Yes, Sir β Ch 2
***Hey guys, thanks for being patient. Hope you enjoy this installment! All critiques and notes happily welcome. I'm trying to find a nice balance between developing plot at a believable pace (ironic considering this is all definitely super believable) and having enough sex. Comment if you have any requests (from here on, it's pretty much Conner humiliating V and Luke to get his revenge, so any and all scenarios are open to suggestion).***
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I walk down the halls, barely seeing the other students and professors passing by.
She's in S-432. Almost there. What if-
"Conner!" A quick shove jolts me out of my stupor and I look up to see Jess, a good friend of mine. She continues to look at me like I'm an idiot and I realize I haven't said anything.
"Oh, hey, Jess. Sorry about that. I've had a lot on my mind today," I say, rubbing a hand down my face and trailing off. Her brown eyes grow concerned.
"What's up? Is it about work?" She grabs a hair tie from her wrist, hastily throwing her blue-dyed hair into a high bun.
"No, it's... it's about Violet. I'll tell you later. Drinks?" She nods, starting to walk away.
"Yeah, yeah, but I gotta go, I've got my shift." She waves goodbye and a paper falls out from her bag.
"WAIT!" She stops in her tracks at my voice, not moving at all. "You dropped this." I walk closer, seeing her not move. "Jess?" I turn towards her face, her features and body still frozen. "Are you okay?" Her eyes widen, looking panicked. "Jess? Jess! Move!"
She finally falls out of place, catching her breath. "Fuck, I couldn't move." She still looks frazzled, but she starts to walk away again. "I-I'm gonna go. Bye, Conner."
Did she just...stop because of me? I shake my head, trying to rid myself of the thought. No, that was a coincidence. Right?
I turn the corner, seeing my Psych professor, and decide to test out my stupid theory. "Hey, Professor. Give me an extra five points on my last test." He looks at me normally before saying a very controlled, "Okay."
I look at him quizzically. "Okay?"
He checks his watch, then says, "Class. Bye, Conner." I watch his retreating form. No way. No fucking way.
I grab the arm of a nearby person and she looks at me, startled, and starts to jerk her arm out of my grasp before I say, "Don't be afraid of me. I just need two dollars for a soda. Give me the money, please." She calmly grabs her wallet and hands me two dollar bills. I thank her and give them back because, you know, I'm not a dick.
What. The. Fuck. I blow out a heavy breath, letting everything sink in. Since my mind is running a million miles per second, I find an empty classroom and start pacing.
They all listened to me. I told her to stop, he gave me extra points, she gave me money. All because I told them to do it? I can control people? So that genie was real? I stop in my tracks. The genie. I have more wishes. I go to grab that weird lamp thing, I guess, because Aladdin taught me at least one thing. I pat my pockets and then realize why it's missing.
Oh, FUCK! For the second time that day, I start sprinting.
By the time I get back to the place I had my near-heart attack, there are more people walking through the alley than I expected. I hope no one grabbed it. Please, please, please, do not let my luck be this bad.
I've just about given up hope when I see a shiny glint of light catch my eye. I jog over, praying it isn't some piece of glass, then pick up the lamp like a parent holds their newborn.
Upon closer inspection, I realize the lamp isn't actually a lamp. I squint my eyes. The fuck?
It looks more like a metal bong. I rub off more dirt, trying to get a closer look at the inscription.
"It says, 'sex god' in Egyptian hieroglyphs," a voice behind me says and I jump, turning to see Zel basically riding my back. "I wanted it to look ancient and mysterious but also double as a bong for the more...relaxed people who find it."
"Hey, dude, I appreciate the language lesson, but in the future can you warn me before mysteriously appearing." He nods his assent and I add, "And for reference, I'm definitely one of the relaxed ones."
Zel smirks, then widens his arms, reminding me of his otherworldly appearance.
"ZEL!" I jump in front of him, worried that the passersby will see his very obviously not human body. He pushes my arms down, laughing at me. "Is this funny to you?"
He stand there, relaxed and straight-faced. "Yes, actually. They only see a regular college student flailing his arms about right now and calling for," he puts his fingers up and raises his voice several pitches, screaming, "'ZEL!' Don't worry, I'm invisible to them."
Once again, he smirks, which I begin to think is his signature look, and claps his hands together. "So, shall we begin?"
*cough, cough* "Got it?" Zel says, grabbing the bong/his home from my hands.
After an extremely brief three hour info session and smoke, I'm completely clear on Zel and his rules for the wishes.
I give a final cough, affirming, "Got it."
"So," he lights the bong, "why do you want to control people? Also, how's that going for you so far?"
I lie back, letting the weed take its course, and say, "Well, it all started with my girlfriend this morning." After another thirty minutes of ranting, he lets out a deep sigh.
"Conner, my new best friend and master, that's fucked up." He rolls onto his side, looking like a dark grey Adonis. "I consider myself to be a benevolent genieβ oh, speaking of, avoid other genie's if you can. It took me thousands of years to like humans. Anyway, I want to help you. I like you and I hate cheaters."
I eye him warily, not sure what he means. "Okay?"
"I'll tell you what, my man. I'm gonna spend a while with you because I've had lots of people rubbing my bong lately, and in return for my benevolence and wish-granting, you let me stay with you."
I look at him as alertedly as I can through my haze. This shit put me on my ass. "Seriously?"
He nods, standing up, stretching. "Yeah, man. I haven't had a good friend in a long time and I'd like to stretch my legs in the mortal world for a while." He grabs my hand, pulling me up with a strange amount of ease. "So, take me to your place. I have an idea about this Violet of yours. And your 'good buddy' Luke."
Ten minutes later, we're pulling up to my shitty little apartment near campus.
I toss my coat on the counter, grandly gesturing around the entryway. "Welcome to my humble abode."
After a brief tour of the growing mold and couch serving as a guest room, Zel turns to me. "Con-man," I squint my eyes at the nickname, "my bong is bigger than this place." He haughtily casts a glance towards my dying fern. "And better furnished."
"I have college loans amounting to that of a very expensive car and a part-time job that pays minimum wage. This is practically luxury."
He starts to walk out, grabbing my coat and shoving it in my arms. "Let's find mediocre luxury for two men deserving of queen-sized beds and clean air." He tosses me my keys, saying, "But first, Chipotle. I could fucking murder a burrito bowl."
He grabs my phone, Googling stuff for about twenty minutes while I take us to the closest Chipotle. I get it to go because floating food would be hard to describe. One burrito bowl and a lemonade later, he's ready to look at apartments.
"It's fifteen minutes from your campus and it's pet-friendly. Do you like dogs or cats?"
I stare in both awe and fear at Zel. An all-magical being who uses Google, likes burrito bowls and wants to move in with me. I start up the car, deciding to go along with it. I mean, worse happens than getting a genie as a friend and having his first act of friendship be to move you out of your crap campus place.
He burps, drawing my attention back to the task at hand. "Okay, great. So how do you suggest I afford this magical new apartment?"
He laughs, slapping me on the back. "I'm older than Islam. I've collected a little loose change here and there." I decide in that moment to stop questioning my benefactor.
I pull onto the road as he begins to talk about his plan for Violet and Luke.