Admit It

I was in your house, waiting for you to get off work when I got a call. You told me to have myself tied up and in bed by the time you got home.

So, of course, I did this, and did it well. I could have gotten out if I tried but it would've taken me a while, and I'd have had to be calm to do it, not panicking. I was waiting naked, under a sheet, and I fell asleep.

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I hear you come in, but there's something weird about it, talking on the phone? No, there are other voices here...male voices...I start to panic. Maybe I misunderstood somehow, or maybe they're just here to pick something up and leave.

When I see you come into the bedroom and shut the door, I'm very relieved.You pull back the sheet, checking that I'd done like what you asked, making sure my wrists were tied tightly together in front of me. Then you kiss me, running a hand over my skin, sending me into chills of anticipation, despite my worry about the other guys. Surely they'll leave soon and we'll be left to ourselves.

Then you look at me and tell me that you've thought something up, something I'll like but which will be tough. Will I trust you? I breathlessly say "Yes."...

But you say "It doesn't matter, it's happening anyway," covering me back up and leaving the room, with me in a panic again.

I hear you talking to the guys in the other room for a while, but I can't make out what anyone is saying. Eventually the door opens again, and my momentary relief is replaced by confusion and worry when I see you standing there with three guys I don't know. They look a little nervous, but you don't, so I just stare, not brave enough to speak.

One of the guys asks, "Are you sure this is OK?"

In response you walk over, and slowly start pulling the sheet off me. I panic, trying to grab at it even though it's impossible with my wrists bound, just trying to stay covered. You slap me across the face and toss the sheet away. I stare at you, trying to will some sort of telepathy into working. Why are you doing this? What's going on?

You look to the guys and say, "You can slap her around, but don't seriously hurt her". They still look unsure, so you walk over to me, force my legs apart, and feel between them. My face turns bright red, I hadn't realized I was excited at all.

"She's dripping wet, see? She's gonna say "No", and fight you, but she wants it."

You walk out, leaving me. I start to panic, trying to get undone, but the guys are faster, their nervousness gone, either because they are alone now, or from that last reassurance. They're on me, holding me down while they get ready, and finally I find words to speak, I start pleading "No, don't do this, you don't have to do this!", tears forming at the corners of my eyes.

The tallest guy pulls me around til my head is hanging off the edge of the bed, and I start trying to fight. I get a hand free, but I'm immediately pinned down. The tallest guy slaps me and tells me to open my mouth, rubbing his cock against the side of my face. I just whimper, and he slaps me again, while one of the other guys who I can't see pinches my nipples, hard. I cry out in pain and surprise, the tall guy takes that opportunity to shove himself into my throat.

"You better not fucking throw up," he says and starts fucking my mouth. I'm concentrating very hard on breathing and not throwing up, when I feel my legs being pulled apart. I try to fight it, but there's just no way.

I feel fingers exploring my cunt, "She's sopping wet, more than before," says one of the guys I can't see, then my legs are pulled into position just as the tall guy pulls out of my mouth.

"You like this?" he asks.

"No!" I reply.

"That's not what your cunt says...you like it. You want more?"

"No," I say, "let me up!"

He laughs and someone starts fucking me, hard, but I can't see who. I try to move and get away, but it's impossible. I feel it start to happen, and I'm dreading it, but my hips start to move, and I'm getting excited. They notice, and laugh. I'm embarrassed, but I'm getting close, and I just want this to keep going when suddenly it stops.

I open my eyes, confused and the tall guy leans down, "Beg for it," he says.

I cry, and say "no, I can't."

"You want it, so ask for it." He growls at me, sounding impatient. I try to get my thoughts around this, get the courage to speak up when he slaps me, "Say it!"

"Please," I say.

"Please what?" He looks at my face and for a second I meet his eyes, but then turn away, face glowing with shame.

"Please don't stop..." I can only manage this much before a sob catches in my throat.

In a mocking tone, he says "Don't stop...what?" while running his hand along the side of my face.

I cry out in frustration, unable to say the words, the only sympathy I get is another slap. "Don't stop fucking me," I say. He laughs, "Is that what you like? The fucking? I don't think so. You like something else about it..say it."I shake my head, crying. He slaps me several times, punctuating his words, "I'm (slap!) fucking (slap!) tired (slap!) of waiting (slap!)"

"Please.. don't stop..don't stop raping.." just saying the word sends electric shivers through me, but before I can finish I'm getting fucked again, too hard, it hurts, but I'm getting close again, I cry out and the tall man takes the opportunity to start fucking my throat. Weird strangled noises are coming out of me, and I'm about to explode, and having trouble breathing... when it happens it's intense, my body shakes all over and I pass out.

I wake up, in a different position, my face sticky and wet, being fucked by what I assume is the third guy, while the first two watch. I immediately try to get up, start crawling off the bed, escape, but they're too quick and pin me down on my stomach before I can get far. "Stop acting like you don't want it," someone says, I can't tell who. My legs are being pulled apart, and I start twisting trying to get away, but it's no use. I'm screaming for help, and you walk in, but just lean against the door frame, watching.

I feel someone on the bed between my legs, but I can't see anything aside from you because I'm so tightly pinned. The guy starts fucking me like before, but when I start to move with him, pulls out. "Beg," he says. This time, looking at you, our eyes locked, there's no hesitation. I completely give over to this, and start begging for them to do whatever they want, just so long as they don't stop. I feel him get close, but he just rubs around my cunt with the tip - I lose it, I start really asking for it, not prompted at all. I feel him at my ass this time, and he starts suddenly fucking me, roughly, with no easing into it. I cry out in pain, but it's not long before I start to enjoy it. He pulls out before I get off, rolls me over and comes all over my chest. I'm whimpering because I'm so close, but they are clearly done with me. I'm sweaty and gross, but begging wordlessly for more.

From behind me, I hear you say the thing I'm somehow most scared of. The only thing private left to me. "If you want it, play with yourself."

"Please, please no," I say it over and over.

You walk over to me, grab my hair and make me look at you, "Do it," you say.

I'm looking at you, hoping you'll hear my thoughts, "not this, it's too personal, I don't want to let them see."

As if you're reading my mind, you say "I don't give a fuck", and move my hand where it should be. "Do it." I start to move my fingers, eyes closed, tears streaming down my face, breathing hard.

The guys are calling me names like whore, and slut, and that helps, I start to get close, feeling like the room is disappearing, loud sounds coming out of me, and then finally it happens, and I nearly black out again. You tell them, "I think we're done," and start walking them out while I just lay there, sweaty and disgusting.

When you get back, you take me to the shower to get me clean. Your hands are tender, rubbing the sore areas of my skin, cleaning the filth from the room away from the surface of me. But your words are anything but tender, prying into my head and demanding details I don't want to give. How was it, what did I like? You catch me when I lie and make me tell you again, admit to you again, what is so hard for me to vocalize. I wanted it. All of it. Even this, now.