Hello? Oh, Thank God! I've been trying to reach you for ages and only now the call went through. You must come quickly! My upstairs neighbors are...
Excuse me? What do you mean 'who are you trying to call'? This is the Sheriff's Department, right? No? Don't mess with me! I'm already nervous enough as it is and...
Oh, you're serious! I'm sorry then. I have no clue how I got things so wrong. Apologies for bothering you. I will hang up now.
If I need any help? I wouldn't be contacting the Sheriff's Department if I didn't, don't you think? Well, I suppose this could be one of those prank calls but I honestly hate people who do that. They're stupid, make fun of the hard-working ones such as myself and could definitely need some discipline to... for fuck's sake! BE QUIET, YOU TWO! DO YOU HEAR?
Are you okay? I didn't scream too loud, I hope. Yeah, I'm pissed. I don't enjoy losing my temper but those two really get under my skin. They too need a lesson, you know? It's fucking 3 am and I need my beauty sleep but do they care? No, they don't. They only care about their belly buttons, their hard cocks, and tight pussies. They only care about sex and mindless pleasure, the hedonistic pricks! They should be locked up in a small cage and have the key be lost for good but they're into so much kinky shit already they would probably love that too. I need to calm down. Come on, girl. Deep breaths now. One, two, three... and exhale. One, two, three... and exhale. Hmmm, yes...
Much better now and thank you. I'm honestly glad you're still on the other end of the line because you can be my witness. My friends say I overreact a lot, that my neighbors aren't really that noisy but take a good listen. You can hear it, right? The constant banging, the wailing moans... I don't get it. If they're supposedly 'having fun' why does she scream like her whole family just got killed by an axe? And his language? I've never heard so many expletives on a row. I almost want to go full Samuel L. Jackson and shout: 'Enough is enough! I have had it with these mother-fucking neighbors on this mother-fucking condo!' Man, that was such a dumb movie but I loved every second.
So yeah... my neighbors... they have a problem, you know? Actually, they have lots of them but this outweighs them all. They're perverts, genuine freaks of nature, if you ask me. They're addicted to sex but not just any kind of sex, oh no! Hypno-Sex - can you believe it? I didn't when I first heard of it but apparently it's a thing. He can't get his dick hard unless he's in an altered state of mind and she feels no pleasure either if not under the same influence. It's mental, right? I mean, it has to be! I know there are some strange fetishes out there but hypnosis? Come on! That shit is good for stage shows, for making people laugh thinking they're chickens for a few minutes or something.
The first time I heard of it, I was like: "What the fuck? Seriously? Don't you people have anything better to do with your lives?" because I honestly don't get what's the fun in getting your thoughts warped like that. Then again, I don't understand why people get high or drink until they pass out so... When I asked them what was the point, they couldn't explain it either, "I had to feel it to believe it" or something like that was the best I got but I don't really need fortune cookie philosophy, you know? I need to sleep, damn it!
I'm being a nuisance, aren't I? Yeah, I know I am. I'm trying to keep it together but the breathing exercises aren't helping anymore. I don't have an axe but I'm this close to picking up a kitchen knife, knock on their door and...
Huh? Yes, you're right. I shouldn't think stuff like that. Ridiculous thoughts have no reason to be. Angry thoughts are wrong. Violence isn't the way but I can say the same about quiet compliance. Respect is a beautiful thing and they aren't respecting me or anyone else that works hard by pulling this stunt repeatedly. The first time was mildly annoying yet tolerable. The second was a horny mess and don't even get me started on the third! Things have been escalating out of control ever since, I kid you not. If I were to tell you all the stories of those two...
Don't worry, I will not do that. You're already being patient enough by letting me ramble on and on. I already said I'm grateful, didn't I? Let me say it again. Right now, knowing you're listening is the only thing keeping me in check so thank you. Thank you for being such a good listener and for believing in me. It's funny how a complete stranger is much more agreeable than my flesh and blood.
What do I mean by that? Oh, it's nothing. Please don't think about it. I should have just kept my mouth shut and... you really want to know? Okay but it's not a funny story. I wish it were.
I have a sister. We're twins but I'm the oldest. Despite being the spitting image of one another, we never got along. She was always jealous of me when we were growing up because I was the popular one and she... well, she was the bookworm, the "Miss-God-forbid-if-I-don't-study-for-a-day-to-attend-a-party." She was always resentful that I could get good grades even without being glued to the books like she was and never got over it. I made the unfortunate choice of calling her last week on her birthday and all and when I told her what was going on with my neighbors, you know what she said? She said I was the one being jealous because they had what I didn't! I wanted them to stop fucking one another because nowadays no one wanted to fuck me! It was the most egregious and brutal thing she ever said and all because she's still pissed I'm smarter than her! It makes no sense. Nothing does. When will it stop?
Let's get this one thing straight, okay? I'm not jealous, okay? And I have plenty of guys that want to fuck me but I have certain... standards. The men I enjoy having around need to have special characteristics to keep me interested and most of them fall flat in that regard. I know my neighbor wants to fuck me, he even said so but I can't take him seriously especially knowing what he does to his wife.
You see where I'm going with this, right? Yeah, he beats her. As if the hypnosis thing wasn't enough, he physically abuses her while she's entranced. She can't defend herself because during those moments her free will is not there, so she takes it in, and even thanks him for it! I bet my sister would tell me it's her fault, too. Where did I put that knife again?
No, you're right. I have to keep it together, put those wild notions behind me. I need to forget. Forget everything. I need to forget everything that doesn't matter and focus only on what's important. I'm not jealous. I'm not whiny. I'm not an awful person trying to sap other people's fun. It's just...
Okay, here's what really bothers me in all of this. It bothers me she submits to a man. What's up with that? Women shouldn't deny their true nature when they have all the power in the world. Behind every man should be a woman fucking his brains out, making him believe he's great on his own. Most will never admit it but men are simple creatures and their ideas are so much easier to influence when they believe they had them in the first place. Let me demonstrate my point with a tiny example.
Here we are, both separated by quite the distance. You picked up the phone late at night and listened to my voice. Some time has passed already but you've been so absorbed in my dramatic little tale you're not sure how long it's been. Maybe it was just a minute, perhaps it was ten. It's possible we've been at this for hours. You don't know just like you don't know everything I've said thus far. You remember bits, that much is certain, but if I were to ask you to describe in detail the whole sequence of events, you would lose yourself along the way. Too many stories, right? Too many thoughts... men aren't used to having that much information running through their brains. After a while, they zone out, go into auto-pilot. The monotone sinks in and that's when they truly listen.
Listen. Do you always answer the phone at this hour to hear a stranger talk about problems that don't concern you?
Listen. Do you remember picking up the phone or not? Good question, isn't it?
Listen. Could it be you were the one to call me in the first place but why would you call a perfect stranger?
