"I was in a coffee shop," she said. "It wasn't this coffee shop, but it might as well have been. The same kind of couches and steel-legged tables, a different color marble countertop, pretty young baristas in different fashions. White plastic Macintoshes open everywhere instead of silver ones."
I had just been looking at my notes when she sat down across from me. She hadn't told me much more than her name, but I knew as soon as I saw her she was a Hostling. How she knew me, I wasn't so sure, but I wasn't going to miss the story. I put the recorder on my phone and started to listen as she told her story.
Melanie's story
I was supposed to be working on my masters' thesis. I mean, I was, but my mind was drifting. My mind's always been like that. Okay, I was having a sex fantasy, but it was my own head, right? Not like anyone could know what I was thinking.
Well, that's what I thought. Then She sat down across from me.
"Oh, that's a good one," she said. "In the office where you work, right? What is it that you imagine they'd call you?"
I remember her hair. Black and shiny with this hint of green. Older than me, but I was young. I mean, I guess I still am but it doesn't seem that way. I was just beginning my Master's.
"What?" I said. "I don't know what you're talking about."
She just laughed.
"I'm working," I said. "Please leave me alone."
She laughed again.
"That's two lies you've told me in a row. You can't lie to me anymore, and you have to answer my questions. Tell me, in your fantasy, what do they call you?"
I looked up at her eyes. She hadn't looked that old, but now that I saw her eyes, I knew different. I was so scared. I'd have left my computer on that table just to get away.
But I had to answer her questions. I didn't understand why then, that was the worst part. I just had to, because she'd told me. And I couldn't lie. I looked down at the table as long as I could.
"Coffee girl," I said quietly, and the weight went out of my chest as I spoke the truth she was forcing from me.
She giggled.
"Of all the things it could be," she said.
"How are you doing this?" I asked. "How do you know what I'm thinking?"
She didn't answer, just kept talking.
"I mean, they could be calling you cumslut, or fucktoy or whore, couldn't they? Tell me the fantasy."
I shook my head.
"Please, I don't want to," I said. "Don't make me. I don't know how, but you already know it, don't you?"
"It's more fun to hear you say it," she said.
I looked out the window as long as I could. A city street like this one. Moms with kids and businessmen looking at their phones - they would have been Blackberries instead of iPhones then. Not so many cyclists as you see now, that's something I notice.
But I had to answer. It was like turning in a paper you didn't want to do.
"It's like the office I temp at," I whispered. "Or maybe it is that office."
"Can't hear you," she said. "Speak up."
Of course she'd been able to hear me. But other people hadn't. I spoke up.
"But in this, in this fantasy I'm not an employee," I went on. "I'm, I don't know, property. Something they own, like a computer or a copy machine. Something they use. Not like a person."
She took my latte and took a sip, just looking at me. I felt it in my chest again, I wasn't done. I had to say it all.
"They are all wearing their regular clothes, but I'm naked. Sometimes in the fantasy there are other people like me, people who have to walk around naked and do whatever they are told."
"Like what?" she said, as if she didn't know.
"Sometimes I have to go under someone's desk and give them oral sex," I said
A man at the table next to me looked at me, then back down with a smile on his face. Another woman had a scowl. When I blush I really blush, and I must have been full scarlet then. People could hear what I was saying, but no one said anything. And I couldn't stop. I wasn't allowed.
"Other times they bend me over the desk and fuck me. But lots of times they just have me doing office tasks. I bring them files and clean their offices. When I make a mistake they punish me. They bend me over the desks and whip me, or put those strong black metal paper-holding clamps on my breasts. They make me wash the windows while they stare at my ass and I'm showing my cunt to whoever can see in the window. I give people backrubs or I get paper when the printer is out."
"And you bring them coffee," she said.
That wasn't a question, so I shouldn't have had to answer. But the question was in her eyes. So I did my best.
"Bringing coffee, especially to men, well, it's this outdated thing that women used to do when we weren't seen as equal. If a man in the office told me to get him coffee I'd tell him to fuck himself. But if I were a piece of property, a thing that was owned, then I'd have no choice. I'd just have to do it."
She nodded.
"So. Coffee Girl."
"It's just a fantasy!" I said. "It doesn't mean I want it to happen."
She chuckled, and shook her head.
"Mortals are funny," she said, and the way she used that word made my stomach cold. "I can't tell you how many times I've heard that. But you didn't say you don't want it to happen, did you? You said it doesn't mean you want it to happen, but it also doesn't mean you don't."
"You're twisting my words," I said, shaking my head.
"If you say so. So, do you want it to happen? No, don't answer. Would you like to find out?"
"What?" I said.
"It's easy to say you wouldn't want it to happen when you know it couldn't anyway, isn't it? Well, you see what I can do. You don't understand what I am, of course. But you know enough. Do you want to come with me and see what it would be like?"
A big black SUV pulled up in front of the coffee shop and I knew right away it was hers. And I knew I could stand up right then and come with her.
I just sat there. I didn't say anything, because I didn't dare to. She just finished my latte and stared at me. Finally she leaned across the table and whispered in my ear.
"If you don't really want this, then you'll slowly forget this ever happened. But if you are lying, even to yourself, there is no escaping it. You can escape from everyone but yourself. Remember that over the next few weeks. I won't be the cause of any of it, except maybe the way a loud voice sets off an avalanche."
Well, I didn't get much thesis writing done after she left. I didn't get much done at all after that. I went to a different coffee shop, of course.
I tried to forget. I tried to let it fade from my mind. But the fantasy got stronger. Before it was something I'd gone to every few weeks, one of a lot of different fantasies I used. But now I was thinking about it all the time. Even at work. Especially at work.
Whenever someone asked me to do something all I could do was imagine they were telling me to take my clothes off, to bend over the desk. My cunt was wet all day at work. I started bringing an extra pair of underwear.
And on top of that, I'd lost my ability to have an orgasm. I'd come home, dripping wet, and I'd throw myself on the couch and slide my panties off and start rubbing myself. I'd almost get there, and then it would just slip out of my fingers. I guess that happens to everyone sometime, but imagine if it was all the time. And then five minutes later you'd need to come again.
I wasted entire evenings unsuccessfully masturbating. My friends started to slip away as I didn't call them.
I started wearing more revealing stuff to work. The office I was at then had a fairly casual dress policy. I'd wear short skirts with no hose. The thoughts of the guys looking at me made me so hot I could almost come when I was in the toilet stall.
But that wasn't enough. There was this guy who'd always been staring at my ass, even before my new personal dress code. His name was Steve, and all the women thought he was an asshole. He was upper middle management, and he was a sexist prick. He'd hit on a number of the female employees, including ones who were married.
So I started asking Steve if he wanted coffee. At first it wouldn't have seemed like a big deal, especially if I was getting some for myself. But I started getting him coffee even if I didn't have any.
I kept doing it until he started to expect it, started to ask me to bring it for him. At that point all the other women in the office were avoiding me, talking about me behind my back. I'd have done the same thing.
I'd been missing graduate classes, too, turning things in late, eventually not turning them in at all.
It was only a matter of time before I went for a drink with Steve. He was married so we couldn't go to his place. We went to mine instead. My roommate was out, thank God for small favors. I gave him a blowjob in his bed, and then he fucked me.
And while he was fucking me I looked up in his eyes, and he wasn't looking at me. He was staring at the wall, not even thinking about me. And I knew I was absolutely nothing for him but a thing to stick his dick in. I knew that he'd leave as soon as he came, without even saying a word. I knew he'd tell everyone tomorrow at the office that he'd fucked me, and that everyone would know.
That's when I came. After he'd gone I cried and cried. After I'd cried awhile, I masturbated and tried to come again but I couldn't.
Things went even more downhill after that, in school and at the office. My thesis advisor had a meeting with me and suggested I put my masters on hold for awhile, and I had to agree.
At the office, no one would speak to me. That's not true. The guys would speak to me, but only to try to get me to fuck them. I might as well have had a target painted on my ass after that. I told myself no way was I going to do anything like that again.
But that was a lie too. Two weeks later I went home with a guy from work again. Not Steve; after he fucked me he wanted nothing to do with me. David, the guy I went home with this time, wanted to come in my face. While I knelt under my cock I frigged my clit like crazy.
But this time it wasn't enough. Like Steve he left as soon as he was done. But I didn't wipe the cum off my face. I knelt in front of the mirror and looked at the sperm dripping down my nose and fingered myself, but I couldn't get there.
The next day I asked the temp agency to transfer me somewhere else. They said they'd have to see about it, and to wait. I guess they were hearing about me from other people at the office. It was pretty clear I wasn't welcome back where I was working.
So I went back to the coffee shop again, I mean the first one, the one where I met Her. I had my computer open. I told myself I was going to find a new job, make a change. Get my graduate degree back on track.
I'd been staring at the screen for three hours when she sat down across from me.
"I guess you need a new job," she said.
"What did you do to me?" I asked.