of boyfriends who always managed to be richer, taller and better looking than Peter was, making him feel inferior in his own home. When the girls did talk around him, they seemed to treat him almost in an asexually manner, openly discussing the faults and behaviours of their suitors as if he was an agony aunt, gay friend or house plant. He'd once gone out with them for drinks and the girls attracted men like moths to a flame.
They never needed to buy their own drinks and when the group finally headed on to a night club, the bouncer had let them skip the queue whilst giving him a 'Your kidding, you are not with them' when he tried to follow in with them, then tossed him from the queue. The girls never noticed his absence.
Their discussions had initially given him enlightening insights into the female psyche. Yes, women could love sex as much as men did, but he soon tired of their gossip about other men and how much of a better time dating they were having. The girl seemed to competitively brag about how much men had spent on gifts for them, or how big their dicks were.
The current ex-boyfriend the girls were now berating was Ahmed, one of the least favourite pricks that Jasmine had been lately dating. On their brief introduction Peter had taken an instant dislike to the guy, city trader type and hairy like an ape. He was covered in more gold chains than Mr T and with enough grease in his hair to leave a mark on the back of the sofa and cologne so strong that lingered until the following day.
He gave a "Whats up Brooo" to attempt evoke some male camaraderie with Peter, then tried to crush his hand in an alpha male power handshake.
He'd instantly shared Jenny's now current assessment that this guy was a complete fucking asshole, long ahead of the time that his philandering nature had actually being revealed, not that either of the girls would have considered his opinion relevant in the slightest.
"So you told him to fuck right off then" Jenny told Jasmine. "You bet your sweet ass I did! He denied it all and was all, I love you babe and I would never do that to you! You're the one for me, bla bla...".
"He had money, was decent between the sheets and his cock was seven inches, but for the last month he'd been off with me and wouldn't go down on me even though I've just had a wax and you know how much that fucking hurts!".
"Told me I was paranoid" Jasmine continued as she made coffee for both of them. Peter had winced at these details like this was something he shouldn't have heard."
"Explained it all away as my imagination but continue to ask me to blow him, all the while he was boning that skank, just like all the other assholes out there. Men are so fucking useless!!!".
Peter quietly ate more of his breakfast as they continued Ahmed's character assassination. He was glad the guy was finally getting a modicum of his comeuppance, but their comparisons were doing neither him nor the rest of his gender any good either.
"Well I hope you took precautions with him" Jenny replied. "Well of course! I made him wear a rubber as I always do, he hated it and I've been on the pill the whole time. When I found out about that skank, I went straight to the clinic. Turns out I'm clean, thank God! Otherwise I'd be raining hell fire down on his ass right now" Jasmine replied.
He thought to himself that the toaster rack on the table in front of him probably was seen as more masculine than he was to these girls.
"So what now?" Jenny asked Jasmine.
"Dunno? It's Friday so I'll probably go to the bar tonight and get fucked" Jasmine replied.
"What? Alcohol fucked or on your back fucked?" Jenny responded?
"Who knows, may be both if I'm in the mood" Jasmine joked. "Wanna join me?".
"Sorry hun" Jenny replied regretfully "I've got that family thing all this weekend and heading there straight after work, otherwise I'd 100% be your wing girl" and reached over giving her a hug.
"Thanks babe, sure I'll find someone to get a drink with". Peter's inner voice screamed "ME! ASK ME! I'll comfort you" but he suppressed the urge as he knew it would have been fruitless.
Peter felt invisible to the two girls airing their intimate details in front of him. He was a 'solid five and a half' according to an overheard conversation when the girls had had too many glasses of wine. That had stung more than he'd thought.
He'd been nothing but nice to them but could have been part of the furniture for all they seemed to notice. Yes, probably fucking a flat mate might may things uncomfortable but nothing could be worse than the current situation.
The conversation continued for a few minutes berating the quality of men in the girls love lives that had wronged them, but not once touched on their seemingly innate ability to select the sleaziest and most unfaithful specimens from the dating pool. It was both infuriating and disheartening for Peter to feel he, and all men, were being lumped in with these fuckwits.
As if a girl as hot as either Jenny or Jasmine had shown a modicum of interest, he'd treat them like a princess, but all his recent Tinder dates had treated him more like a meal ticket and their profile photos should have been reported to law enforcement for false advertising.
