Chapter Five
I opened my little Google Chromebook while she made some more iced tea, and went to my Amazon Prime account. I looked quickly at her Visa card and entered the numbers into my account. Then I scrolled through Adult Diapers and ordered a big box (100-count) in XL. I wanted to put her into a diaper, for one thing, a more embarrassing and degrading thing than her relatively benign Depends. But also, the Depends were just a pain in the ass to get on and off of her. The diaper would be easier on me and I am, after all, very fucking lazy.
I lingered over my tea and then over our chat.
She was fascinated, after she got over the initial shock, about how I would get the pictures I had promised.
"Oh hell," I said, leaning back in my chair, "I know her type. She'll LOVE posing and I, of course, will tell her those pictures will never be seen by another."
Her eyes were shiny.
"You're liking this, aren't you?" I said.
She blushed prettily.
"I'm just picturing her face when I show her the pictures," she said.
"Don't you worry," I said, "before we're done," making sure to include her in my little program by using the plural, "you'll have a complete collection of that whole crew at the table where I first asked you to dance."
"Hadn't you better get going?" she said, "you said an hour."
I laughed, and said, "let her wait. It'll do her narcissistic ass good."
She giggled and blushed at that.
"It's like you already know her," she said.
"I do," I said, not mentioning that I knew Doris too, or at least her type, the poor thing.
We talked a bit more, but she was too, well, "excited" is probably as good a word as any, to be much of a conversationalist.
"Okay," I said, "I'll put on some old clothes and see what darling Darla has on tap."
I pulled on my old jeans, an old T-shirt, this one from a visit to a state park in Michigan, my old tennis shoes.
Back downstairs I kissed Doris lightly, said, "I'll be home in time to take you out to dinner."
She smiled at that, stood, and kissed me lingeringly.
As I opened the door I turned and said, very casually, "love you, babe."
Her eyes were big as I let the door shut behind me.
I plugged the address into my Google Maps and it led me, faithful guide as always, across town. As I drove I had to adjust my role from smitten swain to predator. It wasn't hard at all.
When I pulled up I got my small bag of tools out of the trunk of the car. I actually am a competent handyman, something I learned from my dad.
I walked up to the front door, looking quite professional I thought.
I didn't have to knock, she opened the door.
And I knew Doris was right. This bitch was a real whore.
I guessed her at maybe pushing 60. She was a very pretty woman in the round-faced soft way that some plump women achieve once menopause strikes. Her cheeks were full, just a hint of thin jowl lines offsetting her round face. Very clear blue eyes looked out from under a curly fringe of strawberry blonde hair. It was obvious she had it tended to a bare minimum of once a week, maybe more. Her makeup was perfect as well. She was one of those lucky women with eyelids that, while soft and slightly wrinkled, were full and the pale blue shadow on them was the perfect color for her eyes. They gave her a slightly mysterious look. Very light eyeliner and carefully arched eyebrows set off her face. Her nose was a little button. Her mouth was small but full, with full red lips, carefully outlined with very red lipstick.
It was her clothes that made her obvious though.
She was in a light T-shirt, the sleeves cut off showing plump, very smooth arms. She had cut the neck out of it showing an interesting display of cleavage. Her designer jeans were made by someone who understood that women and men are built differently. She had on open-toed, high-heeled sandals. Her toenails and her fingernails were bright red.
To describe her in one word, she was "gaudy." It wasn't just the hair or the face or the jeans or the shirt or the nails. It was the package. She was greeting the handyman, for Christ's sake, with dangling earrings, rhinestones I assumed but they might have been diamonds, she seemed like that kind of a woman. A gold chain on her neck added to the image as did the simple gold ring in the middle toe of her right foot.
All in all, she was one hell of an attractive woman.
Her teeth, when she smiled, were very white, but they were all hers. I knew I would not find a denture cup or Depends in her bathroom.
I was very glad she had been the first, among Doris's crew, to call.
Her hand, when we shook, was strong, the grip firm.
"Come on in," she said. Her voice was husky, she made me think of Barbra Stanwyck from an old movie I had seen once. I figured if she didn't smoke now she had in the past. Maybe some whisky in that tone too.
"So," I said, "whattya got?"
She chuckled, a deep throaty sound, and said, "whattya want?"
I laughed, pretending not to notice.
"You said something about a leaky faucet?" I said.
She frowned at that, a literal frown with the corners of her mouth turning down, making some interesting new lines in her pretty face. Then she turned on her heel. "Come along, David," she said over her shoulder.
She had a good ass too. Those tight jeans did good things for her. She wasn't a lightweight, never had been. I could see her as the buxom 18-year-old cheerleader nailing the running back after the big game (the quarterback would, of course, have been Victoria's). But she looked damn good as I followed her. And she was obviously aware of me behind her, her hips giving a delightful little twitch with each step.
Sure enough, her kitchen sink gave a steady drip. I twisted the handle and it was tight. I didn't say anything, just put my trusty tool bag on the kitchen table, got the little TacLite out, a very bright flashlight, and opened the under sink doors, looking for a shutoff.
I sighed, theatrically.
"What?" she asked, genuinely curious.
"There's no shut off," I said, then rolled my eyes and added, "of course. So, do you know where the main water shut off is?"
The look of puzzlement on her face made me chuckle.
"The what?" she asked.
"I need to shut off the water so I can fix this," I said. "Do you have a basement?"
She stood absolutely still.
"Darla?" I said.
Her eyes refocused.
"This is an easy fix, but I need to turn off the water," I said, "do you know where the cutoff is?"