I woke up the next morning with a headache. My first night with the collar locked around my neck did not go well. I got into bed that night and could not get comfortable. You don't know how hard it is to sleep with a ten-pound piece of stainless steel wrapped around your neck. I tossed and turned trying to find a position that wouldn't hurt my neck or my head. I think I dozed off somewhere around 3 AM and was up again by 6.
Having taken the previous day off for the court proceedings, I had to go to work. I pulled myself out of bed and looked at my tired body in the full-length mirror. I was a mess. Aside from my new shiny necklace, my face was droopy, my hair was a mess and my shoulders seemed to be sagging from the weight of the collar.
I pulled off my nightshirt and checked out the rest of me. I have always liked looking at my naked body. I have taken good care of myself and I have been fortunate to have a body that makes it easy. I've never had to watch what I eat and have a flat muscular tummy. I exercise regularly and that helps. I sometimes wish that my boobs were a little bit bigger. However, I am happy that they are not saggy. So many girls have breasts that just fall toward the floor when their bra comes off. I don't like that so I guess I am happy with what I got. I also get to the beach often which keeps me well tanned. Well, I'm tanned everywhere except those private areas that the sun doesn't see. My bikini tan lines make my private areas stand out when I am naked. I woke
As I looked at my naked self in the mirror, I hoped that someday some guy would get to see my body. I had never gone so far with a guy to be naked with a guy. Yes, I was a virgin and wasn't ashamed of it. It had nothing to do with waiting until marriage. It just had to feel right.
I felt a little better after a shower although I wasn't sure that my neck was dry under my collar. Working with my hairbrush, I realized that my long brunette hair would hide the collar from the back and a little bit from the side. I put on a short summer dress hoping that people would look at my nicely tanned legs instead of my neck. Sadly there was nothing I could wear on a summer day that would hide the ugly collar. I decided that the hair and the dress would have to do.
Before leaving the house I tried some positive self-talk. "Hold your head up and pretend like it is nothing," I said aloud. As soon as I said it I laughed. I didn't have a choice but to hold my head up.
Walking along the street to the bus stop I became instantly aware of the stares that I was getting. I remembered giving other collar wearers those same stares and that day I realized that I should feel bad about doing that. I remembered thinking, I wonder what he did wrong or she's in a lot of trouble. I decided that need to be kinder with my thoughts in the future.
As usual, there were no seats available so I had to stand on the bus. It was there I saw a woman and her teenage daughter looking at me. Mom was shaking her head making a tsk tsk sound. Without looking away she said to her daughter. "You keep getting in trouble, you're going to end up like her" I watched as the girl rolled her eyes but didn't look away from me.
The woman in the next seat gave a knowing laugh and responded, "Yea you never know what trouble these kids are going to get into."
"Hey, people! You know I can hear you" I wanted to yell. But I stood quietly and held my head up. Maybe I was helping society with this collar. Maybe that teenager was thinking she doesn't want to end up riding the bus with a bright stainless steel collar around her neck. I didn't want to think about that just then, I wanted to crawl under a seat and hide.
Work wasn't much better. I got lots of stares. I found that I could be a little bolder there - at least with the people I knew. Responses like "Yea it's my new jewelry line" or "Collar? What collar?" made me look like I didn't care that I had this heavy, uncomfortable weight tied to my body. I did care though. I hated this thing that had been attached to me without my permission.
My desk mate and good friend, Carole, saw me and rushed up. She was one of the very few that knew I had been in court. "OMG! Look at you!" she whispered. It was more like a quiet scream. "I can't believe those fuckers. I thought you would get a punishment from the center, not this."
"I got both," I replied.
"Oh no! What did you get?"
I grimaced. I had been so taken up with the collar that I hadn't thought about what was coming next.
"Electrotherapy."
"No! How long?"
"I think they said 90 minutes."
"That sounds horrible."
Just as Carole said that we were interrupted by Jonathan. He came up from behind and didn't see my collar until he turned to face me.
"Hey, ladies, Huddle in five min...." He stopped and looked at my neck.
"What happened to you?"
My face went red. Jonathan is a good friend and I should have made a joke about it but I couldn't. I have had a crush on him since he started working on our team six months ago. He is a tall well-built guy whom I ache to hug every time I see him. Even to that day, as embarrassed as I was, I wanted to put my arms around him and press my breasts into his rock-hard chest. Jonathan has been the object of many of my late-night fantasies.
"Oh, this?" I said, "Uh, I had a little visit at the courthouse yesterday and got this collar as a parting gift.
Jonathan was kind enough not to ask why I was there. He reminded us of the upcoming meeting and headed toward the conference room. Carole and I studied his butt and smiled as he walked away.