Ticled Pin

Author's note: this story follows characters first introduced in "Crafting the Perfect Story," this is designed to be read alone or for added enjoyment, in conjunctions with their first story.

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Who hasn't seen those too good to be true adds before? "Increase your penis size by 5x in just 5 weeks." "Hot singles in your area want to have sex with you—now!" "3 simple tricks for female ejaculation." Or James' personal favorite, "This one line will make any girl want to drop her panties."

"Yeah right, maybe if that line was 'I'm a billionaire,'" he scoffed to himself. James actually didn't have too much trouble with the ladies and had been happily married to his wonderful high school sweet heart for a couple of years now.

But, being an author meant "writer's block," it comes with the territory, and often James found himself aimlessly surfing the net to give his brain a break and his subconscious a chance to come up with something. However, this afternoon, James' attention was caught by an ad he'd never seen before:

"Hypnotism: click here and in five minutes or less we'll prove to you our kit works."

"I've got five to spare; this oughta be good, but I'm timing them," he thought to himself. "Okay, it is 1:25pm, here goes nothing." Click!

The only thing that popped up on his screen was the following message: "Thank you for your business! As per your request, we've charged your MasterCard. In two to three business days your kit should arrive."

"Huh," asked James, as if snapping out of a daze, "what just happened?" That was when he noticed the clock on the bottom right of his screen read 1:30. "No way. I just clicked a second ago." Was it a virus that advanced his computer's clock five minutes? But, checking the wall clock confirmed the time; James had to conclude five minutes really had passed.

"Wait, charged my card?!" exclaimed James as he logged into his online banking and discovered an order of $100 had just been placed to an Imports Limited. "Was I just hypnotized into buying their product?" It was actually the only reasonable conclusion he could come up with. "If this is for real, that is a pretty solid business model," reluctantly admitted James.

"Well, I'll keep an eye on this and see how it plays out and make sure I wasn't scammed." He'd hate to have to explain to Andrea (his wife) he was bamboozled out of a hundred bucks by a flashing online ad.

For the next three days, James diligently checked his account to make sure there were no fraudulent charges being made and to his relief there weren't. Now the question became "would they actually send anything, and what would it be?"

"Yesterday was a disappointment, but maybe today," hoped James as he grabbed his keys out of the dish and headed for the garage. "Honey, I'm headed for the post office," he shouted as he closed the door.

Andrea eagerly put down her lesson planning for 10th grade Honors English. It was her chance: James was off to the post office again; in fact, he'd been pretty excited about getting the mail the last couple of days. She raced up stairs to his "writing room" and powered up his computer. It was time for her secret voyeuristic fetish.

Since it was his personal computer, he never bothered to clear the history, probably assuming Andrea would use the main one if she needed a computer. She loved seeing what he looked at up here in his room—by himself. This week's sites included: a science fiction convention, Casting Couch Amateurs, stereo gear, teen's pleasuring themselves, music CDs, and first time anal girls.

"Yeah right," chuckled Andrea to herself considering the idea of some girl stuffing a porn sized dick up her ass for the first time and not finding herself balled up crying. "...ridiculous, oh well, he can have his fantasies. Ah, now here's something..." She was pleased to find something out of the ordinary; it'd been months since discovering anything interesting. "Imports Limited? I wonder what they sell."

Then everything made sense, "He must've gotten me a gift and wants to intercept it in the mail so he can surprise me—awe!" As she smiled to herself, pleased he still did cute stuff like this from time to time; curiosity got the best of her and she just had to know what she was getting, so she clicked on the link.

"Thank you for your business! As per your request, we've charged your Visa. In 2-3 business days your kit should arrive."

Before she even had time to consider what happened, Andrea heard the garage door and didn't want to explain being caught sticking her nose where it didn't belong. So, she quickly logged out, shut down, and snuck out right as James was coming inside the house.

Disappointment was an understatement, "Where is this 'kit' they were talking about?" James wondered to himself. All they sent was a little manila envelope. Opening it didn't yield much else; there was a single sheet of paper and a small sealed letter with the warning: Important! Read Directions Before Opening.

He couldn't believe his eyes as the literature tried to explain their hypnotism system was created using Aztec inscriptions, Egyptian scrolls, portions of the Tibetan Book of the Dead, and aspects of Buddhist meditation all brought together and carefully combined. It explained that inside of the envelop was a folded piece of paper containing the correct ratios and arrangements and the reader of it would be under his control for roughly an hour or two and then not remember a thing of what transpired. There were no lasting effects and no risk of permanent damage.

"Yep, I've been ripped off," confessed James. "But then how did they get me to buy this 'kit' in the first place?" Finally, concluding it was worth a shot before recycling it, James went in search of Andrea.

"Could it be tickets to one of my favorite bands, or maybe plane tickets to somewhere exotic, or maybe reservations for one of those languid winding train rides we've always talked about taking?" were the possibilities racing through Andrea's mind when she saw her husband approaching her in the kitchen with a letter in his hand. "What do you have there, James?" she gleefully asked.

Flying by the seat of his pants, James suggested, "Well, why don't you open it and find out?"

As she unfolded the piece of paper and began reading, James prepped himself for ridicule; however, Andrea's face just went blank and she didn't say or do anything.

"Oh, come on, you can at least laugh at its preposterousness," suggested James.

A mechanical "Ha, ha, ha..." was all she mustered before returning to a catatonic state.

Furling his brow, James suggested, "Pick your nose."

As strange as it sounds, it was the first command that came to his mind, and before he could pick (no pun intended) some better way to test his theory, Andrea's finger shot up and was digging for buried treasure. "Stop it," quickly brought her hand back down. "No way, that silly piece of paper actually worked," he said aloud.

He was woefully underprepared for this opportunity. He hadn't given any thought to what he'd have her do under hypnotism since he assumed it wouldn't work. How far could he take this became his consideration.

"Twist your nipples," was James's next test. By God, if she didn't reach up with both hands and give each a good spin. "Harder." She reached up again and gave them a more vigorous turn. "Harder!" This time not only did she grab hold extra tight, but used her arms in conjunction with fingers and wrists to really give them a good tweaking, causing an involuntary "Oww!" He knew he was going to be running extemporaneously from here on out, but he was sure whatever he came up with would be great!

"Turn around and bend over the countertop," was James's next command assuming, if anything, it kept her unnerving and guilt inducing blank stare away and would set them up for any number of adventures he'd soon think of. Wanting to triple check the depth of her trance, James gave her ass a few echoing slaps which did nothing more than push her temporarily forward eliciting an audible "oomph."

"Drop your drawers...slowly," said James as he stepped back to enjoy the full show. Gently she hooked her thumbs into her low-rise cotton Soffe gym shorts and gradually pulled them down and over her protruding butt revealing a bright yellow smiley face backed by pink, grinning nearly as wide as he was.

He loved the fact her smaller frame still fit into juniors' section underwear. They had the brightest colors and best designs, a lot more fun than women's and a lot less serious and more playful than the really "sexy" underwear adults were supposed to wear.

"Your panties, drop 'em, quick!" impatiently added James. Hardly before he finished his sentence, they'd joined the heap at her feet. Normally people step out of their removed clothes, but she perfectly stood there, her shorts and undies piled around her ankles.

Her beautiful perky little butt was sticking out, still a little red around the cheeks from the spanking. Parting her crack, he traced his finger softly between, meandering over her puckered hole, then between her pussy lips before finding her clit. With that concluding stimulation, she let out a reflexive "ah..."

"Turn around and rest against the counter." As she spun around, James delighted in seeing her only in a midriff exposing baby-t, her pubic area shaved bare leading his eyes down to the beginning of her slit. "Teasingly take off your shirt," said James as he caught a dining chair behind him and spun it around to sit in, desiring to not miss a moment of this unfolding show.

Folding the bottom hem of her shirt over her hands, Andrea began to bring it up exposing the rest of her flat tummy, but divulging only the bottom portion of her matching pink and yellow smiley faced adorned bra. "Show me your tits!" suddenly directed James as he sat chomping at the bit. Rapidly pulling her t-shirt the rest of the way off, Andrea stood before him nearly naked, save only for her bra preserving her last bit of privacy.

"Finish stripping," said James leaning back, ready to relish this final move. Reaching behind and unclasping her bra, then swiping the straps off her shoulder, Andrea let it slip before catching it, keeping her bare nipples concealed as she swayed her hips back and forth. The impulsively rising form in his pants begged James to increase the pace of this performance, but his higher reasoning concluded, "Patience is a virtue."

Eventually she let it drop leaving herself completely naked in front of his assessing gaze. The nipples on her small perky breasts were still erect from her vigorous twisting causing them to be puffy around the edges and pointy in the center, just the way he loved 'em.

Undoubtedly he wanted to take her right then and there with the effect her striptease had on him, but he knew sex included a messy finale which would be difficult to clean up and conceal; failure to remove all of the evidence of his unsanctioned advances would surely clue Andrea into thinking something had transpired without her permission or knowledge. That scenario was unacceptable; James was sure she'd already beat him senseless if she knew he'd taken advantage of her and done what he'd done so far.

But that didn't stop/prevent him from becoming even hornier, and since she wouldn't notice or remember anything, he dropped his pants and boxers freeing his cock from its restrictive restraints causing him to sigh in relief. Show Girls wouldn't have allowed this behavior, but Andrea sure wasn't going to object. "Can I have a lap dance, please?" asked James, still instinctively stashing his hands under his lap, so they wouldn't wander anywhere they shouldn't.

Before she could straddle him, she had to spread her gait, giving James a glorious shot of her shaved slit and pink pussy. Once seated on his lap, she interlocked her hands behind his neck and leaned in, letting her soft tiny bosom rub across his face. Inhaling her scent, he parted his lips allowing the wet inner portion to occasionally sneak over a nipple.

Throwing her head backwards and arching her back she mock rode his cock, moaning in the process. Wrapping her legs around his back, she pinned his arms to his side before lowering her torso over his thighs and sliding her hands down his shins before catching her weight with her hands on the floor.

She was then able to raise her pelvis and place her pussy in front of his face while swirling her hips. James had always been frustrated by the lack of light in strip clubs; he understood why, but he felt he was missing half the sights in shadows because of it. The skylight in the dining room afforded Andrea no such obfuscation, allowing James to notice how her show was causing her to involuntarily dampen.

Getting up and turning around, Andrea bent over the counter top and used both hands to reach behind and spread her cheeks. James was able to see both her puffy lips, slightly spreading to give him a peek inside, and her tightly shut crinkled hole. His eyes were pining for her rear as she walked backwards and sat on his lap.

Resting her hands on his bare thighs and wrapping her feet around the front two legs of his chair, Andrea caught his cock between her cheeks and pressed back until it was pinned between her flat butt and his chest. Slowly she rose and fell—fucking him with her crack. Forgetting the rules, James brought his hands up to her hips and began directing her empty thrusts; getting up and spinning, Andrea landed a moderate slap across his face before waving her finger back and forth signaling he'd performed a "no-no."

Desiring to be an active participant, James found being in the kitchen afforded him little to work with; however, he thought of a fun task for the basting brush sitting in the drying rack. Grabbing it, he directed her to "Use your hand to expose your clit." She reached down and did as he asked, using her pointer and middle finger to part her folds and leave her clit open to the elements.

As he brushed the soft dry bristles over it, her tickled pink began to reflexively secrete fluids prepping her for the penetration that usually followed such touches. Left then right, up then down, was finally followed buy him brushing it like a snare drum. Her rapid short breaths and wobbly knees were a telltale sign she was getting close.

"Finger fuck yourself," was his next command. Delving two fingers inside she moaned thrusting them in and out causing her to become even more inundated with juices. "Use three fingers now," continued James. With a little difficulty, Andrea managed to resume her steady pace. "Now four," impulsively updated James. Struggling with his recent revision, Andrea rearranged her fingers until the tips were aligned in a square, but noticeably spreading in diameter back to her first knuckles; without a choice, she carried on.

Despite how much he would've loved to have seen her struggle trying, James decided to not have her futilely try stuffing her whole hand inside. While he was pondering what was next, James had Andrea seductively raise her glistening fingers and suck each one clean no different than if they were covered in Hot Cheeto crumbs.

Glancing at the clock, James noticed he'd already burnt half his time and concluded he had a little less than an hour before it was time to quit and cover his tracks. "But what to do now?"

James hated zucchini right up there with cucumbers and cauliflower, so when he saw it sitting in their fruit basket mocking him with its phallic shape and comical girth, inspiration stuck. While he was washing it off, James directed Andrea to, "rub yourself and get yourself good and wet." She had no problem accomplishing her goal.

"Place this in your vagina," directed James as he handed her the still wet wedge. Admitting to himself that even his own member couldn't match the size of this overripe squash, James wondered how she'd fair. Persistence finally caused her pussy to give way as it arduously swallowed it up as she inched it further in. A photo would have been worth a thousand words and a thousand jerk offs as she stood there with a food item stuffed so tightly inside of herself it couldn't slip out.

"Fuck yourself with it," was James' next idea, and with each diligent thrust Andrea let out an "oh, oh, oh." Even if she wasn't cognizant of it, James could tell her body was beginning to really enjoy this depravity as the poor zucchini was being coated in her love juices, to the point she struggled maneuvering it without it slipping from her grip. Glancing at the clock, James knew he had time for one more move, and he nearly dismissed his first thought as too kinky. But his better judgment took hold and told him to go for it and get his $100 out of money's worth out of this 'kit.'

James was impressed by the length of the zucchini that was coated in her glistening juices, so he wondered how she'd soon fair. "Bend back over the counter, reach behind, and stick it in your ass," said James wondering just what she'd do when she encountered a task she couldn't complete.

She sure tried, it was not for lack of effort, but she failed to shove it up there, it was simply a matter of size. Frustrated she couldn't complete her directive, Andrea did the only thing her body could think of: ask for "help." Nearly busting a nut at hearing his wife ask for help sticking a zucchini up her ass, James looked both ways to make sure no one was going to catch him in the act, relieved to find they were alone, he did his best to "help her." Luckily for both of them, she'd done an excellent job of coating the squash with her lubricant, allowing him, with adequate force to actually cause it to slip past her sphincter and begin up her ass.

She winced then whimpered as her ass stretched to the max then bore down and tried to expel the foreign object lodged up there. "Ahh!" was all she said as it finally made its way up her bowels. Feeling like he should be feeling guilty for all he'd just done to his loving loyal wife, James momentarily thought of retracting his actions (and maybe the squash); however, since he'd gone this far, he thought "what's the harm in finishing?" "Clamp down with your ass and hold it inside of you," was what he said while letting go of the produce to find it held tightly.

Taking his seat again, James directed Andrea to get on all fours and "come over here." On all fours she began to saunter over to him, swaying her narrow hips in the process. It looked like she was prairie dogging a giant green turd. As she brought her face between his legs, she looked up at him, expectantly, with those bright green eyes, her shoulder length red hair swaying forward exposing her pale neck and freckled shoulders. "Give me a blow job...and be sure to swallow," requested James, "Oh, and when I climax you do too."

Resting on her knees and sitting up, she spread her legs enough to allow her hand in between them lowering her butt in the process 'til the end of the zucchini touched the floor. Any amount that had slid out was now pushed back in and each movement her body made, up then down, let the zucchini nearly escape before reentering. James couldn't tell if this was an intentional arrangement she'd made or simply the way their bodies were situated. Andrea did always enjoy something stuffed inside whenever she was rubbing her clit. He didn't know what would crack first under pressure—that poor squash or her tiny 'lil ass.

Each slide of her pressed lips over his cock stretched her asses' pressed ring over the veggie dildo, eliciting an uncomfortably rhythmic "argh," reminding James just how far he'd gone. With one hand furiously swirling over her engorged clit and her empty pussy leaking lube down her legs, Andrea was left with only one to balance herself as her legs wiggled and weakened. Andrea instinctively knew if she lost balance when her rapidly building orgasm hit, his cock would hit the back of her throat. To save herself before it was too late, Andrea sucked with such force she nearly pulled James' cum straight out of his balls.