White Noise 5

My name is Lindsey and I am 21 years old. I am a college senior, hopefully graduating in a few months with a degree in psychology. It's been a struggle. There is a lot of studying and my mind does tend to wander. Post graduation, I have a couple more years to earn a Master's degree and then a couple more for a Ph.D. At least that is the plan. Unfortunately, some of that may have to wait due to financial concerns. I have a job on campus that helps and I am a Resident Assistant in one of the dorms. That doesn't pay any money, but I get to stay in the dorm for free. That kind of sucks because I'm surrounded by underclassmen, but beggars can't be choosers. And the dorm isn't that bad when you have a private room. The first semester I had to deal with the problems of freshmen, but by now that has calmed down and I just have to occasionally tell them to keep the noise down. The hallway can be a dull roar until quiet time. Unfortunately that has made it more difficult to study.

It's not important to know which university I attend or the town, but I will say it's a serious medical and research university just outside one of the largest cities in America. Its reputation is sterling and I didn't think I would have any trouble getting a job after graduation, even before I pursued my post-doc. But enough about me for now. My life was about to change and it all started with a flier I saw on the dorm's bulletin board.

"WANTED: Students to participate in a study looking at the effects of alternative treatments for attention deficit disorder, specifically alternatives to Adderall seeking to increase focus while studying, physical performance and cognitive performance. This is a three month study and the compensation is $1,000 per month."

There was an email address to respond to and a person's name, Dr. Maria Garcia. I looked her up in the campus directory. She held doctorates in biochemistry and psychology. She didn't teach at the university but had been here for six years funded by research grants. I had not heard of the companies funding her research, but everything seemed legitimate. I'd never used Adderall or been diagnosed as ADHD, but as I did some quick research, it seemed like maybe I could benefit and finish my semester stronger. I wasn't interested in just getting an Adderall script. That would cost me money. But if I could get paid $3,000 to be in the study and get a benefit, I saw that as win/win. I quickly sent in an email and later that night I got a reply with screening questions.

I understood that the study needed to know the personal details of their participants in order to build a group that matches the target of the study. From what I'd read about how Adderall was used, including some off label recreational uses, I assumed they would want to balance the participants on how they would use the drug. What I wasn't expecting was as much detail in the questions about my sexual history. I'd read that some people use Adderall, a stimulant, as a sexual boost, so maybe it wasn't as strange as the psychology student in me thought. It didn't matter. I filled out the 60 question form accurately and sent it in hoping for the best. I didn't hear anything for a week, but then got an email that I had been chosen. There was another form I had to fill out, mostly limiting the liability of the study, and another document explaining how the study would work. That one I read much more closely than the waiver document. I figured the waiver was just boilerplate legalese.

The basic gist of the study was a new drug, unreleased at this point, but beginning clinical trials. Some people in the study would get a full dose of the drug, some would get a half dose and some would get a placebo. The drug was to be taken daily at the same time each day. A second component was listening to a white noise file while studying or working out. I'd read about using white noise to mask the other sounds around you to help you concentrate, but had never tried it myself. By having varying doses of the drug, the study wanted to prove how much of an improvement the drug made in concentration compared to just the white noise. Finally, after each period of listening to the white noise, the participant was to fill out an online journal detailing their experiences.

There were more details in the instructions, but you get the basic idea. The sound file was one hour long and if we were studying longer and wanted to repeat it, that was fine provided we detailed that in the journal. I usually studied from 7pm to 10pm, so the requirements sounded fine to me. We would have a new sound file several times per week so we didn't get bored with the same sounds. I'd seen CDs with forest sounds, wave sounds, rain sounds, etc so I figured this was the same. The study was to be conducted anonymously (I would just have a participant number) so as not to skew the data and any issues were to be put into the journal where they would be evaluated, again anonymously and not tied back to me by name.

I digitally signed the participation agreement and was assigned an appointment with Dr. Garcia at 5:30pm the next night. I suppose I had to pick up the drug since I couldn't download it like the sound file. I was instructed not to arrive before 5:25 and that I would be done by 6:15. Apparently they didn't want the participants to know who else was in the study either. That seemed reasonable. I was right on time, something I rarely had a problem with and knocked on Dr. Garcia's office door in the medical research building right at 5:30. She opened the door and beckoned me to enter.

I'm not sure what I was expecting, but Dr. Garcia wasn't it. I suppose I pictured a white lab coat and an office full of books. Instead of books, there were four large computer monitors and instead of a white lab coat, Dr. Garcia was wearing a tight, black cocktail dress and black stockings. She didn't have shoes on, but as I followed her into her office I saw a pair of stiletto heeled beauties on the floor next to her desk. She pointed to a chair in front of her desk while she walked around it and sat down.

"I'm sorry about my attire," she started the conversation. "I've got a faculty event tonight and I need to rush over there as soon as we are done."

I told her, "No worries," and left it at that.

We talked for about half an hour going through the structure of the study and how it would work. I could tell she was being careful not to give me any information about what they were hoping to find through their research. Although I had not participated in a study like this before, I had read that the participants shouldn't know too much to minimize the chance for bias in the results. Dr. Garcia did share that this initial study was a single-blind study and that she would know who was getting the placebo and what dosage each participant who got the drug would be receiving. She also explained that if the results were positive, next fall she was hoping to do a double-blind study that expanded beyond the university. I knew that would be expensive so obviously some company with deep pockets was funding her research.

The final topic was whether I was sure I could complete the study, take the drug every day at the same time, listen to the sound file at least for an hour a day and that I would journal about the experience every day. I assured her that I could and she welcomed me to the study. She handed me a bottle with a thirty day supply of pills. I wondered whether I got the full dose, half dose or the placebo, but Dr. Garcia did not crack and give me any hint. She told me she would email me a link to the sound file and not to share it with anybody or tell anybody I was participating. She also wrote me a check for $500 telling me she would give me the other $500 for this month after I started submitting data and she was sure I was following the study rules. That was a bit disconcerting, but I took the check and told her to enjoy the faculty dinner.

I got back to the dorm about 6:40. I had a lot of studying to do tonight so it seemed like a good time to jump in at the deep end. There were two students waiting by my door looking for help with some kind of crisis so I did my best to help them quickly and then locked myself in my room. With a bottle of water in my hand, I took the first pill. I then hid the bottle in my dresser. I was about to start studying when I figured I'd better go to the bathroom first so I walked down the hall to the communal bathroom. I made a mental note to include the detail that I took the pill at 6:50 but didn't start listening to the white noise until 7pm. I guess maybe I was a little OCD, but even if I got the placebo, I wanted my journal to be accurate and have useful data.

The sound file surprised me in that it was just static. I was expecting waves or some other kind of repeating generic tone, but it wasn't. It was almost like, well nothing. The first 15 minutes I felt my heart racing. I knew Adderall was a stimulant so I was convinced I'd received the full dose. But that feeling wore off pretty quickly so I figured maybe that was just my mind playing tricks on me. But I made another mental note to include it in my journal and tried to focus on my studying.

I don't know if it was the drug, my brain thinking I took a drug, the static noise masking the noise of the dorm or some combination of the three, but the next thing I knew it was 11pm and I felt I understood behavioral psychology better than I ever had before. My only concern was I wished I had stopped earlier and switched subjects. I then remembered I had to journal my experience so I logged into the website (Dr. Garcia had sent me a link) and started to answer the questions and add my own reactions. I was participant 1043 for what that's worth. I wondered if that meant at least 42 other people were participating.

After I finished answering the questions and adding my feedback, I went to the bathroom and got ready for bed. It was a little later than I usually went to bed, but I slept well and woke up refreshed. I even seemed to be able to concentrate a little better in class, although that was probably wishful thinking as the drug must have worn off by then. Still I was looking forward to another focused night of studying. I ate dinner a little earlier and took the pill at 5:45 this time. I also set an alarm on my phone for 8pm to remind me to switch subjects. On a side note, I was taking 5 classes this semester so I had to be careful not to fall behind in one by just studying for another.

At first I had a similar reaction where I felt my heart racing a bit. I figured perhaps that was a dosing problem and scribbled a note to myself to bring that up in tonight's review. But just like last night, as I listened to the static in the background, I calmed down and focused. I could almost sense that my studying was more focused, and although I heard my phone alarm, I didn't react right away. It was 8:15 when I finished a chapter that I realized I had not switched classes yet. I wrote another note to myself and grabbed the other textbook. This time I studied until 11:30. I felt great, although again, I wish I had quit a little early to get a full night's sleep. Even though I only got about 6 hours that night (I was up early for work) I felt great.

Late in the afternoon I received an email from the program administrator (I didn't know if it was Dr. Garcia or someone else) with a new sound file. This one was more what I had expected with the sounds of gentle waves hitting the seashore. I still had a good night of studying, but if I had to examine my performance, I'd say it was a little off, at least compared to the static sound file. My sleep was not as restful either. Of course both details went into my journal. I had two nights of the water sounds and then received another file which was gentle rain sounds. My focus levels were about the same as the seashore. It was getting to the weekend and I knew I needed to write a term paper, so as part of my journal I requested to go back to the static sound. The student in me wondered if the other participants also found the static sound worked best.

Friday afternoon I got an email directly from Dr. Garcia. She said she had reviewed my journal entries and was pleased with the feedback I had given. She also said she had not planned on repeating sounds yet, but she understood why I wanted to go back for the weekend. She included another sound file. I played just a couple of seconds of it to confirm it was the static white noise and then turned it off until I was ready to study. Looking at the file, the name was different from the original one as was the file size. After I took the pill and got down to business, I noticed this file was 2 hours long instead of the usual 1 hour of the other sound files. That didn't mean anything in particular to me. I just figured it would repeat less. I put on my headphones and got to work. While the audio file seemed to be just static, I also had the feeling it was slightly different from the other static file, but whatever. They probably had a computer program to generate the random noise so I guess slight variations were to be expected. It was 6pm.

I was working on my term paper and the words flowed effortlessly from my brain through my fingertips and into my word processor. I consciously could feel my writing covering the page into what I was sure was the best paper I ever wrote. I made a mental note to make sure I proofread the paper after the drug wore off, but I didn't write that down. I didn't want to stop typing. In fact I didn't stop until after midnight and 48 pages. That was far and away the longest paper I wrote and definitely in the shortest time. These pills were a miracle. I finally stopped to drink some water and then to write my journal entry. I was very happy and wanted to go to sleep so I could get up early and continue working on the paper and other assignments I needed to finish. But I couldn't fall asleep.

I felt tired, but the dorm was a bit noisy that night, as was typical on Fridays. I could have been a hard ass and enforced the quiet hours, but I didn't want to be that kind of RA. Instead I put my headphones back on and started the white noise file on repeat on my phone. It did turn down the volume a bit from the level I had it on when I was studying. I figured the dorm noise would quiet down within an hour and if I did fall asleep, I didn't want the sound to be too loud. I guess it worked because this time I fell asleep quickly and didn't wake up until 8am. That was late for me. Saturdays were my sleep in day, but since I was usually up by 5:30, it was rare for me not to spontaneously wake up by 6:30 or 7 at the latest. An extra hour of sleep was a nice bonus, although I didn't think that was part of the study.

But there was another bonus (curse) I received from my extended sleep. I woke up horny as fuck with my fingers in my very wet panties. I rarely remember my dreams, but it seemed like I must have been dreaming something very erotic and let my fingers do the walking. You should understand something about me. I'm no nun, but I also didn't use my college time to fuck a bunch of guys. I also didn't frequently masterbate. I did on occasion and apparently last night was one of those times although that seemed like a waste since I didn't remember it. Strangely I did feel compelled to include that fact in my journal.

After a quick shower and breakfast, I sat down to study with the white noise file playing. I didn't take today's pill since I was trying to always take it at the same time each day. I would say my concentration was good, but maybe about 85% of what it was last night. I must be getting at least half doses of the drug and it must be making a difference. By noon I was starting to lose focus, but I don't think it was from fatigue or the white noise reaching the limit of its effectiveness. It was because I was horny again. I decided to take a break from my studies and seek some relief for my very wet pussy. Fortunately I was just wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, so stripping naked was easy.

As I said, I don't frequently masturbate and when I do, I just use my fingers and some pretty pedestrian fantasies about meeting the perfect guy and falling in love. OK, I confess, sometimes I fantasize about a hunky professor seducing me. I'd trade my body for a better grade. I usually got myself off pretty quickly. I lay down on my bed and started rubbing my nipples until they were hard as pencil erasers. Nipple play always got me wet enough to stroke my pussy.

Today, however, my orgasm eluded me. My family friendly fantasy about meeting my future husband didn't get me off and even moving to my backup professor fantasy, while bringing me closer, didn't take me over the top. I lay on my bed with my legs spread while feverishly stroking my clit. My orgasm seemed to hang, teetering on the edge of release, but never arriving. In my mind, I was laying on my back on the professor's desk as he pounded away at my sweet, tight little pussy. But then my brain added the door to his office opening and a janitor walking in pushing a large garbage can on a dolly. The professor didn't seem to mind being caught, although I started squirming at the intrusion and began trying to push him off of me. The professor simply grabbed my wrists and pinned them to his desk while he continued to fuck me.

In my fantasy, the janitor simply shut the door and walked over to the desk while unzipping his pants. I'm not sure what happened next because my body chose that moment to cascade into a wonderful orgasm. I arched my back and felt my pussy throb. Actually it probably was the strongest orgasm I had ever experienced and certainly the wettest. As I lay panting on my bed calming down, my mind flashed back to the janitor in my fantasy. Was he only expecting a blowjob? I never minded sucking cock because I knew my partners liked it. Or was he going to switch places with the professor and they would tag team me?

It's kind of funny that I went from wishing I would cum quicker to being almost upset that I came before my brain played out more of my fantasy and I could see how the two men would use me. My orgasm must have taken more out of me than I thought because I fell asleep, the white noise still playing on my laptop in the background. Afternoon naps really were not my thing, but I slept for a couple hours and found my fingers on my pussy again when waking. I didn't want to put these details in my journal, but again I felt compelled to be completely honest.

Late in the afternoon, I found myself taking another pill and playing the white noise through my headphones while I lay on the bed. I was trying to think about the events of the week and what I could attribute to the drug and what was my body just focusing more because of the background noise. I had started to feel like the noise was my new normal and I felt weird in class when it wasn't present. I didn't fall asleep again, but I could tell my pussy was getting wet. Then I seemed to have an out of body experience. I was floating above my body, still on the professor's desk, still getting drilled in the missionary position, only this time we were not caught by the janitor. The professor's very beautiful wife walked in on us. I had been teetering on the edge of orgasm once again, but unlike the janitor triggering me to cum, the appearance of this woman killed my mood, but not her husband's mood. He kept fucking me and she didn't seem upset. Just as the janitor had walked over to me, so did she. Only as she looked down at me, she spoke.

"You got a cute one this time, Thomas," she said to her husband. I didn't have any professors named Thomas so that reiterated this was an anonymous fantasy encounter.

She then said to me, "If you're going to bust his nut with that slutty co-ed pussy, you better get me off too because he will be worthless to me when he gets home."