"Those were strong hallucinations," was the mantra playing in my head over and over since I'd arrived back at Epsilon, mysteriously. It was a convincing lie, mostly for the fact that there was still no way I could confirm that it wasn't. Epsilon personnel, doctors or psychics, sure as shit wouldn't hear this from me; the first encounter was bad enough, but the next day...I'd probably take my chances and break parole to flee if they found out what I did to rainbow death. "What she made me do," I corrected my thoughts constantly since waking in a puddle of my own ecstasy.
I fortunately woke up in a panic an hour later, wired enough to stealth through the compound, carrying sheets soaked in sweat and other fluids to the laundry, thankful for the low-hum of the washing machines and dryers, praying I didn't arouse anyone's suspicions, while I hit the showers to clean myself up, lightly banging my head against the wall to quell my own arousal. Flashes of the hallucinations wouldn't go away as the warm jets cleaned my body, they actually got worse the more I tried forcing them out. Maelstrom's nude body, toned, sexy full curves, covered in fine sweat, wrestled reason into submission. She smiled down at me like she enjoyed the internal struggle, reclining as I knelt in-front of it, covering her legs with kisses.
Just as I tried pulling away from the thought completely, blazing eyes caught my attention, and I was suddenly roped right back where she wanted me; it helped that the hallucinations gave the impressions of real rope against my hot skin. Feeling restrained and unwilling to move, I finally gave in, stroking myself to get it over with, hoping that would be enough to stop thinking about it. After cumming hard, checking around me to make sure I was alone, I let out a satisfying sigh, and letting any arousing evidence drain away. Putting the sheets in the dryer after drying off and redressing, I started walking towards the pantry for water, parched for reasons unknown. I stopped around the crossroads of the corridor that led to Kasdien's medical labs. For what felt like a long minute, I stood there with the urge to turn towards the labs, feeling like I'd forgotten something pertaining there. It didn't make sense as I usually would sprint past that passage of the crossroads, but this time a thought was nagging at me about something important.
"Half?"
Quick reflexes kicked in to turn and take a defensive stance against whoever scared the hell out of me; it was Copula, looking like she'd just emerged from sleep, almost as scared as me when I whipped around with fists up to meet her.
"Jeez, sorry Rita, or Copula, or-"
"Either is fine, and no need to be sorry," she laughed a little after catching her breath. "You alright?"
"Yeah, I think so. Just kind of...up right now."
"I know the feeling," she sounded oddly sympathetic, as her bed-head and tired expression after being scared told me she didn't mean at that moment.
"Really?"
"Yeah, reminds me of me after a hard mission, or really around the time I started going out on missions. Sometimes it's just part of the transition."
"True. I think I've taken for granted the toll it takes, and how tough you all are to keep doing it time and time again."
"You're just as tough, you know. Nobody else I know took on a Maelstrom on their first outing and..."
"Survived?" I finished, almost sullenly.
"Didn't want to sound so dark about it. We all survived, but no telling any of us would've survived what you did."
"I still count that as luck."
"Oh?"
I meant to elaborate, but kind of shrugged a "yeah" out, hiding my critical thinking. I'd nearly forgotten I was talking to Epsilon's best soft-sell interrogator. Feeling vulnerable and ready to open up in a conversation seemed the norm with Copula, whether it'd be her Hierarch powers or her tactful communicating. Having seen her use one or both to pry info out of the tight-lipped before, I couldn't tell if she was genuinely concerned, or fishing for Maelstrom info I was hiding, or both. Radio described the main form of her power as slipping into an outside mind like a muscle flex, two minds meeting at a joint place where she could take control upon subtle flexing of her abilities, hence a name like Copula; I kept my senses sharp for evidence of her looking to make a connection, but couldn't feel any.
Soft beeping in the distance reminded me of my sheets, filling the silence between us.
"Midnight laundry?" she asked.
"Yeah." Of everything that could've implied, I stuck to a hopefully believable half-truth. "Nightmares suck."
"That they do, but you'll be alright. And if not, I'm around if you need to talk to someone," she gave a small smile before yawning. "Though not tonight, heh. Night, Half."
"Night, Copula." I continued to the pantry to get a water bottle, downing it in almost one gulp to cool off my heated brain. Mentally probing myself to make sure I wasn't being mentally probed took effort, and I couldn't even guarantee that I detected her if she tried. One head-penetrating presence was enough, and I didn't need another to start advertising it. It would've been nice to be able to trust her with what could be, but trust still felt hard to come by living and working there, no matter whose fault that was. Either way, with me and my sheets finally clean, I snuck back into my room and thankfully went back to a dreamless, thoughtless sleep.
***
Later that morning, the heat quelled mostly, but I still managed to cautiously stroll the Epsilon hallways like 17-year-old me that successfully snuck out and lost his virginity; it was worth the risk at the time, but couldn't believe I didn't get caught. I tried regarding everyone non-chalantly, hoping no pair of eyes would linger on me any longer than usual. Having breakfast with my team, I was happy to focus how dull the oatmeal was, B&B's daily Half joke, anything to maintain the look of the shitty normal. While I sensed Copula glancing my way once or twice, I didn't look back to confirm, hopefully looking to her like I'd gotten totally past my "nightmares."
It certainly felt like back to normal when the team included me in their joint training again. Working on the punching bag alone was frustrating, but fun compared to being included in their training. Expender insisted I join them, and I tried turning them down. If a flare up in the middle of a combination punch to the bag didn't knock it off the chain ten feet away with the "weak" punch before the strong one could get any, I might've been more convincing. Feeling the Hier-half in my muscles, I sulked over where she wanted me. Despite being able-bodied at that moment, nervousness didn't go away as it was still an unknown countdown to when it would leave. Surrounding me like a bull in the ring, everyone was ready to attack me from all sides, with gentle-to-medium use of their powers.
From the word "go," I first dove in the B&B's direction, sliding and sweeping the twins' legs, downing both in one go before getting any taste of burning or freezing. I punched the ground near their heads to simulate knocking them unconscious. Next I aimed myself to meet Expender head-on, but felt Copula trying to make a strong, quick connection in my brain. Panic set in enough to thrust myself feet-first to Expender and push off of her stomach to launch myself at Copula, and it might've been excessive panic enough that halfway to getting to her, Hier-half bailed on me and I slid sloppily on the floor to land at Copula's feet. We looked at each other with shock, surprised one didn't do anything to the other.
"I surrender," signaling with hands held up.
"You won't get that luxury out in the field," Expender sighed, picking herself up from the floor.
"Do I get it in training?"