[Author's note: if you don't like to read about female domination, please skip to the next story, or check out my
other stories
for something that's more to your taste.
Through a series of counselling session with Cassie, his therapist, Quinn is trying to come to terms with how his wife Alena managed to transform him from her assured, overbearing husband into her willing slave. The first item on Quinn's list was denial, but Alena has interpreted it very differently to how he intended. Will he go through with what she's suggesting?]
---
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
Cassie checked through her notes while Quinn paced back and forth in front of the floor-to-ceiling glass windows of the meeting space.
"I'm up to speed on where we got to last session, do you want to sit down, and we can continue?"
Quinn continued to pace, shaking his head.
"Well, firstly, let me ask you this," Cassie continued, "How do you think it's going so far for you? Is it...?"
"Helping. Yes. It's helping."
"You seem a little on edge. Do you want to maybe come back to this later?"
"I'm fine. I'm...."
Quinn stopped and pushed his hands deep into his pockets. Cassie watched him looking out at the high-rise buildings, giving him time to shape his thoughts. She was surprised when he laughed.
"I'm just so absolutely desperate for it."
"For sex?"
"Yes. It comes in waves, sometimes I can go days without really thinking about it. Sometimes, it's like I should be on some kind of watchlist. I can't concentrate."
"Like today?"
"Exactly like today. I have to confess, and I don't mean to offend, but even right now I'm, uh...."
"Erect?" Cassie ventured.
"Within the confines of the cage, yes. I'm absolutely rigid."
He sighed. "Days like these, even a nice smile is enough to set me off."
"Have I?" Cassie asked, "I didn't mean to."
"It's not you, it's me. It's this cage, it's Alena, it's the last thing she ever did for me, or to me, or, I don't know."
"How long have you been in the cage now?"
"About nine months. Nine months since she died, since she sealed up an envelope with a set of notes and maybe the key, maybe not."
"How long had you ever gone before this?"
"A month, tops. Alena went away on a study tour. She made sure I was locked up for two weeks before she left, and then for good measure, she added some days on after. I thought my balls would explode, but this, Cassie, this is so much worse."
Cassie tapped on the keyboard, making notes, before she spoke again.
"You know, if it's interfering with your progress, I would recommend removing it."
"I don't have the key."
"It's probably in the brown envelope she sealed up. You could open that."
"I'm not allowed."
Cassie sighed, trying not to sound exasperated.
"Or we could look at cutting it off, or drilling the lock out."
"The drill would be best."
"So, you've contemplated it."
Quinn shook his head vigorously, "Sorry, Cassie, you're not getting it. I'm not allowed. I'm suffering, but Alena meant me to suffer. I don't have a choice."
"You always have a choice."
"She made the choice," Quinn snapped, surprising Cassie, "It's the last thing she did, and I will live with it."
Quinn had become agitated, running a hand through his close-cropped salt-and-pepper hair.
"I'm sorry. It's so unexpected, Cassie. Digging this all back up, it feels like ripping open a wound again. I was in tears for the rest of the day at home, after our last session. I got nothing done."
"No, I'm sorry."
"Not your fault. We're supposed to be digging into this, right? We need to extract the shrapnel."
Cassie paused, and Quinn looked across at her, inquisitively.
"You seem puzzled," he observed.
"No, not puzzled," Cassie replied.
"Then what?"
"Curious, I guess. I want to explore what you just said, or at least what was driving it."
"Okay. What do you want to know?"
"You said that she made the choice. Was that always the way? Do you think you had a choice?"
"Of course."
"No, I mean really. Do you think you were still able to make rational choices about the direction of your relationship?"
Quinn regarded her steadily. "You mean, did I lose myself?" he asked.
"Yes. The power dynamics of it all, there...."
"You mean I was always bargaining from a position of weakness," Quinn interrupted.
He fell silent, looking down at the floor for a long time, then he nodded to himself.
"I lost myself," he confessed, at last, "There were times when I got so caught up in it that I didn't make rational choices. Worse, I knew I wasn't making rational choices. Is that what you wanted to know?"
Cassie chose her words carefully. "There's a fine line between power play and abuse."
To her surprise, Quinn smiled.
"Ah," he rumbled, "That old chestnut. Yes, there is, I was well aware of that. Alena was certainly smart enough to know that too. There were points where a little bit more pressure, a little extra push, and she could have made me do anything. We danced on the edge a few times."
"And what happened?"
"She always pulled us back. She never crossed that line, ever."
Cassie cleared her throat, suddenly nervous to ask the question she needed answered.
"How do you know that?"
Quinn shook his head. "I don't understand."
"How do you know she never crossed the line? Your relationship position was reset several times."
"Because I'm not some mindless plaything, Cassie. Yes, she surprised me and blindsided me, kept me guessing, but afterwards I could play it all back in my head and see her plan. I knew what she was doing. This might sound like blowing my own trumpet, but I didn't get to where I am in my profession without being able to see multiple sides of the argument, even if they were antithetical. Lying awake in bed afterwards, in the dark, I battled with it endlessly."
"So, you were conflicted."
"I guess, but not in the way that you think. Sure, there was a voice telling me it was ludicrous to let my wife treat me that way, that I needed to stand up for myself, that she was smart enough to be conditioning me and I needed to watch out for myself, but then there was the other part."
Quinn broke off and looked down at his hands. He took a moment to finish his line of thought.
"The part of me that was just so tired, Cassie. The constant pressure to win, all my life. There was an awful case I worked on, just like another one years ago that I ended up needing to take stomach pills for, but this time, I opened the door at home and there she was, dressed in nothing but her stockings and those damn stiletto heels. She told me to strip, bent me over a chair, and slapped me hard on the buttocks a dozen times. Then, after that was done, she welcomed me home and asked me how my day was. You know what I said?"
Cassie shook her head.
"I told her that my day was good. I was standing in front of her with a glowing backside and my gorgeous sexy wife nude in front of me, and that was all that mattered. She lifted the weight, just like that."
Quinn shrugged, studying Cassie's reaction. "She knew when to push and when to retreat. I think I only ever used the safeword two or three times, in years. We knew what we each needed, and we trusted each other to never push too far. It was like freefall, with each of us holding the other's parachute cord. You see now?"
Without waiting for a response, he strode over to the chair opposite her and deposited his tall, gangly frame on the soft cushion. Quinn rolled his shoulders and took a deep breath.
"Let's go," he stated.
Cassie blinked, rousing herself from her thoughts.
"You're driving," she replied, "Where are we starting from?"
Quinn shrugged, raising his eyebrows.
"I guess the day after she said we were going to try denial. The first day of everything. After what we just covered, it seems like a good place to pick it up from."
---
The next morning, Alena was already up and out of bed by the time I awoke. Our discussion, and the night's activities, came back to me gradually, buffered by the after-effects of most of a bottle of red wine from the night before. I had to admit a certain amount of trepidation, knowing that I needed to broach the subject with her again to establish that we were going through the list, and that denial was the first item on the agenda. I realised that we'd locked it in without even so much as a cursory discussion about the mechanics of it. I had no idea of the rules of engagement.
I hauled myself out of bed and remembered that I was still naked from the night before. The memory resurfaced of Alena beneath me, her body moving under mine, and I felt a twinge of desire surfacing. I hopped into the shower quickly, pulled some clothes on and then went to find my wife.
Alena was in the back garden, sitting at the outside table with a coffee and her phone, scrolling aimlessly. She looked up as I appeared.
"Morning, sleepyhead," she grinned.
"Any coffee left?" I asked.
"Sure, I could do with a refill too."
Without thinking about it, I took her mostly empty cup and retreated into the kitchen. I put the cups under the machine and pressed the buttons, waiting while the machine hissed and steamed. I was thinking about my wife, outside. She seemed happy. It had to be a good sign.
I brought the coffees back out and took a seat at the table.
"What're you reading? The news?"
"No," she replied, "I've moved onto other things."
"Such as?"
"Research."
"Doing work on the weekend?"
Alena put the phone down on the table and those blue eyes fixed on me. She was sitting there like she had done a hundred times before, in a baggy top and leggings, her auburn hair dishevelled in a tangled halo around her pretty face. My eyes drifted down to her crossed legs, noticing the way the tight leggings showed off her body.
"Like what you see?"
"Uh, yes. Of course."
"Enjoy it."