This is a work of fiction, and fantasy. While I do use many real terms and phrases, I am not a full-time writer, and cannot research actual procedures and science. Bear with me if you happen to know more about brain chemistry than I remember from 10th grade biology, but feel free to enjoy the story anyway.
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I had begun my career, as many scientists do, working at a college lab and teaching graduate students. I quickly had become an expert in neurology, and although not a medical doctor, I knew more about the brain than most typical biologists. Since I had student loans to pay, and teaching doesn't exactly make millionaires, I decided to work for a large bio-engineering company. My work mainly involved solving diseases of the brain: Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, you name it. But unlike my colleagues at the pharmaceutical companies, I wasn't trying to solve the problems with chemicals, I was trying with machinery.
On a typical day, I would give about a dozen different rats and mice a myriad of tests, to see how each would affect their brainwaves. But one fateful Thursday, I hit a breakthrough. I was working with a small white mouse, #34216, and subjecting her to different radio frequencies. I had a theory that if I found a magic frequency, the electromagnetic energy might trigger a brain response that I was looking for. As I started the test, I was monitoring the mouse. I wrote down which frequency I was using, a low frequency of 250.251 KHz. Nothing happened immediately, as I suspected, so I turned off the radio emitter. As I was powering down the machine, I noticed something strange. The mouse was humping everything in sight. Now, this is not totally out of the ordinary, mice are great at reproduction. But there was something in the way that she was acting that made me take notice. I wrote this down in my notebook, and moved on to a new experiment. As I worked on other mice with different methods, I kept thinking back to the radio frequency I had found.
It took every ounce of patience, but I waited until after work, when I was alone, to continue my experiment. I took out 30 different mice, half male and half female, and tried the 250.251 KHz radio waves on them. To my total amazement, ALL of the female mice started to have sex with the males, and they were the aggressors.
I couldn't sleep that night, laying awake thinking of the possibilities of my discovery. The next day, I decided to get to work early, and try some other animals. Since I was only supposed to be working with rodents, I had to do it before everyone else got to the lab. I tried my radio frequency on several animals: rabbits, dogs, cats, and even a rhesus monkey. The highlight of the morning, however, was with a chimpanzee named Eva, who got so horny; I thought she might try to rape me!
As my experiments wore on, I discovered that the radio only worked when the signal was within 3-4 feet of the subject brain, and that it only affected females. At last, I though, I could effectively end the "I've got a headache" excuse, and I'd be a billionaire. As I began mentally selling my billions, though, I realized that the FDA would never allow this product to be sold, and that most likely I'd have to do testing on my own.
I spent most of Friday afternoon working on a portable transmitter that was battery powered and powerful enough to emit the signal that I had found in the lab. I eventually fashioned something out of a garage door opener, and soon I had a "Portable Panty Remover." (Patent Pending)
When I looked up from my workstation, it was almost 10 o'clock on Friday night, and I decided to test out my device. I didn't know where to begin, though. I thought about going to the local bar, but being somewhat later in the evening, I knew that alcohol would be a factor, and I would not get great results. Now, I am a scientist, and a bit of a geek, but I'm not a poindexter. I know how to dress well, and I am reasonably attractive, and when I'm not working too hard, I do ok with the ladies. Still, not well enough for my taste, but I needed to know that if I used the remote on a girl, she wasn't just drunk.
