All characters are over 18.
***
Kimberley would not, later on, recall precisely what caused her to swipe left.
The profile was pretty good, as far as guys went, by which she meant that it wasn't a
total
disaster. No shirtless photos, no gangsta poses, no hints- subtle or otherwise- that they hated feminists, women interested in more than casual sex or just women in general. No- and she still shuddered at that one- pictures of them and their mothers together. He didn't look all that attractive- too skinny, too short, nose like a beak- but what made her swipe left, what sealed her fate in the end, was-
Well. Morbid curiosity. At the end of his profile, after the usual mildly interesting facts (amateur writer, likes hiking and reading in cafes) were the words, short and simple and very much in plain sight:
Warning: I am an erotic mind controller.
...and she just
had
to know.
So Kimberley swiped left, with a vague mental note that in the unlikely event that he swiped back she would probably not take things any further than a few questions about what the hell he was talking about.
And so Kimberly Jones- twenty-three years old, fresh out of university and already finding the prospect of facing the daily grind of the office more than a little depressing- finished the last of her breakfast, got up from her living room couch and headed into work.
What the hell,
she wondered as she stepped into her workplace,
was an erotic mind controller?
Was it a hobby? Some sort of profession? Was he a stage magician in some sort of R-rated late-night show? She sat at her desk, ran her hands through her auburn hair, and pondered the deep, dark mysteries of dating app profiles.
"Hey." She looked up to see Samantha rush into the office and sit down next to her. "Busy night?"
She made a point of smiling back. "Just the usual." She pushed the smile a little further, hoping that hint to her coworker- her blonder, prettier, bustier coworker- that
the usual
involved cocktail parties, nightclubbing and passionate affairs with hunky strangers rather than the usual fare of microwave dinners and Netflix binges of Korean romance dramas. Samantha smiled back with what Kimberly could only presume was the patient smile of a girl who knew full well that Kimberley's life was dull, was very clearly dull, that Kimberley- olive-skinned and skinny and small- was probably the dullest girl that Samantha had ever met but it was fine, it was okay; she didn't mind that Kimberley was dull in the slightest.
Kimberley didn't have much in the way of friends. She found them too exhausting. But she quite liked talking to Samantha in small doses. So she made a mental note to ask her about her night (and not to get too depressed while she was listening) after she got them both coffees.
Rising, she walked over to the small, bare kitchen alcove that the insurance company who had deigned to employ her ("For the time being," carefully intoned HR at her interview six months ago) had cheerfully called the cafeteria. She put on the kettle and reached for the tin of instant coffee with a silent promise that she'd splurge for a latte for the pair of them next week. Until then she'd make do with-
"Kim."
Fuck.
Greg.
She turned and put her very best smile on for her line manager as he stepped closer, well within what she- or any other person- would consider their personal space.
Sometimes, during the weekend when she had time to decompress and could- on some level- find the whole thing funny, she'd often ponder if Greg was churned out somewhere in a factory for creeps. Everything about him- the slightly protruding eyes that had an angry glare set as default, the way he stooped that made his gut push out, the smell that was part B.O. and part some strange and exotic species of dead fish- seemed designed to sent a small, involuntary shockwave of disgust through her.
That in itself wouldn't be a reason to hate Greg- God knew Kimberley had needed to deal with her share of contempt during her plumper and awkwarder high school years- but all of this was compounded by a number of unfortunate tendencies on the part of her boss. Tendencies like-
"See any men last night?" his mouth leered while his eyes narrowed as though she were under interrogation. This was typical Greg- taking an innocent comment, twisting it into something ugly and giving it just enough of an edge that she felt threatened. She did her best to keep herself smiling and said, "Just stayed at home."
"That's so sad," he said in the gloating tones of a schoolyard bully. "Maybe your standards are too high?"
"I- uh, I don't think that's it."
He was already shaking his head, chuckling to himself. "It is. I swear, girls your age are a generation of princess, aren't you? I really think-"
Samantha swept in like a blonde angel. "Kim! You got my coffee! Brilliant! Hey, I need you for something."
"Well-" Greg hesitated.
"We got to get started on those figures, boss! Too busy to talk, see you later." Greg seemed to melt underneath Sam's beacon of cheerful disobedience as the blonde woman steered Kimberley back to her desk.
"Thanks."
"No worries." Samantha sat back down. "Christ, what a creep."
"Yeah."
"You need to be careful with him, okay? I've heard stories."
Kimberley felt a jolt of something unpleasant in her stomach. "What sort of stories?"
"Girls that work with him getting fired, and girls that work for him...not getting fired. Guess what the difference was?"
Kimberley closed her eyes. "Shit."
Sam's blue eyes were sympathetic. "Look. Chill. I'm sure they're just stories, okay?"
"Sure." There was a chime as the message notification on her phone went off. "Hang on." She pulled out her phone and...
Message from Josh.
She blinked and opened the phone.
Josh: Hey. Your profile looked interesting so I'd thought I'd contact you.
...she wasn't sure what she expected from this. Well, that's not entirely true- she'd expected Dick Picks at the very least, or maybe some sort of request to download a file called spirals.exe.
Instead it was a message, a simple and easy and plain message that sounded almost rational-
"Girls? I thought you had work to do?"
She turned and smiled at Greg. "I'm sorry."
He paused and then smiled, a big, broad, ugly grin. "Not yet, anyway."
Shivering, she put the phone away and went back to her computer.
It was lunchtime before she pulled out her phone again and- after typing a response to her mother, who just had to make sure she was okay and eating right and was she still single? - remembered the message.
She paused, wondering what the hell she should do.
"Oh, you're on a dating site?" She looked up to see Samantha sitting across from her, digging into a disturbingly healthy-looking salad.
"Yes." She felt obliged to defend herself somehow. "It's just for fun."
"Oh, I know!" Samantha gave her a saucy smile. "Shit, I think about all the 'fun'-" actual quote marks in the air- "-I had, well...you seeing anyone on it?"
"Um." She wondered briefly if she should mention the whole erotic mind controller thing- play it off as a joke maybe? - when her sense of shame leapt up and informed the rest of her that no, this
wasn't
a thing that would be happening any time soon. So she said, "Just one right now. He seems nice."