'Sarah?'
She seemed immediately taken aback by the person saying hello to her. I had no idea why. He was tall and well built, probably a few years older than her, making him possibly in his late twenties.
'Oh, errr hi Shaun,' she said, her voice was at least 2 octaves higher than I'd ever heard it. The usual confident poise was gone immediately. She sounded younger and somehow smaller. The guy, 'Shaun,' sat down next to her without invitation. We had been sitting opposite each other, as we always did on the train home from work. Sarah was wearing her usual office attire; a black, knee length skirt, stockings and a white shirt that clung well to her small chest. 'So how have you been?' he asked. He must have noticed her discomfort. You could almost taste it in the air. She shifted away from him in her chair, but his demeanour gave her no choice but to answer the question.
'Umm, ok thanks,' her voice quavered on the last syllable.
'It's been a long time,' he said, offering no acknowledgement to me, her boyfriend, sitting directly opposite. 'I haven't seen you since. . .' he trailed off deliberately. His eyes were fixed on her, as though he were drinking her in, or picturing her in some other setting. 'So aren't you going to ask how I am, Sarah?'
She looked up. I was starting to get worried. She was obviously distressed by his presence, but my confident, outspoken girlfriend would normally tell the guy where to go if she wasn't happy. 'How are you Shaun?' she asked in a flat, monosyllabic tone. She had turned herself towards him now, obvious accepting that he wasn't going anywhere. Who was this guy?
'I'm great Sarah! You're looking pretty good yourself. Let's get a look at you.' he said, brushing her hair away from her face. I couldn't believe the way he was talking to my girlfriend, with me sitting right there. I felt powerless to do anything about it though, as though a strange paralysis had come over me and all I could do was watch the events unfold in front of me. 'You look just as good as the last time I saw you. You do remember that, don't you Sarah?' he said with a smirk.
Her eyes flashed with anger. 'Yes I remember!' she spat. 'I can't believe you're smiling about it. How dare you bring that up?'
'Hey, calm down gorgeous.' He said, putting a hand on her shoulder. 'I'm just reminiscing, it's a good memory. Don't tell me you don't think about it. I know that you do.'
'Shaun you raped me!' she rasped.
The bottom dropped out of my stomach.
When I first met Sarah it was months before she was comfortable enough to allow me to get close to her physically. She explained once we had been together a while, that she had been sexually assaulted as a teenager, that it had made her nervous around men and that she had never gotten over it. We'd never spoken about it in much detail, but I tried to be understanding and was always gentle in bed with her. She also told me that she had never had an orgasm because of the experience, and that this was common for rape victims. I tried constantly through our three year relationship to make her come, however she would always stop me when the sensation became too much for her, never letting herself reach climax. I couldn't believe that she would sit and talk civilly with the source of her torment.
'Oh Sarah,' he grinned at her and moved the hand on her shoulder, gently stroking the cotton covered flesh. 'Rape is such a strong word. The way I remember it, we had both had a little to drink, we were young and we got a little bit carried away with ourselves. Doesn't that sound right to you?'
'No Shaun!' she said, her voice rising slightly, although not enough for other train passengers to hear 'You held me down, I asked you to stop and you wouldn't.' She was getting braver now, finding her voice again. She had just been shocked to see the guy again.
'Hmm and what happened after that Sarah?' he asked, that maddeningly smug grin still on his lips.
'I. . .I'
'Because I remember quite clearly,' his hand had slipped off her shoulder, and was now stroking her upper arm in a way that I wasn't happy about at all. Still though, I was paralysed. 'You certainly weren't asking me to stop a few minutes later, were you gorgeous?' Sarah couldn't speak. Couldn't respond. Her shining eyes flitted to mine for a split second, then down, then back to his. 'Quite the opposite in fact!' He didn't elaborate, but again his hand slipped down her body, resting on her knee.