Joey had asked for some time off that next week, which meant I got to work with Robbie more on the night shift. I was somewhat relieved; Joey's actions had me reeling and not having to see him for a few days could help me sort out my thoughts.
Later that night, Robbie and I were closing the store down, laughing and talking as we usually do. Robbie was being flirty with me, which was nothing new. We were great ones for dirty jokes, comments and sexual innuendo. I always felt comfortable with Robbie.
I was in the back finishing up my paperwork, with Robbie waiting on me. He had finished up and clocked out moments ago, but refused to leave with me in the building alone. Joey usually did the same thing. Most guys their age don't care about my safety, they just want to go home right away and they whine if I ask them to stay and walk me out.
Robbie leaned against the doorjamb, watching me intently. His gaze was making me uncomfortable, so I joked, "You find this entertaining?"
He smirked at me. "Yeah, you're so hot with that pencil in your hand."
He hesitated, then said, "What's up with you and my brother?"
I could feel my face turn red and I looked up at him. I really had no idea what to say.
"I guess I'm kind of, attracted to him," I mumbled after a moment.
He took a step toward me. "What about me?" he asked, serious for once. "Are you attracted to me?"
I was surprised. Robbie must be jealous, I thought. I spoke quietly and truthfully.
"You know I love you to death, Robbie. I trust you more than anyone, really."
He took another step towards me.
"Then how come you don't make out with me late at night after everyone has left?"
The words came out rather harshly, and if I had felt embarrassed a moment ago, I was praying for the floor to open up and eat me alive just so I wouldn't have to answer his question.
I looked into his soft brown eyes, seeking the warmth and friendliness I always found there, but it was nowhere to be found. Robbie's jaw was set and he looked almost angry.
"I didn't kiss Joey, he kissed me. And I'm not going to let him do it again; he just kind of pushed it on me." I felt a little guilty for placing all the blame on Joey; after all, I had enjoyed it and enabled his actions.
Robbie leaned over and put his hands on my shoulders, and leaned in to kiss me. I pressed my lips tight and turned my head to stop him. I wanted to kiss him so badly, but I couldn't. I had already let Joey have his way with me. If I kissed Robbie, too, and let him touch me, I'd look like a total slut. I had already messed things up so much, and I couldn't let it get any worse.
"No, Robbie," I said softly. I didn't want to look at him.
He said nothing and walked away. When we left for the night, he didn't even look at me; just got in his car and sped off with the tires spinning. I sighed as I climbed into my car and lit up a cigarette. I felt terrible. I felt guilty and a little ashamed of myself.
I shouldn't have let Joey kiss me or touch me, no matter how good it felt. I was concerned that one of them would go back and say something, and I could lose my job. I had a requisition in to switch stores anyway; I was trying to get on as store manager at a location a little closer to home. All I could really do now was hope that they'd take me up on the transfer, and then I could leave all this mess behind.
The next few weeks passed. I had to work with both Joey and Robbie equally. Joey was no different than he always was, while Robbie remained sullen and icy towards me. He would still do as I asked him, but he made no attempt to talk or joke with me. My heart broke a little when I realized things wouldn't be the same between us. In a way, it was a good thing; on the other hand, I felt like I had lost a friend.
It was a Sunday night. Joey and I were working together, uneventfully so far. I was almost convinced that things were all back to normal and maybe I wouldn't have to transfer stores after all.
It was time to lock the doors and I was in the middle of counting something.
