I knew I was addicted. I knew it was wrong. I knew that it was dangerous. But when I was horny I just didn't care. I needed to be used. I needed to be used hard. I needed to switch off my brain, to switch off my controlling personality. I needed to switch it off and live instead through my body. And my body craved sweat and dirt and pain and cum. My body betrayed me as the slut that I am.
I knew as I drove home from my office job that I wouldn't be turning into the underground parking at my condo. I knew that I would keep driving until I found satisfaction. I didn't have a particular place in mind. I just knew that I would drive to another town and then give myself away.
As I left the city limits I reached under my dressy little jacket and pinched my nipple through my bra. I kept right on pinching and turned slowly to the car beside me. No luck, the guy didn't even notice. If he only knew how his life could have been different!
I let go of my nipple and took a handful of my small breast. I slowly squeezed the whole thing until the pressure was almost too much, then I twisted and squeezed some more. I was just beginning. I licked my lips as my breathing got heavier. I knew I was going to go through with it. I wasn't going to chicken out.
I only give in to this addiction once or twice a yearβwhen it becomes too much to resist. I know that each time I am jeopardizing my career and the life that I have built up for myself, but I just can't help it. I don't know how to explain it, but it keeps me sane.
I let go of my breast, grabbed the lapel of my jacket and also my blouse and I pulled hard. Buttons flew. My bra was open for any to see. I moved from the middle to the slow lane. I was getting too excited to drive. But I also wanted to prolong this time. Now that I knew I was going to let my self go, I wanted to savor the last vestiges of control. I wanted to languish in giving myself away. I grabbed my bra and yanked down. The straps hurt my shoulders but my firm breasts spilled free. I stuck my thumb and two fingers in my mouthβimagining it to be a cock. I slobbered over them and then twisted my saliva into my nipples. I felt myself slide forward on the car seat. I was trying to get some pressure on my cunt by getting my panties to ride up. It wasn't enough, but for now it served to keep my arousal simmering as I drove away from home.
From past experience I knew where this would end up. What I didn't know was the path that I would take to get to the bottom. This was maybe my fifth or sixth time doing this over the past few years. Once I hit thirty and was still single I just decided to give in and do what I wanted. It always ended with me feeling hurt and scared, guilty and even a little foolish. But while I was falling I felt so alive. I knew this time would be the same. I would get progressively more daring and slutty. I would go to dangerous places, and above all I would follow my one rule, the one constant in each of these outings: no matter what, and I mean no matter what, obey everyone. I know this path may get me killed, either outright or by catching some disease, but I am addicted to it. I am addicted to the rush, to the feeling that my entire being centers on my uterus as it orgasms, and orgasming through the danger, because of the danger.