Roni walked absentmindedly across the parking lot, she was numb and dismayed at what had just happened. Her dismay was for how wanton she had become. She couldn't believe she had wanted his sex so bad, she had gotten on her knees and pleased him. She couldn't deny it had made her hotter than she had ever been and her orgasm was far better than any she had ever experienced, but to just let loose and do what ever he wished her to do, was... well, hot. That was the only word she could use, hot, from the moment he put his arm on her shoulder till he lead her to the door, had been hot. Here she was walking across a public parking lot, wearing a pair of jeans soaked in her own juices, It was surreal, but it felt naughty and hot at the same time.
Roni, clicked her keys and opened her car door, then glancing around to see if any body was close grabbed the paper towels she kept in the door and tore off a bunch of them and placed them on the seat, she really didn't want to explain that kind of stain down at the station. Gingerly slipping behind the wheel she pulled out and headed home.
Who would have thought she could have such an experience with of all people, her therapist, Sean Howard. Sean was a nice guy, not handsome in the way you see on TV or anything but he was charming, considerate and easy to talk to. Someone nice to be with. He was almost 30 years her senior, not someone she would have considered as a lover. Especially when she considering his history. Fairdale being a relative small town, it was hard to keep a secret. What had happened to Sean was widely known. Sean had been a happily married man until 15 years ago, when a freak automobile accident took his wife and two teenage children. He had taken six months off to mourn, then had returned to his therapy practice. He was well respected by the community and was known as a honest, good man. She couldn't deny she always felt content and at ease around him. He had a presence, a something that attracted her.
That was what scared her, after the disastrous marriage she had endure with Jake and the other men she had been attracted to. She didn't need that kind of stuff anymore. Jake had been a domineering asshole. At first all she had seen was the domineering part, he had practically forced her to marry him, like always, she had not known how to say no. He stayed out late almost every night and came home reeking of alcohol and took her, there was no love, no consideration, no concern for her at all. He would take her, any way he wished, in any hole, he would twist and mash her breast and nipples and pinch and twist her arms till she cried and he would laugh. She hated him, yet at the same time, desired him. The hurtful truth was, she probably would still be with him if he hadn't run off with some woman he had met at the bar. But he had. She was determined to change herself into the woman she knew she could be. She had enrolled into a Forensic Science program and gotten her bachelors degree, moved away from her home town and accepted a job here with the Fairdale Police Department. Now this, but it had been so hot, it was different, there was none of the pain and hurt her previous dominant partners seemed to revel in. Damn it, he was even considerate when he dominated her.
Arriving home at her modest 2 bedroom ranch she had bought when she came to town two and half years ago, she pulled into the drive way. Oh no, Mrs. McCarty her next door neighbor and resident gossip was watering her flowers. Thinking quickly she backed the car into the drive way to put herself on the opposite side of the car and popped her trunk like she was going to load something from the garage. "Hi, Mrs. McCarty, how are you doing today."
"I'm fine, dear," replied Mrs. McCarty, "You're back late. Is your therapy sessions, taking longer?"
Roni cringed inside, but replied in an even voice, even though she knew a slow flush was spreading up her chest. "Yes, Dr. Howard has changed my therapy and the first few will take a little longer." Unlocking the garage door she grabbed a box of aluminum cans she had been meaning to recycle and put them in the trunk. "Gotta go, the cats will be wanting fed and I need to eat too."
As she started closing the garage door, she heard Mrs. McCarty chuckle and say "If I were having "Therapy" with Sean Howard, I wouldn't mind staying late and maybe inviting him to share my couch." The chuckling faded as the door rolled shut.
Roni froze, her body refused to move, as her mind fast forwarded thru her day, starting from opening this very door, to this moment in time. Her whirlwind thoughts, slowed and dwelt with crystal precision on each exquisite detail of her time with Sean, just thinking his name caused a surge of... Desire, Fear, Want? An impossible to name emotion that started low in her womb and spread upward like a blush, setting nipples and sex to reverberate with their own tingles of sympathy. Did he cause that, did he make her feel this way, just thinking his name. But she knew it wasn't a command he had given her, she knew he had given her some, "commands", but this wasn't one of them. This was her feelings, all on her own. Shaking her head, she decided after the cats were fed, She would take a long hot bath. She had to get out of these clothes. She'd run the water while she took care of the cats, then a glass of wine and a bath with lots of frothy soap. She'd clean her body of the evidence of the day and maybe her mind would see answers, instead of questions. Turning the light out, she opened the door and entered the kitchen.
With a sigh, Roni relaxed into the oversized sunken bathtub. This was one of the reasons she had liked this house, an opulent bathroom with a high-tech tub that had numerous jacuzzi and spa setting, but tonight she set the temperature to hot but bearable and just relaxed. She lay back with her eyes closed and went over the afternoons events. She wasn't concentrating on actions but on feelings, her feelings. She had spent the last 6 and a half years trying to get rid of her desires, her wants, her needs and in one brazen, lustful, slutty afternoon, everything she had tried to bury and kill had come back in a rush of orgasmic pleasure.
Sean had been hinting for the last six months, that she was never going to be able to leave that part of her psych alone. She was never going to be able to cage it permanently. The best she would ever be able to do, was to use it to her advantage, to channel it and her feelings, into a set of behaviors that would allow her to be happy and productive at the same time.
Roni thought back to her childhood, her father had left, when she was five, she could remember the feelings, seeing other kids with their dads and how happy they seemed. She only saw him once or twice a year and she wanted so much for him to love her, she tried everything she could think of but over the years the visits had dwindled till a Christmas card when she was twelve was the last she had heard from him.
Roni remembered vividly when it all changed. She had stayed all night with her girlfriend Stacy. They had changed into pajamas's and were watching TV in the basement family room. When Rod, Stacy's brother, had walked in and flopped down on the love seat across from the couch where they where sitting. Rod was 20 and would be a college sophomore in the fall. He was tall and muscular, one of the star athletes at the University. She'd had a crush on him forever.
