Addicted

"This body wants to be used." The words hung in the air. I sat demurely on the concrete table of the skate park with my knees together, my hands in my lap, and my eyes lowered.

Of course, my small breasts remained on display. My jacket and blouse hung open. My bra lost some time ago when these six men had violently used my pussy and my head as a semen dump. There was nothing demure about me this evening. Tonight I was giving in to my addiction. Ever since I hit thirty and still single I have become more and more addicted to violent, dangerous sex.

In the real world I am a respectable, professional woman with a good job and a happy life.

In my secret world I spend many evenings masturbating. I love my body. I love to caress my small breasts, to tease my neck with my fingers. I luxuriate in the bath paying great attention to my legs as my hands roam up to my centre. I love my pussy, my kitty cat. I stroke it often, sometimes in the bath, sometimes in the living room of my condo—I leave the curtains open, but the lights off. That's usually the extent of my daring.

I also love to read erotic fiction. Many of my masturbation sessions begin with reading a few stories. Of course by the end I need both hands and the laptop is long forgotten, although the images of the stories remain vivid as I orgasm.

I love to read about women who give up control. When I come, I usually fantasize about being taken roughly by many men, by dirty men. I like the idea of being degraded, used. I have so much control over people in my real life that I enjoy giving up that control in my fantasies.

And, in the last couple of years, I have started to give up that control in the real world too.

I call it my addiction.

Once or twice a year I leave my comfortable condo behind and head out to degrade myself in the real world. I do it when my desire to be used gets so strong that I can't function anymore. I can't focus. I can't concentrate on anything except for the fire between my legs. When my desire is strong I am in a constant state of arousal. This causes me to masturbate constantly, and of course when I masturbate I think about going out into the real world and being used. The cycle builds until I find myself out there, getting fucked around by strangers.

And it has to be strangers. And it has to be dangerous. I tried picking up some guy in a bar and bringing him back to my place, but it was so unsatisfying, and besides I couldn't take all the small talk. I needed to be ridden. I needed to be a thing, an object whose purpose is to service. The risk of disease and of physical harm was all part of it. Once I started my journey I didn't stop until I hit bottom. Sometimes I wake up naked in some back alley. Sometimes I find myself alone in a hotel room. At the end I am always hurting, scared, and alone.

I take this journey not for the destination, but for the voyage. I can't describe how alive I feel in the early stages, when the danger is just around the bend. At that point I feel more alive than any other time. And it begins, when the first cock enters my body, I suffer it all for that sweet moment.

I am addicted to it.

"This body needs to be used" I said.

"Really" said the leader "you need more of what we just gave you?"

I nod without looking up.

"What more do you want?"

I look up.

"Well?"

"Anything" I whisper.

"Anything?"

Again I nod looking down that the leader's shoes.

There was a pause. I could see the guys shuffling their feet. The leader spoke up "Do you have any rules?"

I thought about this for a moment and then held up one finger.

"One rule?"

I nodded.

"What is it?"

Once again I felt the rush of adrenaline. I knew this last fucking was only a prelude. I knew the next word that I spoke would push me much further down.

I looked up, "Obey" I said.

"Well then, this gets even more interesting" the leader said. "Stand up and cover yourself up. Put your shoes on."

I stood up and pulled my blouse and jacket together as best as I could. I smoothed down my skirt and slipped my pumps back on.

"Good girl. Now turn around, spread your cheeks apart and jam a finger up your ass."

I slowly turned around. My ears were ringing as I bent forward, my heart beating faster, and pulled my butt apart. There was enough slime that my finger slid right in to my ass. I held it there waiting.

"Okay, you can stand up. I was just testing you" the leader chuckled. "Follow me." The leader turned and headed back up the path I came down before all this started. I followed. The other five guys fell in behind me. One of them grabbed my ass. His finger pushed its way easily into my pussy. Then he slid his fingers into my ass. I didn't stop walking, but I didn't resist at all either. The fingers slid out.

We walked out of the park and into the subdivision. The guys all carried their skateboards. I thought they were a bit old to be skateboarding, but that was of no matter. We came upon a small, new bungalow. It was as cookie cutter as all the rest of the houses in the subdivision. Inside it was nice, but messy.

"Take your shoes off and go kneel in the centre of the living room" the leader said without much emotion. I complied.

The guys all shuffled into the kitchen. They came into the living room each with a beer in hand and lunged casually on the couches. All eyes were on me. It was quiet.

"I want to tell you just what you've gotten yourself into my pretty" the leader said. "Our little gang here is an informal divorce club. We were all buds growing up. We are all successful, but we all fucked up when we got married. Over the last couple of years we went in together and bought this house and the bungalow next door. The six of us live here cheaply—we are all paying for our mistakes. We made a pact that none of us would get girlfriends until our divorces were paid for. We all decided to take a break." The leader received nods of approval from the gang.

"That's not to say we aren't interested in sex. We are always trying to pick up girls for some quick fun. And tonight, it looks like we picked up you."

"You have already fucked and sucked us all and you told me that you needed more. Well, we all have a bone to pick with women, and I think tonight we will just keep right on taking our frustrations out on you." There were more nods of approval.

"And for starters, I think I'm up for round two, what about you guys?"

The other five grunted and giggled, and murmured their assent. One of them said, "Strip whore."

I slowly unbuttoned my jacket and blouse. They slid slowly off my shoulders. I stood up and unzipped my skirt. I stepped out of it and knelt back down on the floor.

The men slowly moved in towards me, shedding their clothes along the way. They were a group of white, middle class guys. They were a little soft around the middle, but in the real world I likely would have dated any of them.

One of them grabbed my hair and threw me down. "Let's see that ass girl! Spread those legs."

My cheek burned a little as it hit the carpet, and my eyes teared from the pain from my hair. But I recovered. I pushed my head into the floor, spread my knees and thrust out my ass.

"That pussy is pretty nasty!" one of them said.

"You can still see the jizz leaking out of this pig."

Smack! Someone spanked me. Smack! Smack! It was repeated.

Then a finger dipped into my pussy and then plunged into my anus. I grunted and tried to shift away from the pain. The finger withdrew.

"Oh no you slut. Don't move away from me!"

Smack!

The finger once again slopped into my pussy. This time I tried to relax as it jabbed into my ass. It burned. It hurt. I grunted like a pig. The finger pushed into me repeatedly. Occasionally the guy would dip back into my pussy. Soon my ass was taking the finger fast and easy.

The other guys wandered over and stood around me. One of them put their bare foot on my cheek and ground my head into the carpet. Others laughed. The guy finger fucking my ass was getting into it and my knees and forearms started to burn as they rubbed back and forth into the carpet.

"Suck my toes bitch!" The foot slid from my cheek to the floor in front of me. My mouth opened with a grunt and I started licking the toes. My body was responding to the degradation. My nipples were hard and my pussy was feeling great. I needed to come. It seemed like ages since my last orgasm. My tongue continued to dance over the guy's toes.

The fingers pulled out of my ass. My pelvis bucked back looking for more. I was rewarded with a cock pushing its way into my sloppy pussy. I loved being the slut. I was close to coming. I started sucking hard on the toes in front of me.

Someone reached under me and pulled at my right nipple. I was on fire. I rocked into the cock. I moaned at the pain in my breast. I pushed my face into the foot in front of me. I was about to come.

Then the cock pulled out and pushed hard and fast into my ass. It fit, but the pain deadened my pending orgasm. I was frustrated.

But it only took a few strokes for the cock in my ass started to feel good. My orgasm started to build again. Someone else pulled at my other tit. "Oh yes!" I said. "Use me, I'm going to come!"

I kept bucking into the cock in my ass and, finally, I came. I stuck my tongue out under the guy's foot and moaned loud as my pussy contracted, sending liquid gushing out onto the carpet. The cock in my ass pumped faster and the hands at my tits pulled in opposite directions. I was a whore. I was loving it.

The cock pulled out of my ass and the guy shoved me hard. I skidded awkwardly over on my shoulder and ended up half way through a somersault, head down and looking back through the legs of the guy whose foot I was sucking. I could see the guy who was just fucking my ass. He was angry.

"What the hell was that? You just splattered all over the carpet! You love this, don't you—the nastier the better. You are a pig for this shit." He was walking slowly toward me. I fixated on his hard cock as it bobbed with each step. I could see little trails of shit running from the head down the shaft.

"Get on your knees you filthy pig and suck my cock clean!"

I untangled my self and knelt. The guy kept walking until his shitty cock was in front of my face. I took a deep breath, leaned forward and took his head in my mouth. It tasted foul and I gagged. He grabbed the back of my head and pushed more of the cock in. He kept this up for a minute, and then came, shoving his length down me. The taste of come washed away the taste of my shit. When he pulled his deflated cock from me I felt empty.

The guy who foot I was sucking hadn't moved. He reached up with his foot and pushed me down so that I landed face down on the carpet. He grabbed my ass and pulled my cheeks apart hard. It hurt. He then moved up to my head, grabbed my hair and forced me to bob on his cock a few times. Then he held up my head so high that it hurt my neck and jaw. I thought he was going to pull all of my hair right out. He spat in my face and then bobbed me on his cock some more.

He threw my head away. "Get up bitch and face the wall"

I stood up and faced the wall. It was bare. "Bend over and grab your ankles."

I complied.

"Move close to the wall and spread your legs."

This was difficult. Without letting go of my ankles, I walked my legs apart and then inched my way forward until I felt the cool wall at my back.

"Spread your legs more pig."

I could still feel his spit on my face. I could here the disdain in his voice. I spread my legs wider.

He came forward and pushed into my ass. I couldn't move except to rock against the wall as he thrust into me. He fucked my ass hard and he slapped the outside of my thighs as he pounded into me. He was too hard on my ass. It hurt like hell. My thighs were burning and I was seeing red from having my head shoved down between my legs. I didn't like it, but I took him.

I took him and his blows. For a moment, panic welled up inside me. I couldn't believe I was doing this again. Was this guy going to break my back? Or my ass? Finally he stopped hitting me. He placed his hands at my hips and fired his load into me. My back banged into the wall as he pounded.

He pulled out, but kept his hands on my ass. He dropped down to his knees. I could feel his slick cock at my chin. I contorted myself to take him into my mouth. Then he surprised me. He pushed his face into my pussy and started to lick, pushing his tongue in deep. I lost it. I started coming again. I could feel his whiskers on my clit and I just lost it. His face pushed me against the wall. I was sucking on his limp cock and coming all over his face.

When I stopped squirting he trailed his tongue up and into my ass. I sucked him harder as I realized what he was doing. He was eating his come out of my ass—and his friend's come too. This shared moment of depravity spurred me to hope for more. With renewed confidence I knew that I was nowhere near the bottom yet. My fear had ebbed. For the moment I was happy.

Then the guy stood up and I fell away from the wall, landing on my ass. I immediately stretched my back and neck. I could see a wet spot on the wall left by my sweaty back.

The other four guys had been watching the whole time.

"The girl is a pig" one of them said.

My head hung down and I stared at the wall. I knew they were going to come for me. I knew they would keep using me.

"Assume the position again bitch! I liked the way you looked against the wall." I didn't know which one of them spoke, but I slowly stood up and then bent over so that my hair dangled to the carpet, my hands at my ankles and my lower back against the wall.

Again the guy pushed into my pussy a few times. Then he pulled out. Smack! He slapped my pussy. My knees gave and I slid down the wall a little bit. My head was now on the ground. I couldn't believe how contorted I was.

The guy smacked each of my ass cheeks, then pulled them apart and forced his way into my sore ass. It was still slick, but it was done. I wasn't going to come from this. I held onto my ankles and tried not to think about how much my back hurt. The guy just pounded away.

I could hear the others cheering him on. I felt like I was going to pass out.

Before I knew it, the guy came in my ass. As he slumped off of me he pulled my ass down. I slammed on the carpet and fell back against his legs. He then pushed my shoulders so that I fell down flat on my back. He squatted down over my face, dragging his balls from my chin to my forehead. Then he dropped his flaccid cock into my mouth. I took him and I cleaned him. As he got up he spat on my face.

I remained on my back, unmoving. I knew there were three more.

I didn't get much of a break before all three remaining guys descended on me. One of them grabbed my right foot and dragged me out of the living room to the top of the basement stairs. "Crawl down there slut, and keep that filthy ass of yours up in the air."

I rolled over and sensuously crawled down the stairs. I found myself in a finished basement with a couch, tv and a little gym area.

"Crawl over to the weight bench slut."

I could here the three men follow me. I paused, kneeling at the foot of the bench.

"Get on the bench. On your back slut."

I got on the bench. I had to spread my legs wide to balance. I scooted my head and shoulders underneath a bar that sat about two feet above the bench. The bar was in line with my breasts.

Someone grabbed my hips and pulled me down until my ass was hanging off the edge of the bench. "Grab on to the bar. Grab it wide."

I reached up and grabbed the cool metal of the bar. My arms were spread wide. The bar was now in line with my eyes. My breath caught as I saw one of the guys bring a length of rope over and begin to wind it around my left wrist. He secured it to the bar and then, using the same length of rope, secured my right wrist. Rope hung like a clothesline between my hands.

One guy stood at my head. He smacked his erection against my face a few times. Then he leaned over and fiddled with the bench. Suddenly the bench supporting my shoulders swung down, pulling my arms tight against the restraints. If I arched back my head I could rest it on the bench. I did this and the guy smiled and shoved his cock down my throat.

While he was hammering my face, the other two guys grabbed my feet. My legs were spread apart and lifted up to my hands. They placed my feet on the outside of the stands for the bar. My ass lifted up off the bench—I could feel the blood rush to my head. My ankles were tied tightly to the bar.

The guy kept right on fucking my face. I felt like I might roll right over backwards. I was uncomfortable, but with my hands and feet tied, I wasn't going anywhere.

Once I was secure, hands started to fondle my pussy and ass, slipping in and out of both holes indiscriminately. I felt like a piece of meat on display. I liked the attention they were paying to my crotch.

Then they started pinching my nipples and squeezing my breasts. It hurt, but I liked it. Now hands were pulling at my breasts and attacking my pussy and ass. They were getting rougher. My pussy felt full. One hand reached in deep and then pulled back against the inside of my pelvic bone—I loved that!

But then, with the hand still inside, he smacked my labia with a wet slap. Again and again he hit my labia and clitoris, all the while pushing on my g-spot from inside. If it didn't hurt so much I would have orgasmed like an animal, but the pain kept me on the edge. I wasn't able to come.

The hand pulled out of my pussy. They kept hitting me. Then they also started slapping my breasts and even the soles of my feet.

The entire time the guy kept up his steady rhythm fucking my throat.

I lost track of how long the guys were hitting my pussy and breasts. My skin felt tight everywhere. Suddenly, they stopped. The guy pulled out of my throat. Fingers plunged back inside my pussy and pushed hard against my g-spot.

"Do you want to come whore?" a voice taunted.

I gasped for breath. A finger pushed on my clit. The pressure increased on my g-spot. Someone slapped my breasts.

"Do you want to come whore? The voice demanded. Other hands squeezed both breasts. The finger traced circles around my clit.

"Answer me!"

It had been so long since I last come. My body hurt from all the abuse. But as my mouth gagged open it actually missed the cock that was just pounding it. I bucked my hips against the fingers inside me, grinding my clit into unseen hands. My head was still thrown back, my mouth open. I was about to orgasm. My uterus started contracting.

And then all the hands pulled away. Leaving me panting, hanging there. "Do you want to come whore? If you want to come, I want you to beg for it. I want you to tell me that you need all this abuse, that this is the only way you can be happy, to be used and degraded. Tell me you are a fuck-toy—a slut who exists to be used by men. You are only a piece of meat. Tell me whore!" A finger danced lightly on my clit.

I needed to come. I was so close. The filthy words turned me on. I was a whore. I was a piece of meat to be used by men. "I am a whore" I started quietly, my jaw trembling as I spoke, "I am a piece of meat. I am nothing but a set of holes for men to use. I get off on being hurt. I need the pain. I need to give up control. I don't care what you do to me—the nastier the better." I couldn't stop talking. "There is nothing that I won't do—hurt me use me. I get off on being your slut. Please let me come. I will do anything. Please I need to come. I will do anything you tell me, just let me come. Please."

The fingers jabbed back inside me.

I came.

I came and came and came. With the fluid rushing out of my body I felt as though I was getting rid of my other self. I was pushing all that I was outside of me. All that was left was this whore, this piece of meat.