A Very Nice Present

I remember well how it got started.

That night.

After we had so wildly consumed each other, after lavishing myself on your luscious body, after you exploded in screaming ecstasy, satisfied to within the deepest niches of that delicious body of yours.

After you curled yourself up, hugging in the hollow of my arm.

Yes, that's when it started. You whispering in my ear. Little words you fed me... that you wanted to give me anything... anything I might wish for... that you loved me so terribly much that it almost hurt... that you wanted to know my deepest, my darkest, my most secret erotic fancy.... so you could give it to me... as your present for my love... yes, that's what you said...

"I want it to be my present for you...."

Those had been your words.

And then, in that big warm matrimonial bed of ours, I told you, lovely Aliza, for the first time in our life together, of that strange longing I have about you. But, although we have been married for such a long time, have made two lovely little children, and know each others bodies to the tiniest detail, although our trust and intimacy has grown to great heights over the years, you were taken aback by what I said.

"You're silly....," you said softly, and you remained silent for a long time before quietly turning your back to me, leaving me to sleep away from you on my own side of our bed.

The next morning you were your own happy self again. It seemed you had completely forgotten my nightly proposal.

But I had not. And when, a week later, you asked me what present I would like for my birthday, I softly repeated that secret desire of mine. I still wonder how I got the courage. You stiffened briefly, frowned and looked me deep into my eyes. "You should not ask me for that kind of thing," you said in a calm decided tone. "There are things I don't do... not even for you..." And that was that.

At least that's what you thought.

But I continued making hints about that eccentric urge of mine. Each time, when we kissed each other in gratitude after a most delightful love making, I kept pursuing you with those thoughts of mine. Hadn't you said you wanted to do anything for me... just for once...?

But you persisted. No, you didn't even want to think about it.

But I too persisted. Promised is promised... isn't that true? However, even though you gradually got used to me talking about it, you remained stubborn, saying that you did not want to, that you couldn't...

That you wouldn't dare...

That was a slight change of tone. I noted the different choice of words. And one day, after I had spoken my secret wish once again, your sounded even like excusing yourself:

"Even if I would go along with it," you said, "if only to please you... I simply would not have the courage." She kissed me, caressed my hair, damp from our love making, and added slowly: "You have such crazy ideas..."

"It's not just crazy, my love." I was trying to be honest. "It's a longing..." And once again I searched for the right words to express what I wanted so much.

You looked me in the eyes for a long time, love flowing over. Then you smiled and said, "Let me think about it."

And my heart skipped a beat....

That was the first step.

***

The second step came a few weeks later. Before going to bed, you were sitting in your underwear at the feet of our bed, staring for many minutes at yourself in the mirror. And suddenly you said it.

"Listen... I don't know... if you really want it so much... so terribly much... maybe I should try.... Just for once... for you... I love you so much... but only this one time...." You turned your so enchanting face to me and I saw you blush... "Just one time...," you repeated, "and then never again.... never!" You tried to smile, but your lips only quivered.

I was already below the sheets, but I sat up and drew you into my arms. Again you tried to smile bravely. And, as if to show me your courage, you asked if I thought you yourself might also enjoy it a little.

"I hope so... it certainly isn't impossible, but to be honest, you'll have to find out for yourself." Your blush grew fiercer, as if finally my fantasy had become arousing for you too.

It was... That night you yielded to me as if I were your lord and master, wielding absolute powers over your mind and body. I have never fucked you so ferociously. And when it was over and we finally lay back in our lush cushions, exhausted and satisfied to the brim, you whispered in my ear, as if wanting to finish your last sentence.

"But it has to be on my conditions..."

"Well... my love...what are they...?"

"Don't tell me anything about it... I don't want to know... I'll find out when the time comes."

That's what you said, and then you remained quiet for a moment as if to gather courage, looked at me, and added:

"Make it happen unexpectedly, Alex. Please. I don't want to be pent up and nervous for days on end."

You kissed me, curled up against me and almost immediately fell asleep in my arms.

And that's how, one evening, step two came.

***

The doorbell rings. Upstairs the children sleep peacefully in their little rooms. The kitchen is made, and we are both reading, tea in hand. It's rather late and surprised you look up from your book.

I get up and walk towards the hallway to the front door. When I leave the room I look back over my shoulder and see how your face suddenly drains of color.

Miriam and Bear stand in the darkness. Old friends with whom we have spent together many a vacation. Bear is a giant of a man, in the prime of his life, wielding an enormous moustache in a coarse face with thick lips. But his eyes are always surprisingly friendly. He has a deep bass voice and an infectious way of laughing. Bear is actually the nickname Miriam gave him because of his enormous frame and his wild looks. But he is a gentle and amicable man. Our children always call him 'uncle Bear'.

Miriam is a few years his senior. She is almost as sturdy and powerfully shaped as her husband, but in addition big breasted and wide hipped. When on holiday she uses to wear such short pants that one is often tempted to glimpse for her crotch. And when it's warm she has no qualms to bake half naked in the sun, her breasts exposed for everyone to enjoy. Often, when on camping trips together, we listen to the pandemonium of their love making in that very small tent of theirs. On such occasions Aliza and I like to fantasize how the two of them mount each other... so strong and so juicy...

Behind them I notice Elly and Bart, as dear friends as Miriam and Bear, and always part of a party.

For years they have been a couple, but they married only recently, long after they had kids. Bart is the sports type. He is stocky and square and, like a marine, wears a crew-cut over a short muscular neck. He does boxing for a hobby. He and I often make long walks, talking about whatever comes up, during which he continually hits my shoulder in his enthusiasm. It's a kind of tic with him. I have learned to live with it.

When we walk, Elly and Aliza usually keep each other company. They have been friends from early high school, long before Elly got to know Bart. In those days they even went through a brief phase of fighting over me. I like Elly, always have. Not only because she once had an eye for me. With her gracious appearance and those dark intelligent eyes below her deep brown waving hair, I always find her touchingly beautiful. She and Bart are just long standing nice and open minded friends. It's always fun to have them around.

While we all kiss each other welcome, I notice the arrival of Frank and his new girlfriend Lily, who just steps out of his blazing sports car. Frank is a kind of failed bachelor. As long as we know him, he has new girlfriends almost every year. He is always very well dressed. I can never understand how he succeeds in staying ahead just a little of the most recent trend in clothing.

Lily we have met only once before. I remember her as somewhat shy, but quite sweet. Almost as small as Frank, she is slimmer than he is, and has a very delicate built. She has a small fragile face with an eager gaze, and her smile is always disarming.

"Good", I think, while receiving their coats, "we're all there", and I invite them to follow me to our living room.

But you are gone. Your book is lying on the carpet next to the white mug with your half drunk tea. You have disappeared.

Nobody speaks. Only Elly, looking over my shoulder into the empty room, giggles nervously.

I gesture to everybody to take a seat, and excuse you for your absence. I tell them I'll go upstairs and ask you to join us as soon as possible. They let themselves down on our sofa and in our easy chairs. Nobody says a word. There is tension in the air. It is obvious that they all, in the silence of their own thoughts, wait in nervous anticipation. To ease the tension I put on a CD. Classical Italian music. I turn the volume low and bring wine and glasses from the kitchen.

Elly asks if she can take photos. She shows me a small digital camera. And Bart draws a little elegant video camera from his pocket, looking at me with a question in his eyes. I nod and motion to a small table on which they can put their stuff. "Shit," I hear Miriam saying to Bear, "we should have thought of that." He mumbles something back, as I hurry out of the room, announcing I am going to call Aliza.

Upstairs our bedroom is locked.

I knock on the door..

"Come on Aliza, open up." I speak softly, careful not to wake the children, but hopefully loud enough for you to hear me.

Nothing happens.

I have to repeat my knocking and making myself heard until finally the key is turned in the lock.

The door opens and you stand before me with panic in your eyes.

"What's the matter Aliza?"

Of course I know the answer.

I take you by your hand and we sit on the rim of our bed.

Softly I say: "You wanted it to happen unexpectedly... didn't you."

But you don't answer and press your face to my chest.

"I can't... I am afraid... I am really afraid.... I do love you... but I don't have the courage... not tonight..."

It takes quite some time. I repeat and repeat that there is nothing to be afraid of. That I am sure nothing really bad will happen. "To the contrary... Aliza, you might as well try to enjoy it... wouldn't you... Aliza...?" And I talk of that night in which the idea of mine had made you blush, and seduced you to give yourself so ardently to me.

In the end I succeed in calming you. Your breathing retakes its natural rhythm. But your face remains pale. I press your hand reassuringly. You cast down your eyes and after a long silence I hear you say, almost inaudibly, that you will try....

Slowly you rise and seat yourself on the little chair in front of the mirror. "You know Alex..." you say against your own mirror image, "I really do it for you... Dammit, I love you too much..." And I see how again you lower your eyes.

I remain sitting on the bed, waiting. You take a deep breath and turning to me you say, "Well then... tonight you'll get your present..." You look back to stare into the mirror and meekly ask what clothes I want you to wear.

I choose the dark red silken blouse and the long deep-black skirt which reaches to your ankles. It's the evening dress which enhances your hips so beautifully, and which you wear only on very special occasions. "With that small black ribbon around your throat," I add, "It's so sexy." You sigh and ask me to go back to our guests. You'll be there soon.

"She's coming," I say a bit sheepish when I return to the still dead silent living room. "Why didn't you poor yourself some wine?" Frank jumps up immediately and, like a waiter, begins to walk around with a bottle, filling glasses, happy he has an excuse for not sitting and waiting in his chair. Elly wants only half a glass. "I already had a drink at home", she says looking not at Frank, but at me. As if she needs an excuse for drinking before coming here, no doubt to gain courage. Bart hesitatingly asks for beer in stead of wine. Lily, glass in hand, remains motionless on her chair, staring in front of her, as if expecting someone to appear from afar.

Shortly after I return from the cellar with some bear bottles, you enter.

For a moment I feel relief. Your eyes shine in a somewhat overdone show of bravery. With that black collar around your white throat, with those thick dark waves of hair around your handsome face, your slightly rouged lips, and your high heels, you look dazzlingly pretty.

I am astonished by the resoluteness of your movements. You walk around, greeting everyone cordially and affectionately. As you would when welcoming our friends to just a normal party. You kiss Frank fleetingly on both cheeks, half a bottle of wine still in his hands. With Miriam, standing next to him, you somewhat hesitatingly shake hands. "Hi Aliza'" she says, and pulls you over into her strong arms. She kisses you. It looks just a bit too eager. "Nice of you to come down," she smiles. It sounds a little artificial... like a false musical note...

Bear and Bart rise in unison, both holding a beer. There is a moment of hesitation as to whom you will greet first. You choose Bear with his big body and his enormous moustache. Elevated on your toes you kiss him on his cheek, but you do not touch him anywhere else. It's a brief, but reserved encounter. Again I am surprised by the resoluteness of your gestures.

Bart, his wife Elly to his side, remains standing awkwardly, with his square face and his big brown eyes, as if uncertain how to greet you. He extends a hand, but then pulls you towards him, just like Miriam did, and kisses you on both cheeks, one of his strong boxing hands briefly fondles your back.

You turn to Elly, your long time friend and rival of early days, who is just nipping from her wine. When you lean towards to receive a kiss, she makes an unexpected movement in an attempt to put down her glass. As a result you almost fall against her, miss her cheek and land your kiss smack on her mouth. In a failed attempt to maintain her balance Elly takes hold of your waist, drawing you with her while falling back into her chair. Your face ends up in her bosom as if you are her lover. "Sorry Elly", you stammer while struggling back to your feet. Elly blushes deeply red. It doesn't look at all like she's sorry. Bear laughs. Does that break the ice? In any case it seems you forgot about Lily, Frank's slim girl.

But with a bright voice she takes the initiative, shy or not.

"My turn..!"

You look a bit taken in and want to apologise. But you don't get a chance. To everybody's surprise Lily locks your face firmly in her hands, looks you deep into your eyes and slowly, very slowly, draws her mouth to yours. It ends in a long concentrated kiss. She closes her eyes in rapture, as if she tastes an exquisite delicacy. It's an image I will not lightly forget, even after what happened later that night. A tableau vivant with two lovers who have forgotten all those standing around.

Slowly Lily sits down again. She smiles.

And you are left alone... in the middle of the room... all color ebbing from your face

That is how the evening begins.

You just remain standing there, as if you have been warned not to move. You are very pale now, and look at me with a nervous question in your eyes. I smile back reassuringly, then walk towards the windowsill to find a glass for myself. Frank runs toward me with a last few drops of wine in his bottle. "There is more, Alex" he says. His voice is tense. "Shall I poor some for Aliza too...?" He's too much in a hurry, as if he tries to postpone the upcoming events. "Leave it," I say, "I'll get another bottle later." In one gulp I swallow the little wine there is in my glass. I too need some courage.

"Well Aliza... shall we...?" I say, while I feel the alcohol descend towards my stomach.

I nod you towards me.

Hesitantly you step forward, extending your hand to me. I take you to a place in the middle of the carpet. "Stay here," I say, "and face our friends."

It's a command you obediently follow. I take the small table with the camera and video and move it aside. There is room now.

Nobody speaks. The music has ceased. There is high voltage electricity in the air.

Yes... this is how we start. I can hardly believe the time has come. It's the moment I have longed for in endless fantasies.

It is the final step...

***

I look around. Everyone sits on edge. My heart beats nearly audible.

I cough and speak the words I have wanted to say for so long:

"Aliza... my love... undress yourself...."

In the silence around us it sounds too loud.

But you don't move. You look at me with uncertainty in your eyes. Slowly you open your mouth, but no words escape.

I repeat, "Undress yourself for us, Aliza..."

Still you remain motionless. Then slowly you bow your head. Your hair falls as a curtain before your face. Your arms hang useless alongside your body. Your whole pose is one of deep uncertain hesitance.

"I can't... I can't take it...," you whisper almost inaudible.

Which makes it my turn to hesitate. How should I solve this?

Miriam's warm brown voice hits the silence, calm and decisive:

"Aliza... undress. We want to see your nude body..."

In fright you hide your face in your hands... and shake your head. You really don't have the courage.

I very much enjoy the picture of your defenceless resistance.

"Aliza," I say quietly, "Aliza, let me help you..."

You still do not react. So I step towards you and reach for the upper button of your silk blouse.

In a reflex you grasp my fingers.

"Please no Alex... please..."

Again I hesitate. But then you take a deep gulp of air and say:

"OK, I'll do it... Alex... I'll do it myself..." Your voice is hoarse.

And yes... Very slowly you open the top button of your blouse. And then the ones below. One after the other. You keep your head bowed, daring not to look at us.

Your blouse is open now, and shows an edge of your black lace bra.... inside of which...

I am aroused.

And it's not me alone. Both Bear and Frank suddenly move uneasy in their chairs. Elly's cheeks are blossoming red and I see how she moves her hand over Bart's upper leg.

With all buttons opened you wait and let your arms down again. Carefully I touch the silk on your shoulders. You don't protest. With a small motion of your upper body you let me take the thin material off, moving your arms backward....

What a beautiful sight. Before our eyes your breasts, held captive in black, move with your irregular breathing.

"You're so beautiful Aliza..." I softly say.

You blush... color returning to your face.

"Now get out of your skirt..."

Another hesitation. But after a few seconds we all witness how you gain courage from another deep breath. And then there is that supple movement I love so much when you undress in our bedroom, turning your torso slightly to open the one button on your left hip.

Thus you release your skirt and, with a soft rustle, it slips down to the floor around your feet, exposing the black triangle of a small elegant slip and two lustful thighs.

I bend down and you step out obediently. For a moment my face comes close to your slip. It covers your shame, as if in a last defence. The smell of your sex envelops me. And when I let myself down in my chair again, I watch you with growing emotion. You are like a piece of art in an exhibition, with only that black collar around your slender throat, your bra, slip and high heels.

It's a majestic moment.

Slowly you lift your face, your eyes remaining downcast. This is how you let yourself be looked at.

Sex hangs in the air...