Bjorn had not realized that he was holding his breath until she nodded her head slowly once more. His head was spinning whether from lack of oxygen or how fast things were moving. Nothing about this night was going as he planned. He had honestly meant to take things slowly. To just talk.
And they had talked. Far longer and later than he had planned. It would be dawn in only a couple of hours and he would need to be back on deck. Now the question was...did he stick to his original plan and end this night holding her while they slept...or did he give them both what their bodies wanted so damned bad?
One problem...his responsibility to protect, care for and look out for her best interest did not rest in his little head, but with his big one. He needed to make absolutely sure this was not something she would regret later. "Talk to me, Kirsty," he commanded. "Why?"
He saw those huge tears gathering in her eyes once more and felt like a real bastard. Why did he have to push her? Why couldn't he just take what she offered? Bury himself deep inside of her and let tomorrow bring what it may. Because you love her, idiot...and because you want her to love you back one day. And taking advantage of her right now won't make that any easier.
He shook his head, "Not tonight," he whispered as he tried to roll away from her.
He could not when those long legs wrapped tightly about his waist. How often over the past few months had he thought about that very same thing? The only thing between them right now was his jeans and those were painfully tight.
Her hands clutched his shoulders. He could actually feel her short nails biting into his skin. He had dreamt of that too. But in his dreams, she was coming hard around his cock. Why was he being such a fool?
Those big eyes stared up at him, "You told me not to run. Well, who is running now, big guy? You think I don't know what I want? You think I will regret this tomorrow? Well, here is some news for the big bad Dom: I am a big girl. And if I do that is my right, I'll deal with it. But in this moment, I want to try. I want to believe even if it is all lie, I want to live out a fantasy."
She inhaled deeply and lifted her head, her mouth found his shoulder and her teeth nibbled along the ridge of it, "I want you, Bjorn. I want to go dizzy with your hand around my throat...as I look into your eyes...just like I read about in all those stupid books. And I want to feel your hard cock inside of me. I need to come."
No words could have been more certain to ignite his darkest needs than those. "Come for me? Are you willing to surrender those too, my love?"
She frowned, "What do you mean?"
He was the one spiraling out of control then. This training he had meant to withhold for a while. He had wanted to be certain that this would work before beginning it. He had never done it with a partner, but had spent years studying the process.
He had been deeply touched by a post in the online forum he followed. It was written by a sub, who discovered that she could no longer orgasm at all, after her Dom left. It had changed how he saw this forever. Oh, he still craved it...maybe even more. But now he feared it too. If...no, when, they went there, it was as binding, more binding, on him than her. He could never, would never do that to anyone, let alone the woman he loved.
To begin this now...from their first encounter? It committed him to her, not that he was not already. But it committed him to her above all others. Above his brothers, his mother, himself. He would have questioned his own sanity, except he knew the answer already. He wanted nothing half way with her. "Orgasm control and conditioning, Kirsty. I want to control those too. I want all of you."
She shook her head, "I still don't understand. Of course, I want to come with you...for you."
"No, sweetheart, more than that. I want total control...you won't be able to orgasm at all without my permission," he explained.
She chuckled, "How is that even possible?"
"Your mind and body will become so cued to my voice, to my words that without my permission you simply will not be able to. We will have a special trigger, my sweet Freya." Though she did not realize it he began the process with the words that he had chosen just for her. "Those words will be so powerful that your body will react...even if I am not with you. Just those words from me and I can give you the same pleasure my touch can," he explained.
She inhaled, "Now that one seems more fantasy than anything in my books."
He shrugged, "But it will happen between us, my love. For tonight, we keep it simple. When you feel your body on the edge hold back, ask my permission first. Can you do that? Can you do that with my cock pounding way deep inside your wet pussy? Can wait just long enough for me to whisper...come for me, my sweet Freya?"
He saw the way her eyes widened at his deep tone and erotic words. She might not realize it yet but his beautiful wife would be so fucking easy to train. She seemed to crave the darkest recesses of his mind almost as much as she desired his body.
And there had never been any doubt that he craved hers. He decided then. He would take this as far as she allowed...and then push her just a bit further. More importantly, he would assume full responsibility for it all. She might think that she had the rights to her regrets, but even those would become his too. Honestly, he already had. It was he, who had convinced his brothers to capture a bride. It was he who choose her. Was she not fully his responsibility then?
"Hands above your head, Kirsty. Have you heard of honor bondage? Sven may love his rope. Mikael might like those nasty damned cuffs. But I expect more from you. The only thing that you will need to bind you is my words. Do you understand me?"
She nodded her head and stretched her hands as far above her as she could. He bent close until his mouth was next to her ear. "You forgot something, sweetheart. 'Yes, Master,' say it, Kirsty. If you want these little games to continue, if you want my hand around that pretty little neck, my cock inside your tight twat, then say...'Yes, Master.' "
Her quick intake of breath told him that he had struck a chord even before her breathy, quivering, "Yes, Mas-ter."
"Good girl," he whispered as he bite into her ear lobe. "Just so you know, you and Sven aren't the only biters."
He leaned back so that they were once more eye to eye, "But I think this all began because someone wondered if I kiss on the first date. Let's start there, shall we? Then see how it goes from there." He winked, "If you survive one of my kisses, that is."
He held her gaze as his hand covered her throat once more. The pressure was gentle, but this time he was not simply resting it there. He needed to gauge her reactions, see if she truly could manage this level of intensity. "Very good, my love."
He slowly lowered his head. His pressure on her throat increasing with each centimeter of distance he came closer to her lips. He watched her face, studied it intently. He held her gaze, checking for the least sign of alarm.
What made him proudest was that when most women might have been tempted to fight, to scratch and claw at his hands, her arms remained above her head as securely as if they were tied there. Not that they ever would be when they played these games, it was another level of his fail safe. As was holding his own breath to get a better feeling of what she was experiencing. And the burn he was beginning to experience in his lungs told him it was time. Time to intensify these games.
He covered the small distance between them quickly. Her eyes closed in anticipation of the kiss, "Not this way, my love, open those eyes. I need to see that you are with me every step of the way. Understand me?"
She nodded her head as her eyes opened to look up into his once more. He captured them as surely as they had captured her. His mouth touched hers. Lightly at first, his tongue traced her bottom lip and it opened for him. His head was getting lighter now. Was that from the lack of oxygen or from the power she was surrendering to him? He wanted more. He wanted to drag this game out longer. But he would not. Would not risk it. He would rather pull back too quickly, leave her wanting more, than frighten her this first time.
His mouth covered hers, his tongue scraped her teeth as he inhaled deeply, drawing what little oxygen remained deep in her alveolar into his own. He held it there for a moment savoring the taste of her, the taste of her surrender. His eyes moved over hers. Her pupils began to dilate a bit as the reality of it all, as fear, dawned upon her. He breathed back into her. His breath, their breaths mixed together. They were one and the way that all tension flowed out of her body then told him that she had felt it too.
He slowly released the pressure of his hand about her throat but he left it resting there as he drew back until her whole face and not just those expressive eyes came into focus. "That was perfect, my love. You were such a good girl. So trusting, so fucking submissive." He brushed her hair back out of her face as he smiled at her, "Are you okay?"
She shook her head and he frowned in alarm until a brilliant smile lit that beatific face from within, "Okay does not begin to cover it. Neither does your intense. That was fucking amazing. Do it again," she pleaded.
Bjorn chuckled, "Not now, maybe once more later. But one thing too many people don't do right is they don't allow their partner's oxygen levels to replenish themselves. They keep doing it over and over again. Pushing the envelope and that is dangerous. I enjoy walking lines, not stepping over them just to see if I can get away with it this time. Remember I am playing with the most important thing in my world...your life. And big boys never want to break their toys."
He did not like the pouty look on those luscious lips and said so, "No topping from the bottom. You wanted something. You asked politely like a good girl and unlike some Doms I do not consider asking for what you want topping. But I told you no...and I explained why. Let it go now or I will punish you. And I would hate to end this perfect first date with a punishment, wouldn't you?"
She nodded her head again and blushed, "So I can ask for what I want? I won't get in trouble for that."
