What I Thin of You

Alex and Yoshiko leaned against each other, naked, panting and tired, while slumping against the kitchen countertop. They'd been making eye contact for a while but had kept quiet out of exhaustion.

Yoshiko was struggling to find the energy to speak first. Still, she'd never felt this level of physical exertion, and it was with a small level of terror that she realised she'd need to pull herself together for Asha's arrival, as she struggled to recoup her frayed mind, it was Alex that broke their silence.

"When did Asha say she'd be over? I'm not confident I have the energy to do much, at this point."

"She said she'd be over in a little over an hour, I'm guessing she lives far away, if I knew she'd take this long, I'd have decided to speed things up, although, I suppose it's good we both get a bit of time to recoup. Still, please accept my apologies, master."

"Master... Master... Master... I get that you're trying to be seductive, or something... but I'd honestly prefer it if you just called me Alex, okay?" Alex's voice betrayed his exhaustion.

"I'm just trying to offer my reverence to you, master..."

"Yoshiko, if you want me to like you, and I suspect that's your goal, I'd appreciate it if you'd stop trying to lie to my fucking face. I know this isn't how you act, and it's sure as shit not how you speak. Please, just talk to me like an actual human being."

Yoshiko directed her gaze to meet Alex's own, fire burned in both their eyes as Yoshiko evaluated Alex's composure, debating her options, double down, or relent?

"Your right, I've been a bit ham-fisted over the past few days, haven't I?"

"That's an understatement."

Yoshiko gave a deflated laugh.

"Yeah, I know... I'm trying to suck up to you... has it been working?"

Alex was too tired to give out a proper laugh, but he did his best with the energy he had left, giving out a whispered, albeit sincere laugh.

"Yeah, I've no real complaints, I've been appreciating all you're doing, don't get me wrong, it just bothers me that you're acting so... bizarre. Yoshiko, I've known you for years, not well, but we've known each other for ages, I know what you're like, and I've heard a good chunk of the snide comments you've whispered about me to Alice over the years..."

Alex paused for a couple of seconds as he collected his thoughts, Yoshiko sitting in stunned silence, trying to think of something to say, something to retort his accusations, but she had nothing, he knew more than she thought he did, she hadn't planned for this.

"Are we friends, Yoshiko?"

"I feel at this point we're more than friends, for starters, my asshole still feels you quite strongly."

"Yoshiko, I'd appreciate less evasive answers... I've felt alone for the past couple of weeks. Olivia's been away and hasn't been texting much, Rachel's always been distant, and has never felt more distant from me, even though we... *Alex trailed off as he made strong eye contact with the ground* Alice is... Alice. So, when I saw you show up at the circle, part of me wondered if I finally had someone whom I could talk to... another part of me wondered if I finally had someone who'd attack me with a switchblade, but that's beside the point... You've been acting like a different person for the past few days, and if you want to have some weird friends-with-benefits thing going on, that's completely fine, but I honestly miss talking to people, and right now, you just don't feel like 'people' to me, understand?"

"Alex... look, first things first, I don't attack people often, that thing with the switchblade happened once, and I didn't instigate that shit... I'm not getting into it, but I prefer violence as a threat, not an action, and that guy deserved it."

*Ahem* Yoshiko cleared her throat, trying to drop the subject, she now felt she probably shouldn't have addressed that at all.

"I have no real idea how to suck up to you, I'll be honest, outside of Olivia, I'm not particularly socially active, to say the least, part of that's just me being busy with work, the other half is me being generally maligned, so take that in mind when I say that I just wanted to make you happy, and I wanted you to see the value in keeping me around, that being said, yeah, I'll try and a ct a bit more normal now, that work for you?"

"It does, yeah... don't sweat it too much, we're in the same boat, outside of Olivia, I'm also pretty alone, and I've had no idea what I've been doing this entire time with you, I've just been limply reacting to everything, so I can't judge."

"Really? I was under the impression you had a lot of friends; you just seem the sort."

"Nah, I was unpopular as shit during high school, so I don't have any friends from there. and I've never really been the sort to actively seek out friends, so Olivia's kind of it, which I can't complain about, usually that's a great arrangement, except when she's away of course."

"Maybe this is prying too deeply, but I'm 90% sure I've heard you mention friends from high school texting you before to Olivia."

"Oh, you overheard that?"

Alex felt a headache looming as he gave thought to his high school 'friends', as he began his explanation.

"Friends is very much in air quotes there I'm afraid, I used to hang around a group of blowhards who thought of themselves as hot shit... Every clique needs some desperate loser to serve as a punching bag, and I was that loser."

"The good thing about being a punching bag is at least it teaches you how to take a punch." Yoshiko offered what little consolation she could think of while making a face she felt was sympathetic.

"It feels weird having you console me, come on, rub it in, you know you want to."

"I'll refrain, but you're right that I have a few good insults in mind, if I wanted to make you feel worse about this, I certainly could, just saying," Yoshiko spoke with warmth in her voice.

Alex chuckled. "I'll keep that in mind... any rate, apparently after high school ended, they started holding an annual get-together, they keep inviting me yearly, and I keep not attending because I'd rather not relive my high school days."

"Alex... Alex... the only people who'd think to hold an annual high school reunion are the people who peeked in high school, and from the sound of things, you certainly didn't peak in high school, but you've been doing pretty good lately, and haven't you? I mean, the past week, you bagged me, you bagged Rachel, you bagged my slutty roommate, surely by high-school schmuck standards, having sex with three hot women in quick succession makes you a stud, right?"

Alex broke his prolonged staring contest with the floor to turn his gaze to Yoshiko, he had to admit, in many ways, that Yoshiko was right, by the standards of a high-school clique, he'd been quite successful over the past few days, he was in a somewhat privileged position, still, self-doubt and self-loathing clung to his back like a parasite, his old self-perception still holding control over his perception of the present.

"You've got a point, I guess, but still... you called me on this a few days ago, I've spent the past few years pining after Olivia, that's pathetic, isn't it? I've been trying to communicate to her that I like her, but I'm just scared of mucking shit up, and I don't think she's noticed any of my signals, and I just..."

Yoshiko raised her hand to cover his mouth, it was the politest way she could think of to communicate the message "It's time for you to stop talking."

"I hope you appreciate the self-sabotage I'm inflicting by telling you the truth here, so listen up. You're right, she probably hasn't read any of your signals, but you most likely haven't read any of hers, you're as fucking clueless as each other, she likes you, and you like her. Despite the mutual interest, you're both in an equilibrium of cluelessness, nothing's going to change till one of you does something a bit bold, and both of you are unbelievably fucking risk-averse when it comes to your relationship, so years of silent pining is all you can achieve, trust me, your mutual lust is so obvious even I noticed, and I see you lot once a month if that, and I've spotted it clear as day every single time you two interact."

"I don't believe you." Alex's face was the picture of stubbornness.

"Fantastic, please don't believe me, remain ignorant. I don't want to compete with Olivia for your attention, I'd fucking lose. Quickly. So, please. I want you to remain in your state of obliviousness, spend your life in fear and doubt, just so long as you spend it with me."

Alex chuckled. "And now you're starting to sound more like yourself again, thank you."

"Anytime, I guess... I meant what I said, maybe you sucked in high school, don't know, wasn't there, but you don't suck now, so you know what I think you should do?"

Alex took a moment to think through his answer. "Speak with Olivia about what we both want out of our relationship?"

"Uh... well yes, you should do that, but I'd rather you didn't... No, what I think you should do is go to that party, you can take me as your plus one, you get to show off a hot girlfriend, make yourself look good, and if they suck half as much as I suspect they do, maybe you destroy their self-esteem, really turn the tables." Yoshiko was making her voice as energetic as she could muster, trying to really drive in a can-do spirit.

"I just feel like it'd be... awkward?" Alex sheepishly responded.

"I mean, yeah... probably, but you'd get a night to remember, you'd get some form of closure, I'd get an opportunity to spend time with you in a social setting, honestly, it's nothing but positives."

"I'm going to take a stab in the dark here, but are you just trying to talk me into this because you want an opportunity to go to a party?"

"That's not the only reason, but I'll confess that it's my primary motivation."

"Okay, fair enough... it sounds fun... the party is tomorrow actually, so I have no idea if that's enough notice for me to attend, I'll text the guy organizing it, but no promises."

"Tomorrow? Fantastic." Yoshiko's reply was curt, as she silently mused, she didn't have many days off work left, so, assuming Alex was still allowed to attend on short notice, she'd party with Alex tomorrow, and return to work the day after, it'd probably be wise to set Alex up with someone else to play with while she laboured, Rachel felt a bit too much like a threat, Rachel felt like she'd be able to convince Alex into something monogamous given time and opportunity, but Alice felt like a much more controllable form of dangerous, she had enough baggage attached to her that Yoshiko could probably break whatever bond she formed with Alex if she needed to, and the chance she'd still be dangerous after effectively lobotomising herself were... lower.

"Thanks for the encouragement... to be honest, I was feeling nervous as all hell, Asha just feels more than a bit out of my league, so when you said you were inviting her over it made me sweat a bit... come to think of it, I didn't know you had those connections... you just said you weren't exactly drowning in friends, so what's the story between you and Asha?"

"You have nothing to fear, if anything, I think she'll be more concerned with living up to your expectations." Yoshiko was trying to dodge the question, she had no good explanation lined up, so deflection was her main card to play, so she'd just have to feel her way through to a reasonable explanation.

Yoshiko internally chortled.

"If she's not already afraid of failing to meet your expectations, I'll drill the fear of failure into her when she arrives... been too long since I enjoyed a taste of sadism, far too much of the suffering recently has been my own."

"As for your question about my relationship with Asha, you're correct, we're not friends, not in the slightest, but we have an understanding between us, mutual interest, you could call it, and it's for her sake that I won't go into any more detail than that, I'm sure you understand." Yoshiko's smile was bright, and Alex noticed that Yoshiko seemed noticeably aroused, her nipples had noticeably hardened, and while sweat still permeated both of their bodies, he felt he could smell the scent of arousal coming from her.

"Mas... Alex, why don't you go get freshened up? Take a moment to catch your breath, Asha will be home soon, I'll text you when I'm bringing her up."

Yoshiko listened for the sounds of Alex's shower in the background and then began to redress, she found her discarded outfit on the ground and managed to quickly re-zip her dress, she didn't bother with her discarded underwear, instead opting to throw them in a nearby laundry basket, she'd just end up stepping out of them again anyways, what was the point?

Given time to think, and the ambient noise of Alex's shower in the background, Yoshiko could only lament that she hadn't told Asha to come with her or arrive at a preset time. She'd scold Asha for the time she was taking when she arrived, she didn't deserve it, of course, even Yoshiko knew that she couldn't reasonably expect her to speed in traffic, or just spend her time waiting outside, unaware if she'd even be called for, but she'd give her trouble all the same, a justification was merely an excuse, the absence of a justification just meant her sadistic tendencies were unjustified, but to someone in the position Asha was in, she wouldn't dare complain.

It was a while before Yoshiko finally received a text from Asha.

"I'm here, do you want me to come up?"

Yoshiko eagerly sent her a follow-up text.

"I'll come down to meet you, I need to give you some pointers, and ensure you understand your role."

Asha's response was a single letter. "K"

Yoshiko fired a quick message to Alex as she descended the elevator of her apartment complex.

"Asha's here, I'll bring her upstairs sometime soon, be ready if you can, if not, no problem, she'll wait for you, I'll make sure of it."

Meanwhile.

Asha was waiting in the downstairs lobby of what she presumed to be Yoshiko's apartment complex, a surprisingly nice building, with surprisingly nice amenities downstairs in the lobby, she was surprised that Yoshiko could afford to live in such a nice building, to be honest, she'd always expected to find that Yoshiko was living paycheck-to-paycheck in some damp rotten apartment building, she just seemed the sort that would find themselves destitute in large part due to their inability to work with others.

"What exactly is she going to have me do? Little-miss-switchblade can't possibly want me for anything good... how did she find out about my arrangement with the guys? I was so careful, well... as careful as you can be with a secret known by 50 different people... who leaked our arrangement to her? And when? If I find out, I'll kill the prick."

Asha's head was a mixture of impotent rage and sorrow when she finally saw Yoshiko emerge from the elevator.

"Asha, long time no see, good to see you found the place... I don't care for small talk, now that I think about it, so actually, just follow me."

Asha said nothing as she boarded the elevator with Yoshiko.

"This elevator takes a while, so I want to explain some things to you, real quick." Yoshiko's voice sounded almost enraptured with delight as she spelled out her orders to Yoshiko.

"First, I want you to sleep with someone, in whatever way they choose to define sleep, you will refer to this person as master, or owner, say anything else, and you'll piss me off, got it?"

"Yes, I understand."

"Second, I want you to hand me the dress you're wearing, it's nice, but you won't be wearing it when you walk in, your underwear can stay."

"Understood... but I'm not wearing underwear."

"Oh, I see, unexpected... guess you're going in naked then, hand me your dress, fight me in any way, and you'll see the extent of what I can do to you, failing to keep your secret is not the worst outcome tonight."

Asha was practically in tears as she knew she heard the complete lack of empathy in Yoshiko's voice.

"Understood."

"Also, another important point, you are here because you want to be, and are doing everything you're doing because you want to, don't imply otherwise in any way, or else I'll make you do things you don't want to do, got it?"

"I understand."

"One final thing I want to impress upon you, smile, you love all of this."

Asha's response was a forced smile.

"Good, you understand."

And with that final point, the elevator bell rang, and the doors opened.

Stepping out of the elevator, Yoshiko immediately extended her hand towards Asha, holding it open.

"Your dress, please."

Asha mutely unzipped the back of her dress, and let it fall, she wore nothing else, save a pair of heels, she wanted to cover herself, but her gaggle of lecherous admirers had long since trained her to resist those instincts, she walked with her chest thrust forwards as she followed Yoshiko through the hallways to her apartment, naked as the day she was born.

Given time to think as they walked, Asha quietly remarked to herself that if her former self could see her now, the version of her that wasn't quite so fame-obsessed, and merely wanted a friend or two, she'd probably weep, or laugh hysterically at just how out of hand things had gotten, even if Yoshiko hadn't come along, her life was already quickly spiralling, the demands of her entourage were untenable, she was already offering her 'friends' more than she could give, Yoshiko's demands were merely a drop in the bucket compared to the rampant prostitution nightmare her life had become.

"We're here, remember, this is all your idea, I'm not telling you to do anything."

"Of course, I understand."

Inside the apartment, Alex was waiting on the couch, freshly showered, and no longer reeking of Yoshiko, he'd put on the trendiest outfit he owned, part of him didn't want to embarrass himself in front of Asha.

Alex wasn't big into the popularity circuit at the university, he didn't care what most people thought of him, but he understood that Asha was a big deal, someone whose presence elevated your social standing by association, so he didn't want her first major impression of him to imprint that he was a slob, although looking around at Yoshiko's apartment, and inhaling the now unmistakable smell of sex that pervaded the apartment, things weren't looking good for his first impression.

He'd decided he'd to sit on the couch and try to appear somewhat nonchalant for when Asha first walked in. So he sat and began shifting through a variety of poses, before eventually laying back on the couch, trying to suppress his nerves, he finally began to hear some sound coming from outside the door, Yoshiko and Asha were speaking, but he couldn't make out any specific words.

Alex had no idea what he could say to Asha when she walked in, just saying "Hello" felt like it'd lead to an awkward moment of silence, and he'd rather not embarrass himself and Yoshiko by extension by revealing himself to be an inept communicator.

Alex's mind raced with options "

Could I start by saying 'you look nice' or something along those lines? That's not too forward, and it helps transition to something else... ugh... I don't know her, I don't think we have anything in common, what if I said something stupid like 'If it isn't the famous Asha, your reputation precedes you' that would be... I'm not doing that... guess I'll be winging it...'

Alex felt a sense of unease overcome him as the pair seemed to be taking a suspiciously long period of time to come in, muttering to himself some words as a form of quiet self-loathing.

"This is why everyone hated you in high-school Alex, you can't start a conversation for shit... or hold one... maybe I just suck in general come to think of it."