(Many thanks to I'll Eat Wince for his help in editing this little story.)
This is a work of fiction. I was not sure in which category to best submit it under. It is a silly story meant only to entertain. Suspension of disbelief is definitely required.
*
"That bitch!" Diane snorted as she read the news report. It had been a nasty campaign wrought with name-calling, mudslinging, and backstabbing.
Diane and Pamela were locked in a heated race for Mayor and it was the closing days of the campaign. Pamela had somehow dug into Diane's past and found an incident in college in which she was arrested for swimming nude in the fountain at the college entrance. There were also hints of a lesbian lover in the article.
Normally, this would have been given little attention by the local media; however, Diane had been running on a morals platform, preaching family values and campaign reform. Her camp was now thrown into damage control just days before the election and she was infuriated.
The day of the election finally arrived and everyone was huddled around the TV awaiting the results. To the shock and dismay of all involved the election produced a tie. Both candidates had received the exact number of votes. There were threats of law suits and recounts from both camps. As neither candidate was willing to concede the race, there appeared to be no end in sight.
One evening Diane and Bob, her campaign manager, were setting in the office discussing the situation.
"I have a possible solution if you care to listen to it," Bob announced.
Diane leaned back in her chair rubbing her eyes to ward off the glare of the computer screen.
"I'm listening," she replied halfheartedly.
"You and Pamela have to meet face to face, that is the only solution to this thing. We need a situation in which only one clear winner can emerge," He went on to explain.
"It's called an election Bob, and in case you were asleep, it ended in a tie," she sarcastically remarked.
"My plan is that you both meet in a private place with several members of each campaign in attendance and face off in some contest. The loser will agree to concede the election and the winner will be free to accept the nomination," he instructed.
"Brilliant Bob, what are we going to do, meet in some alley and beat the shit out of each other?" she huffed.
"No, a simple game of cards," he replied. "The loser will concede the election and the winner can claim victory. The taxpayers will be spared excessive fees and delays due to legal wrangling, and this nightmare will finally be over."
She found his words comical as she thought about the irony of the entire campaign coming down to a game of cards.
"Oh, and what kind of cards should we play Bob?" she questioned. "Do we play Euchre, Gin Rummy, or Pinochle...what?"
"Strip poker," He replied in a curt voice.
"Have you completely lost your mind?" She grumbled.
"I am very serious. You both meet in a private location. There will be an even number of witnesses from each campaign present. The game will be played until one of you loses everything. To ensure fairness, each of you must stand in clear view of the group to remove your clothing. Winner takes all," He went on to say.
To her surprise the absurd suggestion actually had some validity to it. This would produce a clear winner and the loser would be spared the scrutiny of the media. They could simply concede the election without having to give a detailed explanation.
She snapped back to reality.
"Nice try Bob, but Pamela would never go for it," She remarked.
"Well, what if she did?" he questioned.
Diane thought on his words. She was the champion of her Bridge club three years running. She was confident she could defeat Pamela, and the thought of Pamela having to strip naked while the room looked on was delightful. She not only liked the idea, it was making her wet! The added bonus of Pamela conceding the election would be icing on the cake.
"Well, if she will, I will," Diane replied as she turned back to her computer.
Bob left and Diane finished the tasks at hand and went home for the night confident that Pamela would never agree to such an outlandish proposal. She took a hot shower and was relaxing in her favorite satin pajamas when she heard her computer sound that a new e-mail had arrived.
Scanning the computer she was surprised to see that it came from Pamela herself. She clicked on it and read the contents: