Just...think of it as practice,
Brandy told herself as she rode the elevator up to Emily's dorm room.
You're going to be a psychologist someday, right? You're going to have to treat patients with Social Anxiety Disorder. Dealing with Emily Chalmers is going to teach you everything you need to know about that.
The pep talk wasn't working. Brandy felt her heart sink somewhere into the pit of her stomach when she heard the tiny chimes of the elevator announcing her arrival at the seventh floor. Not for the first time, she cursed her bad luck at getting Emily as a partner for their group project. It wasn't that she was dumb, or anything-everyone knew that Emily outperformed them all on every test, aced every paper. It was just that, well...
Brandy knocked on the door to Emily's dorm room. It opened to reveal a young woman with long, strawberry-blonde hair and thick, coke-bottle glasses, staring directly into the carpet as she mumbled something too soft for Brandy to even hear. "Um...thanks," Brandy said, deciding to assume that the mutter represented some kind of invitation, and walked inside.
At first, Brandy had wondered if it wasn't some kind of reaction to her skin color. Like maybe she was from Duck's Ass, Nebraska or something, and she was nervous about talking to black people. But no, this was the way she was around everybody. In class, she sat way up at the back of the lecture hall, in a corner seat, with her head down scribbling notes. When the professor did call on her, she responded without looking up in a voice barely above a whisper. After about a week, the professor had stopped calling on her at all.
Emily sat down on the bed, still not looking directly at Brandy, and made a loose gesture that could have meant 'sit anywhere'. Brandy set down her book bag and plopped down on the floor in front of her. "So, class project," she said, trying to sound approachable and friendly and non-judgmental. Emily switched her stare from the floor to the ceiling, and suddenly Brandy was rattled all over again. "I feel like we're, um...I feel like we're maybe getting a little behind? I mean, I don't want to sound critical, but...um, well, we've been meeting for a while now, and...I mean, it just doesn't seem like we're making progress. The project is half our grade, and it's...um...it's due in..."
Brandy trailed off for a moment, trying to collect herself. Emily's wall of silence must be getting to her worse than she realized-she'd totally blanked on the due date. "It's due soon," she continued, knowing that she sounded like a total bimbo. "And I was thinking, we should really...um, we should..." Brandy felt an icy grip of panic clutching at her as she realized she couldn't think of a single thing they'd done. They hadn't settled on a topic, they hadn't agreed on how to split up their responsibilities, they hadn't worked out a schedule...the entire project suddenly loomed before her like a vast white expanse of unexplored territory. "...we should really get to work," she finished unconvincingly.
Brandy was hoping that a sense of urgency might break through Emily's shyness, but the other girl just mumbled again in response. Brandy tried to pretend she'd understood it. "Um, okay," she said brightly. This time, she wasn't entirely faking the cheer in her voice-she'd just remembered that the project wasn't due for ages. They had plenty of time. She let a little of the tension drain out of her shoulders and leaned back a bit. "So, we should probably talk a bit about our topic, then. Let's try to think of something that plays to our audience. Professor..."
Brandy stopped. She'd been about to say, 'Professor Braithwaite', but that wasn't right. She'd had Braithwaite two semesters ago, with Emily. She remembered it all too well, because they'd had a...they'd done a...they were in the same class, and they'd been partnered up on a project, just like now. Brandy remembered that part clearly. But now they were taking, um...they were in a class, together now, a new class? But who taught it? And there was a...new project? No, that couldn't be right. It was the same project they'd been working on for...for...
Emily muttered something, but she swallowed her words so bad that Brandy couldn't make it out. Probably the name of their professor. With a sigh, Brandy shoved aside her irrelevant concerns and decided that clearly this was not the day for them to make any real progress on their class project. Emily was still too nervous around her, and Brandy was so frazzled from study that she couldn't even remember what class she was taking. Maybe it would be best to just try to get Emily more comfortable around her. "So, Emily," she said, climbing up onto the bed, "before we get started, I was thinking we should just, y'know...hang out a little. Get to know each other."
Emily looked back down at where her fingers were tracing patterns on the bedspread. She mumbled out a response too quiet to hear. Brandy tried not to get frustrated-it wasn't Emily's fault that she was so shy. Maybe it would help if Brandy did something to open herself up, to really reveal herself to the other woman and give her an air of vulnerability-