u/ByHerGrace
TIFU by taking my girlfriend to a live hypnosis show in Britain
Hi so I'm new to Ribbit (made this account just to post this) but I'm always hearing about these threads and thought I'd share my own weird story. I mean it when I say weird, so buckle up. I'm still not exactly sure how to process all of this, it's just a whirlwind I wasn't really ready for, like most whirlwinds I guess. So my girlfriend (23F) and I (22F) have been together for about six months and we had the crazy idea to plan a trip to Europe during our respective gap years. They just so happened to line up and I was planning on travelling, so I shyly asked if she wanted to join me and to my pleasant surprise she was all for it. My girlfriend, let's call her Jess, was particularly excited to see all the shows as she's something of a thespian. We've been in London for the past weekend catching a few west end musicals and rapidly running out of cash with the extortionate price of everything here. So here comes Monday morning and we're both feeling a little spent, figuratively and fucking literally, so decide to have a more casual time of it compared to the extravagance of our weekend. We hop around local bars (pubs) and cafes, walk around the huge park nearby, etc etc etc. It starts to get dark and I have the bright idea of seeing a show but something more lowkey, like if a band's playing or maybe a comedian y'know? Nothing seedy, though maybe Jess would have been down for that anyway. I'm starting to wonder if there's anything Jess isn't down for.
You know this isn't going to end great, dear ribbiter, or I wouldn't be posting to this sub. I think I just need some random strangers from the internet to tell me I'm being paranoid, delusional, maybe clingy. We were strolling, her on my arm like the charming lass I am (if one more person calls me the 'man' of the relationship I'm going to throw hands), and I noticed the sign outside a nearby venue for a live hypnosis show starting in roughly half an hour from then. With a giggle, Jess agreed and we went in and got settled with a few drinks. It was a nice old looking place, everything in England is so fucking old! Lots of castles and history and stuff we just don't seem to have back home, it's kinda fun even if they can be sliiightly underwhelming to actually visit if I'm being super honest. It was a dazzling, eye catching advertisement that led me astray I tell you. In glittering text it read: "For one night only - The Angelic Miss Maxine!" I have a lot of dumb ideas about fate and happenstance that make me depressingly vulnerable to this kind of FOMO marketing. One night only? Sign me up! I'm such a dumbass.
Sorry for the lengthy preamble, this is where things start to get interesting. Hypnosis! They usually tack it on to the end of a stage magician's show or whatever, I've seen a few where they make the hapless volunteer bark like a dog or pretend they're a chicken and I've naturally always been very sceptical of just how 'real' this whole shtick is. Like I'm not one of those wackos who assume some broke ass performer doing a show at a dingy shitheap like this is actually hiring paid actors to act as audience plants, unless Jess has something she needs to tell me, but I have to assume the social pressure just makes them go along with it. Or I did until, as you probably guessed already, my girlfriend got selected to go up and be dazzled by that pretty lady in the sequinned dress. I cannot stress how fucking weird and inappropriate this woman was, it was all business as usual at first. A swinging watch and gentle words, my Jess slumping in the foldout chairs alongside the other two members called up. This Maxine woman was a little overly familiar even from the get go looking back, like her sense of boundaries was just a little warped. It's arguably innocuous, I just didn't love the way her fingers ran through my girlfriend's hair or stroked down her back... it was just like how I'd touch her, you know???
I don't mean to come across as possessive or controlling, but I was certainly a little weirded out by that stuff. That was nothing though, it was only after the snapping of her fingers and those three rolling heads that I started to realise what sort of club we'd cluelessly stumbled into. I'm not going to say that it's a swingers bar but I'm not saying it's not, either. It's exactly the sort of seedy I was hoping to steer clear of, curse that dazzling sign that led me astray in its classy allure. I'm going to try and describe this in a way that doesn't feel like I'm telling strangers about something wholly indecent involving the love of my life, but I seriously need someone to tell me I'm not crazy (or to confirm that I am) and this is hardly a matter I can discuss with friends or family IRL. The hypnotist woman stands behind Jess holding her head up with a hand placed tenderly under her chin. That gentle touch made me squirm in my chair, but I didn't want to be a spoilsport especially given I dragged us in there. The hypnotist smiled and winked at the audience, like she was sharing a secret with us even if I found myself alarming lost at that moment. The woman whispered to my girlfriend, occasionally snapping her fingers like she was cementing the instructions, Jess buckling with every snap. By the last few finger snaps she was making noise, too, but that's all I'm going to say. A few seconds later, the hypnotist lady decided to stop depriving us of context, wanting to give a good show she began to explain to Jess (and us) what she was about to feel and how she was about to act. I'm still anticipating the chicken routine at this point, because I'm slow on the fucking uptake apparently. I had to wonder what all that whispering was about if she hadn't actually given the instructions yet, but Jess tells me it was asking for consent which does make sense given what comes next but also... huh??? That sure isn't what it looked like to me, the amount of talking and the firm, commanding snaps more looked like she was being
told
to be okay with it rather than asked. This is where I might be crazy, readers, but the next part is where I assuredly fucked up.